Chuwantmybuffet Posted March 14, 2013 Report Share Posted March 14, 2013 Im 23, a college student, and have had a rough past year. I began taking adderall in in 2010 to help with school, work, and life in general. Ive had ADD since I was a kid, i dont remember getting a GPA higher than 1.9.. Basically, i couldnt even get into a community college lol. Anyways i spent two years on the adderall, it worked great for everything, i felt like i finally found who i was and who i was suppose to be. Then i started mixing opiates ( percocet) with the adderall and lost focus on life. I eventually stopped the adderall and ended up using heroin for awhile. After going to rehab twice i came out and relapsed on heroin again. My friend gave me a bunch of instant releases adderalls and i quit heroin cold turkey and now its been a month. I have stumbled upon some xr's as well and have been taking them. I guess what im trying to say is that adderall brought back those feelings of how great it can be and maybe it can be beneficial for me at this point in my life? As stupid as i am for buying them im kind of scared to just go see my psychiatrist and get back on my 20mg xr script with the snap of fingers.. My mom also hates adderall and says i dont need it and it makes me like a crack head... Shes got anger issues of her own and is a nasty person in general. She cares dearly for me and wants to see me sober but doesn't know how i feel and when i tell her it helps me she says"don't even think about going back on it".. adderall isn't peaches and cream either, it has the potential to make me a vegetable and surf the web for its entire 12 hour duration, chain smoke cigarettes, and wonder where the day went when it wears off. If thats never happened to you, you must be taking ritalin. I can stay off it if i want but its like now i have tasted the forbidden fruit once again and i feel its a requirement to indulge. My brains also jumbled at this point in my life from other drug use, I'm depressed, angry, and on top of it my job and financial situations are shot. Any advice would be wonderful. This is probably the best forum out there because its so specific. Thanks again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddw5053 Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 Well idk what else your feeling from the heroin you used to do but thank God you stopped that. In my opinion adderall is still just another drug out there that is only gonna temporarily relieve any pain you have now. If you were able to stop heroin, it seems to me you can definitely stop adderall, even if you feel you've recently tasted the "forbidden fruit". Why are you job and financial situations shot? With an attitude like that they sure are. I'd say first thing to do is start thinking positive about your future and what you want in life and what your goals are. Like everyone else will also tell you on this site and from my own personal experience EXERCISE. Don't just sit in bed, get up and force yourself to start going to the gym. That is the best way to start a recovery process because mentally like you said you feel your brain is always scrambled. My brain feels the same way so instead sitting there dwelling on it I go to the gym. So find a new hobby or something you can do other than starting a new addiction such as adderall. As you can see there are horrible outcomes of taking adderall after awhile too. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ddw5053 Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 good luck you can do it homes!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 15, 2013 Report Share Posted March 15, 2013 I think you're probably in the first stage of realizing what continuing the drug is going to do to you, but it doesn't sound like you are convinced you want to give up just yet... it sounds like you're kind of just thinking out loud, contemplating without taking any plans for action. Does that sound right? You really have to want to give up with everything that is inside you, more than anything you've ever wanted in your life. When you're ready to do whatever it takes, then we're here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted March 16, 2013 Report Share Posted March 16, 2013 Im 23, a college student, and have had a rough past year. I began taking adderall in in 2010 to help with school, work, and life in general. Ive had ADD since I was a kid, i dont remember getting a GPA higher than 1.9.. Basically, i couldnt even get into a community college lol. Anyways i spent two years on the adderall, it worked great for everything, i felt like i finally found who i was and who i was suppose to be. Then i started mixing opiates ( percocet) with the adderall and lost focus on life. I eventually stopped the adderall and ended up using heroin for awhile. After going to rehab twice i came out and relapsed on heroin again. My friend gave me a bunch of instant releases adderalls and i quit heroin cold turkey and now its been a month. I have stumbled upon some xr's as well and have been taking them. I guess what im trying to say is that adderall brought back those feelings of how great it can be and maybe it can be beneficial for me at this point in my life? As stupid as i am for buying them im kind of scared to just go see my psychiatrist and get back on my 20mg xr script with the snap of fingers.. My mom also hates adderall and says i dont need it and it makes me like a crack head... Shes got anger issues of her own and is a nasty person in general. She cares dearly for me and wants to see me sober but doesn't know how i feel and when i tell her it helps me she says"don't even think about going back on it".. adderall isn't peaches and cream either, it has the potential to make me a vegetable and surf the web for its entire 12 hour duration, chain smoke cigarettes, and wonder where the day went when it wears off. If thats never happened to you, you must be taking ritalin. I can stay off it if i want but its like now i have tasted the forbidden fruit once again and i feel its a requirement to indulge. My brains also jumbled at this point in my life from other drug use, I'm depressed, angry, and on top of it my job and financial situations are shot. Any advice would be wonderful. This is probably the best forum out there because its so specific. Thanks again. Listen to your mom. She absolutely 100% right. Also With your history, adderall is your ticket right back into rehab. It may seem safer because doctors prescribe it, but it is a narcotic just as addictive as anything else. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 16, 2013 Report Share Posted March 16, 2013 Actually, rehab sounds like a pretty safe place to be right now. Adderall and opiates are a whole different ballgame as you know, so if rehab is an option, don't rule it out. Either way we are here! Read our stories and you will see a lot of similarities to the vegetative state you describe so well. I pray you don't have to fall too low to get back up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted March 17, 2013 Report Share Posted March 17, 2013 Hi, so in my humble opinion it sounds like you are conflicted. You originally started off taking adderall and then got into harder drugs. The drugs lead you into rehab. You got out of rehab and relapsed on heroin. However, you stopped the heroin, but now you are taking adderall again. I guess I am a little confused. Do you consider yourself sober now? Is that what you are asking us? Are you sober if you are taking adderall since the psychiatrist will write you a script? Is that what you mean? It sounds like you made a lot of progress by going to rehab and getting off heroin. That is a major accomplishment! If you continue to take adderall how do you think that will help you moving forward? How was it a problem in the past? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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