Sebastian05 Posted March 19, 2013 Report Share Posted March 19, 2013 Hey guys. I'm approaching 10 weeks of being off of 10-20mg a day. I know for many of you, it doesn't seem like much, but for me, it was enough to make me feel like I could accomplish anything and it was really helping me get through my day to day. I was just reading through the post that STANFORD LAW put up and it really hit home. As you all know, I'm a lawyer. I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD until my last year of law school, but it did really help me get through the last leg of it all and then ultimately get through the bar exam. I've not been at ease ever since I quit. I have good days. I have bad days. But I've been pretty melancholy all around and to me, that is so saddening. Luckily I'm single, so I don't have a gf or a spouse or kids to upset with my bullshit sad mood im always in. I've been heavily considering anti-depressants, but those also scare the hell outta me. I have a new therapist who im going to start seeing today, so maybe that will help. I only want to go on anti-depressants as a last and final resort (especially after reading everything from QUIT ONCE and from CASSIE...i know they are both very much against subbing one drug out for another...i do feel the same way....but i just miss being happy). I didn't want you guys to think i fell to the wind or went back to taking adderall again, because i noticed that at the end of the string started by STANFORD, there was a lot of talk about people coming and going and not sticking around. I've been on the sidelines. I eagerly sign on every day in the hopes of reading success stories. Stories where people have pulled out of this awful depression and anxiety that comes with quitting. I just miss so so so so so much like feeling like everything's gonna be alright. I listen to a lot of classical music....a lot of jazz and bob marley and just try to calm the hell down and feel happy. I hope to God one day i pull out of this sadness....because im breaking my own heart day after day after day. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 19, 2013 Report Share Posted March 19, 2013 Hey Sebastian - I'm so glad to hear that you are still here. It's 10 weeks for me too and I'm just starting to feel normal again. I do take antidepressants and personally see this as an asset, rather than a liability. Everyone has their own opinion about meds and I respect that. I believe that depression is a chemical imbalance and biological disorder. It is an absolutely miserable existence and no way to live. I hope that your appt today is successful. It is my belief that meds do about 30% of making things better, the rest is up to you, but that 30% sure does help take the edge off. Be well my bro and stay plugged in -- we're all rooting for you! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian05 Posted March 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted March 19, 2013 thanks lea. good to hear that you are staying strong. which antidepressant are you on? what dosage? how long have you been on it? i hope you don't mind my asking. are you taking any other supplements or anything? i just got back from my new therapist and he's really great. he's a sweet older gentleman who curses a lot and laughs a lot. he's a real person and i feel like he gets me and i feel like he's gonna help me reframe the way i look at life. i hope so at least. Thats my biggest problem. I see everything as a huge catastrophe. Anyways, im pretty sure an antidepressant would benefit me, but i wanna see how far along i can chug without one. Thats probably really dumb, but i wanna order some L-Tyrosine and see how that helps. ((SIGH)) 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Sebastian, So glad to here of your HUGE success! Seriously! That is awesome!! I think it is totally NORMAL to feel depressed right now. I mean adderall is a hard core stimulant with crazy mood altering enhancement capabilities. I would imagine you miss that. I'm wondering though...what else is going on in your life besides work? Do you have other activities you enjoy? Hanging out with friends? Groups? Maybe it would be helpful to start finding some fun things to do? Get some joy back into your life now that you are free. Maybe that would help with the depression. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 btw - seeing everything as a huge catastrophe is a symptom of depression I'm on wellbutrin - 300 mg and prozac 40 mg. Just started topamax @ very low dose, up to 75 mg after 2 weeks and I think I'm starting to feel something - slightly better focus/ less impulsive. I also take l-tyrosine, yerba mate & atrophex -- all meds & supplements in the morning. The supplements give me a boost of energy on an empty stomach. I've tried just about everything. HATED 5-hr energy, rhodiola (an herb) did nothing, DMAE did nothing, it's just a matter of trial and error and finding the right combination. Your shrink sounds pretty cool. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 I'm not opposed to antidepressants in all circumstances. If you're having suicidal thoughts, by all means take some wellbutrin. But I think for most, post amphetamine depression is largely situational, as in your brain is all fucked up and needs time to heal. If you want to take an antidepressant to take the edge off for awhile, go for it. I just didn't want to quit an addiction in which I took pills to control my mood, and then take pills to control my mood. I wanted to reconstruct my inner resources piece by piece, no matter how slowly. As long as I wasn't suicidal, I wasn't going to die. I braced myself for the giant waves of discomfort and over time, I got used to the motion. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Hey Sebastian, my friend! So glad you like your new shrink. Sounds like you are even after one session starting to get a little more clarity about your mind, and that's an empowering thing. As you know everyone has different opinions about antidepressants. I am a supporter of them, so long as they are prescribed appropriately and for the right disease. Use your best cross-examining techniques to find out why your doc wants to prescribe you drugs, which drug and what he has personally witnessed in those who use it. Ask more quesitons than you want to. It's a big decision. And there's a whole lot of great stuff on depression in Psychology Today. Be well my friend, hang in there and please let us know how you're doing! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ADDLawStudent Posted March 20, 2013 Report Share Posted March 20, 2013 Glad to hear from a lawyer! I did the opposite of you in that I began law school taking adderall and just decided to go off of it. How are you doing in your job? I can't imagine doing some of the mundane and mind-numbing tasks required by lawyers! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coach_fran Posted March 28, 2013 Report Share Posted March 28, 2013 I never would have expected there to be as many lawyers on here as there are! I'm also an aspiring lawyer (applying to schools this fall, taking LSAT in June) and I'm absolutely, positively, 100% committed to not taking Adderall or any other stimulant medication in the process and for the rest of my life. I saw a therepist for several months after officially ending Adderall and after I expressed my doubts about never feeling like I would be able to compete again (at least intellectually) I'll never forget what he told me - there is nothing this drug does that you couldn't have already done on your own without it. So much truer than I could have known at the time. After coming off Adderall, my GPA (around a 2.0 on Adderall) shot up to a 4.0. My memory returned and seemed better than ever. My energy and willpower made a complete recovery. It can be done. Stay the course my friend. You've got this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Helpme Posted May 2, 2014 Report Share Posted May 2, 2014 Coach_fran, how did you do it? Im currently studying for the law bar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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