It started this time last year.

[Searchingsoul9]

I don't remember exactly when i got my prescription for adderall, but it was around this time last year.

Easter is coming up this Sunday. I just vaguely remember last easter being high on adderall and making cupcakes all day. Running back and forth to the grocery store to get the perfect colored food gel.

I lost count, but i am like 1 month and 1 or 2 weeks clean.

I had a HUGE desire to use today. I've been real sick with bronchitis the past 3 weeks and my face, legs, feet, arms, everything had been swollen. I felt like a huge, fat, lazy fuck.

I mean i could not walk the whole week. I have been bed ridden and bloated. And all i could think about was being adderall skinny last year. Having a spotless room. Perfecting my easter cupcakes all goddamn day.

Right now my room is a mess, i haven't been able to exercise for weeks, i've been asleep more than i have been awake. I know being sick is the perfect excuse, but i felt like a lazy bum.

But then i just thought and thought and thought. I was not happy last year. No matter how much i thought i was, i know i wasn't. I was hiding behind pills that only gave me a temporary, artificial happiness. I AM happier now that i am clean. No, i am not underweight anymore, but i am not fat either and i can lose the weight without adderall.

I just need to keep telling myself that.

Any other things you guys DONT miss about adderall? I'd love some reminders of why i quit.

THANKS

[BeHereNow]

Things I don't miss:

Being antisocial and super socially anxious

Feeling burnt out ALL THE TIME.

Amphetamines just to get out of bed in the morning? Seriously??

Not eating. I don't miss times when I was soo starving but unable to choke anything down.

My heart is more open now.

I don't miss being unable to laugh the way I was on adderall.

I don't miss having my brain in a fucking cage.

I don't miss the writer's block.

I don't miss being an empty hollow shell of a person.

I don't miss always being too "busy."

I don't miss being all sedentary because I was too scared to work out for fear my heart would explode.

I don't miss times when I did go running on adderall and would need like a whole day to recover because I would push it too hard and overexert and dehydrate myself and get a running hangover.

I don't miss being so mean to myself all the time.

OK that's a start

p.s. You don't need to be underweight, you are GORGEOUS!!

[Searchingsoul9]

Things I don't miss:

Being antisocial and super socially anxious

Feeling burnt out ALL THE TIME.

Amphetamines just to get out of bed in the morning? Seriously??

Not eating. I don't miss times when I was soo starving but unable to choke anything down.

My heart is more open now.

I don't miss being unable to laugh the way I was on adderall.

I don't miss having my brain in a fucking cage.

I don't miss the writer's block.

I don't miss being an empty hollow shell of a person.

I don't miss always being too "busy."

I don't miss being all sedentary because I was too scared to work out for fear my heart would explode.

I don't miss times when I did go running on adderall and would need like a whole day to recover because I would push it too hard and overexert and dehydrate myself and get a running hangover.

I don't miss being so mean to myself all the time.

OK that's a start

p.s. You don't need to be underweight, you are GORGEOUS!!

Thanks love! These are all very good points

xoxo

[Cat]

Everything Occasional01 said. Plus more things I don't miss:

Making to-do lists and then promptly ignoring them

Getting anxiety about easy things like making a phone call

Avoiding the doctor

4 pm headaches... which became 3 pm, then 2 pm headaches/need a drink aches

Spending like 30 minutes debating with myself over EVERY purchase at the grocery store. Peanut butter. Toothpaste. Trash bags. Socks. Not to mention the agony of shopping for clothes, my closet was so parched because I couldn't decide between this cardigan or that sweater. This might sound weird, but I am relishing in my ability to make shopping decisions and spend money!

[BeHereNow]

Everything Occasional01 said. Plus more things I don't miss:

Making to-do lists and then promptly ignoring them

Getting anxiety about easy things like making a phone call

Avoiding the doctor

4 pm headaches... which became 3 pm, then 2 pm headaches/need a drink aches

Spending like 30 minutes debating with myself over EVERY purchase at the grocery store. Peanut butter. Toothpaste. Trash bags. Socks. Not to mention the agony of shopping for clothes, my closet was so parched because I couldn't decide between this cardigan or that sweater. This might sound weird, but I am relishing in my ability to make shopping decisions and spend money!

Hahahaha Cat I think between our 2 lists I think we are enough to show just how ridiculous adderall is!

[Searchingsoul9]

Everything Occasional01 said. Plus more things I don't miss:

Making to-do lists and then promptly ignoring them

Getting anxiety about easy things like making a phone call

Avoiding the doctor

4 pm headaches... which became 3 pm, then 2 pm headaches/need a drink aches

Spending like 30 minutes debating with myself over EVERY purchase at the grocery store. Peanut butter. Toothpaste. Trash bags. Socks. Not to mention the agony of shopping for clothes, my closet was so parched because I couldn't decide between this cardigan or that sweater. This might sound weird, but I am relishing in my ability to make shopping decisions and spend money!

Yes, those stupid headaches always seemed to come earlier everyday. And i don't miss FREAKING out every afternoon, trying to get alcohol just to take the edge off.

For me, i wasted SO much more money on shit i didn't need when i was on adderall. Although, when i went shopping for shampoo or something i would like google on my cell phone 'which shampoo is better' and waste 20 minutes before choosing one! But i had a horrible habit of going clothes shopping every week, and instead of not choosing anything i would say fuck it and get both. I wasted over 8,000 dollars last summer. Spent it all. So bad.

Stupid adderall

[HAM]

Yes!!! everything y'all said. wow, I can really relate and didn't realize adderall had so many of the same behavioral side-effects.

I also don't miss being thirsty ALL the time.

I also don't miss grinding my teeth.

I don't miss the constant feeling that I'm forgetting something

I don't miss lying about tons of shit

I don't miss hiding my pills, and stashing them, sneaking extra doses, feeling like I couldn't make it through anything without another pill.

Seriously, I remember thinking how impossible everything seemed without adderall super-drug. Now I realize I can do anything and this empowerment motivates me. Instead of some stupid drug making me think I need it to accomplish anything.

I don't miss insomnia

I don't miss anxiety

don't miss looking like shit. I honestly feel that i look a couple years younger since I quit adderall about 3.5 months ago.

As a matter of fact, I can't remember anything good about how I felt when I was on that shit.

Life is so much better, simpler, happier, richer without it.

Stay strong!!!

[BeHereNow]

Yes!!! everything y'all said. wow, I can really relate and didn't realize adderall had so many of the same behavioral side-effects.

I also don't miss being thirsty ALL the time.

I also don't miss grinding my teeth.

I don't miss the constant feeling that I'm forgetting something

I don't miss lying about tons of shit

I don't miss hiding my pills, and stashing them, sneaking extra doses, feeling like I couldn't make it through anything without another pill.

Seriously, I remember thinking how impossible everything seemed without adderall super-drug. Now I realize I can do anything and this empowerment motivates me. Instead of some stupid drug making me think I need it to accomplish anything.

I don't miss insomnia

I don't miss anxiety

don't miss looking like shit. I honestly feel that i look a couple years younger since I quit adderall about 3.5 months ago.

As a matter of fact, I can't remember anything good about how I felt when I was on that shit.

Life is so much better, simpler, happier, richer without it.

Stay strong!!!

Right on, HAM!!

Your list reminded me of a few more:

I definitely don't miss having a "dirty secret" to hide from everyone I know. (Which goes with your point about lying, and secret stashes.)

I don't miss sneaking pills during my work day-- either in the bathroom, or in front of people, and then being worried about playing it cool and whether I was acting weird.

I don't miss taking everything wayyyy too seriously! I am so much more chilled-out now!

I don't miss the agoraphobia.

I don't miss the time-consuming inner debates I used to have about whether I should take another pill--whether I "needed" another pill to get through something. What a boring thing to obsess about!!

I don't miss shaping my whole day--and my whole life-- around some stupid pills. How boring is that?!

I DON'T MISS BEING BORING!!! Even though I had some interesting ideas, overall adderall made me SO BORING!

I don't miss thinking I need some stupid drug to make my brain function. I seriously believed I needed it. I seriously believed my accomplishments were all adderall's doing. I am still working to get rid of this belief, but I have come a long way.

I don't miss chalking up my accomplishments to a drug. I like knowing that everything I do is 100% genuine. This is extremely empowering!

I just submitted a project proposal that was APPROVED! Which means I'm starting to find my natural inspiration again, and I'm feeling super inspired!!! (Actually, so there was that time when I wanted to relapse because I wanted to master something really tough-- Yeah, what's happening is that I channeled the desire to master it into genuine, adderall-free motivation. This project that just got approved me mastering it, in my own good time, ADDERALL-FREE!!)

OMG!! I JUST REALIZED TODAY I AM 3 MONTHS CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Searchingsoul9]

Right on, HAM!!

Your list reminded me of a few more:

I definitely don't miss having a "dirty secret" to hide from everyone I know. (Which goes with your point about lying, and secret stashes.)

I don't miss sneaking pills during my work day-- either in the bathroom, or in front of people, and then being worried about playing it cool and whether I was acting weird.

I don't miss taking everything wayyyy too seriously! I am so much more chilled-out now!

I don't miss the agoraphobia.

I don't miss the time-consuming inner debates I used to have about whether I should take another pill--whether I "needed" another pill to get through something. What a boring thing to obsess about!!

I don't miss shaping my whole day--and my whole life-- around some stupid pills. How boring is that?!

I DON'T MISS BEING BORING!!! Even though I had some interesting ideas, overall adderall made me SO BORING!

I don't miss thinking I need some stupid drug to make my brain function. I seriously believed I needed it. I seriously believed my accomplishments were all adderall's doing. I am still working to get rid of this belief, but I have come a long way.

I don't miss chalking up my accomplishments to a drug. I like knowing that everything I do is 100% genuine. This is extremely empowering!

I just submitted a project proposal that was APPROVED! Which means I'm starting to find my natural inspiration again, and I'm feeling super inspired!!! (Actually, so there was that time when I wanted to relapse because I wanted to master something really tough-- Yeah, what's happening is that I channeled the desire to master it into genuine, adderall-free motivation. This project that just got approved me mastering it, in my own good time, ADDERALL-FREE!!)

OMG!! I JUST REALIZED TODAY I AM 3 MONTHS CLEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONGRATS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 3 months is amazing. I don't miss being boring either! I enjoy genuinely laughing, being silly, having fun, being real, being the weird, funny person i am woopwoop.

Congrats again lady, i love the addie free you<3

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I'll be honest with you, I'm still struggling with some of those things mentioned above. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping these days, and I seem to enter these zombie like trances for hours during the day when all I can do is sit on the couch and read or watch tv. Whole weeks have gone by like this. I'm not depressed, but I have very little momentum. The house is a mess. I am slowly getting back in to working out, but there is no consistent habit established yet. I am being patient...