kazorek Posted September 25, 2010 Report Share Posted September 25, 2010 I've taken adderall for 3.5 years. Well, I've actually been mostly quit since late July, but I've had two benders that lasted nearly a week. I'm coming off the second one right now and I feel like a complete and utter failure. I just started going back to school (college), it was my second week of homework and I ended up cramming it all in and not even really getting it all done. I did fine the first week when I DIDN'T take adderall, but what do you know, this week when I went on a "study drug" bender all I did was hack my nintendo wii, get high with the neighbors, and wander around an art festival- not to mention spend hours upon hours reading crap on the internet. If only I would've come here and read a bit. Heh heh. I found the site when I made my most recent quit effort. Despite the benders this has actually been my most successful attempt ever. I desperately need to re-rally myself though. I felt great early on when I was taking vitamins and getting exercise, avoiding sugar and minimizing/not relying of caffeine. Slowly but surely though, I began drinking mountain dew, gulping 5-hour energys, binging on junk food, not exercising, watching tv all day... etc. When I get into the lazy unproductive bump on a log lifestyle my ADD energy starts to become annoying and childlike. I bounce all over and plop on the couch, make fun of people, make funny faces, and just annoy people (my girlfriend mainly). But when I'm eating right and living how I ought to my ADD becomes a shining characteristic. I'm full of energy and sunshine, I make people laugh, I feel fresh and exciting, and smart. Like I'm one of those people that are just electric, that never stops surprising the people around them. When I fall off the wagon and start being that lazy annoying person, I feel like I'm bound to relapse. I just need to figure out how to keep a good thing going. I need it really, not just to stay off adderall, but to do well in general. I do, after all, have ADD. And that means I have to be careful with myself or I'll fly off the handle. Ugggghh.. rambling again. lol. I'd better go. I had a bad night tonight so I just thought I'd say hi. It helped :roll: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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