Stressed!!!!

[Greg]

ugh...I dont plan on sleeping for like the next two days.

[Greg]

on the bright side, my ability to push myself without adderall has come a long way. this would have been unfathomable a few months ago.

[NaturalBrainPower]

you and me both.. sucks that recovery has to be at a snails pace. Life looks so boring and in black and white off of addys

[Greg]

I went to bed at 7:30 this morning, slept for a couple hours. I have an hour long presentation tomorrow withowerpoint slide that I BARELY STARTED.thats because I've been working nonstop On a hell exam due tomorrow that I am still working on and a case project due tomorrow and my group wants to know when I can meet today. And I can't even stay up late today because I have work at 7 tomorrow.

[BeHereNow]

I feel that my friend..... it's that time of the semester! :/

On the bright side, I think that we are probably capable of a more consistent ongoing productivity level now than we were on adderall and locked into the crash-and-burn cycle. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

You can do this!

One thing at a time. I think the key is not to think about everything at once. I like that my ability to slice the work load into one thing, day, or week at a time has improved now. I used to get all overwhelmed about the seemingly overwhelming work load around finals time. Now, somehow, it all seems more manageable. So, maybe focus on just one thing at a time.

Also, I think setting time limits to how long you have to work on one thing can prevent any one thing from consuming too much of your time. Like, work on that powerpoint for two 1-hour chunks, or something, and then whatever you have is what's being presented.

If you just get through these next 2 days and then you can reward yourself! And don't forget to take little naps, they'll help the quality of your waking hours immensely!!

Good luck!

OK, we should really get back to work now!

[Greg]

you and me both.. sucks that recovery has to be at a snails pace. Life looks so boring and in black and white off of addys

I know this will sound strange following my last post. But life is more boring. But this is your new normal, and pretty soon you will get used to it and you won't believe you had to take a pill to make life more interesting. It took me a very very long time to recover and I still have lingering effects..when you are recovering you want to think slow and steady and consistent. Do not use at all costs. Reaffirm your committ,net all the time because the danger of relapse is always hovering above you. If you relapse that is because you weren't working on your committmet to staying clean. Keep posting, don't expect the urges and desire to go away right away because you will set yourself up for disappointment.

[Greg]

I feel that my friend..... it's that time of the semester! :/

On the bright side, I think that we are probably capable of a more consistent ongoing productivity level now than we were on adderall and locked into the crash-and-burn cycle. It's a marathon, not a sprint.

You can do this!

One thing at a time. I think the key is not to think about everything at once. I like that my ability to slice the work load into one thing, day, or week at a time has improved now. I used to get all overwhelmed about the seemingly overwhelming work load around finals time. Now, somehow, it all seems more manageable. So, maybe focus on just one thing at a time.

Also, I think setting time limits to how long you have to work on one thing can prevent any one thing from consuming too much of your time. Like, work on that powerpoint for two 1-hour chunks, or something, and then whatever you have is what's being presented.

If you just get through these next 2 days and then you can reward yourself! And don't forget to take little naps, they'll help the quality of your waking hours immensely!!

Good luck!

OK, we should really get back to work now!

Thanks. I feel better. Going to take your advice to heart. One thing at a time and set time limits.

I REALLY like what you said about whatever I have is what is presented. I could spend a hundred hours on this or a couple...the fact is I don't have the time to spend a hundred hours so I will just have to present what I have even if its not as good as I'd like. Period.

and yes, it will be over soon and i will get to veg out and stuff so i have that to look forward too. Alright back to work

[lea]

setting time limits to how long you have to work on one thing can prevent any one thing from consuming too much of your time. Like, work on that powerpoint for two 1-hour chunks, or something, and then whatever you have is what's being presented.

I love this! If there was a "love" comment I would hit it But seriously -- Learning this skill has been key in overcoming obsessive checking tendencies, especially when writing and presenting. And in many other everyday activities too.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I love this! If there was a "love" comment I would hit it But seriously -- Learning this skill has been key in overcoming obsessive checking tendencies, especially when writing and presenting. And in many other everyday activities too.

Yep, totally agree and whether it's in the academic arena or in the crazy world of work the same thing applies. I've been at my new job for 10 days today and have my first client presentation tomorrow!! Also was asked to propose a client solution "on the fly" because "you're the expert" today in a meeting, even though I am just starting to learn the products that this firm produces and the clients it serves. If I was on adderall I would have stayed up all night trying to cram in an entire business in to one brain, ended up completely overcomplicating it and trying to reinvent everything to make it better (even though this company has been growing 20% YOY since the 70s) and feeling terrified that I wasn't going to change the world in a day.

But instead, I have done the best I can do; I have read things methodically, allowed things to absorb, and asked for help. And I will go in with a great team tomorrow and allow them to shine and know that if I can ask one smart question or contribute one small tidbit it will be a win. I don't need to be superwoman, and it's SUCH a nice feelng!

That reminds me -- asking for help was something I never ever did when I was on adderall. Anyone else experience this?

[BeHereNow]

Just in general, I really think that by forcing ourselves not to make things too perfect, we can improve the quality of our work. The tendency towards over-editing, over-planning, over-preparing, over-thinking, etc. can slaughter the creativity, flow, and spontaneity of things like presenting and writing. Powerpoints (and, probably, computer word processing as opposed to typewriters or notebooks) can promote tendencies to overdo/overedit everything and make it way too perfect. Ever see a talk by someone whose overpreparation killed the presentation? Where they just read directly from a printed page or depend too much on a powerpoint? It kills the flow and delivery, and the personable aspect of it where you connect with the audience.

I think powerpoints are best used to help organize your presentation and make sure you don't forget anything, help outline the basic points with some quotes and/or some graphics, but it shouldn't impede YOUR creative flow or your connection with your audience. Just like over-editing shouldn't impede the writing flow as it happens. These kinds of OCD tendencies can kill the quality and human connection.

(So happy not to be on adderall or buying into those tendencies anymore!!!!!)

What I'm trying to say is that by not overdoing it, you're probably improving your presentation. Just BE THERE NOW and BE YOU!!! You'll be great! AMAZING, BADASS!!

[Greg]

Thanks for the advice. When I got nervous during the day I kept reminding myself of what you said about over preparation being bad. I was really nervous at first, and but as I got into it I relaxed and then it started going well. I'm happy with it. IM JUST SO GLAD Today is over with. My biggest fear is that I would say everything I had to say in half an hour and have nothing more to say...finish way too early but I managed to talk for an hour and fifteen minutes. It is supposed to be between an hour and an hour and a half. Once I hit the hour mark I felt like I was home free.

For some reason after I finished my presentation I started thinking that everyone who is recovering from adderall addiction should give a presentation without adderall as part of their recovery. There is something therapeutic about it.

[Greg]

I got my grade back. Meh. I lost points on technical errors, but got good marks on presentation style and he said I seemed we'll prepared!! I thought I would do better but I drew one of the hardest topics. The other girl who got a bad topic also was disappointed with her grade.. My topic was a really dull topic. I am also kicking myself for things I should have done.

Anyway, I am only going to say one good thing about adderall. Creativity. I really struggled with creativity. if i was on adderall i would have come up with so many different ideas. I lost points on creative thinking on this presentation. Like one person had everyone do a blind taste test with coke and Pepsi. Like I couldn't think of anything neat like that.

But it's not like i would even consider taking adderall again because I lost points on creative thinking,

[BeHereNow]

I got my grade back. I lost points on technical errors, but got good marks on presentation style and he said I seemed we'll prepared!! I thought I would do better but I drew one of the hardest topics. The other girl who got a bad topic also was disappointed with her grade.. My topic was a really dull topic so...

Anyway, I am only going to say one good thing about adderall. Creativity. I really struggled with creativity. if i was on adderall i would have come up with so many different ideas. I lost points on creative thinking on this presentation. Like one person had everyone do a blind taste test with coke and Pepsi. Like I couldn't think of anything neat like that.

But it's not like i would even consider taking adderall again because I lost points on creative thinking,

I pressed "like" only because of the last line about not taking it again. Sorry to hear about your grade! I think you did better than you or they are giving you credit for. In all honesty I'm sure it's mostly because you drew a bad topic. If you had a good topic, you would've had more ideas and you would've been more inspired. Same for the girl in your class.

(Pepsi/coke taste test? Meh....)

In grad school I have finally learned to take my "bad" grades with my head held high. Some professors just look for where they can subtract points and don't even see what people have done right. If I did the best I possibly could, and they're too caught up in that competitive/harsh lens to see the quality, then fine, I'll take my B+ and keep moving forward. I kinda feel bad for people who live in that mental trench of cutting people down rather than seeing what they've done that was good. (I don't know if your school is as harsh as mine, but I think there are professors everywhere like that.)

Also, on adderall I always felt like my creative ideas were just flowing and good, but afterwards they really weren't (it was all in my head), and I still feel like I lost a certain aspect of real creativity when I was taking it. Then again, it works differently for everyone and we have to accept that we're giving up something that was beneficial in SOME limited ways (I mean we're not dumb, we wouldn't take something like that if it totally sucked.)

Anyway, you're amazing and you got it done so it must have been good! Congrats!

[Greg]

Very true about feeling we are creative vs being creative.

Oh, boy. I certainly have professors like that, one of them prides himself in being harsh. He is a real trip. You're right and I'm learning I need to learn how to be less affected by the grades I get. Because I am always going to have to deal with this and can't keep letting grades get me down. I have two more grades coming at me next week. God. Anyway thanks for all the grad school advice, you are amazing as well!

(Unfortunately after the presentation I fell into a state of PAWS and it continues today. My head is throbbing constantly in a paws like way. I have a couple of movies and I'm going to try to sleep it off..)

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I'm sorry you don't feel like you did as well as you could have but honestly it sounds like just a shitty luck of the draw. Taking a nap and sleeping it off sounds like a great idea. To put it in perspective, I wonder if in 2 or 3 years time you'll even remember this shitty little exercise! Sounds like you're a good presenter, and that you know your content, and ok so maybe you need to work on doing a little more risk-taking with your creative ideas. But all in all it sounds like you did well. And you certainly tried your best so the rest is out of your hands.

You're a good one, IR. You deserve a movie and some popcorn and a big sleep in this weekend.

[BeHereNow]

I need to learn how to be less affected by the grades I get. Because I am always going to have to deal with this and can't keep letting grades get me down. I have two more grades coming at me next week. God. Anyway thanks for all the grad school advice, you are amazing as well!

Thanks! And sorry about the PAWS! Sounds like its time to relax and eat some really good food. (Sucks, but least you're not on adderall, because the anxiety of all that is SO much worse on adderall, right?)

Right on! Don't forget that they WANT you to succeed. I was devastated by those harsh professors at first, and sometimes still am, but part of it is meant to challenge us. The toughest of tough love. It's not a judgement of you or your potential, just another approach to seeing how far they can push you, and telling you straight up what you could do better. You learn what you're good at in undergrad, and what you need to improve in grad school. Building up a thick leathery skin seems to be almost a rite of passage, and an ongoing process. (I'm going to need to re-read all this in a couple weeks myself btw!)

Feel better!!