Girlfriend of a possible Adderall addict

[Lizzyashe]

Hi everyone

I am writing because I am looking for help. I am 20 years old and have a boyfriend of the same age. We go to different colleges and we have had a rocky relationship. We love each other very much, but I constantly feel like he is pushing me away.

Since we began dating 2 years ago, things have been up and down. Summer of 2012 was great and we became much closer and it continued into the school year. This past February, things took an unexpected turn and he broke up with me basically out of nowhere. After only two weeks, he came back to me saying he loves me so much and he cant think to lose me. When discussing our break up, he has said that the Adderall he takes makes him overthink and worry a lot. maybe this was weong of me, but i think i almost looked past him saying this for too long.

Things seem to be going well, but I saw him a few days ago and he once again told me that he has been feeling unhappy. he says he is so happy with me, but just unhappy in general. He said he feels like he lives in the moment and he tries to give me his time, but he feels overwhelmed. Shortly after the talk, we discussed a lot and he said he loved me so much and doesn't want to lose me, he just has so many worries sometimes. I have been looking for answers as to why he always is so up and down with me considering one day everything is fine and the next it is not. When he came to visit, he brought up how he takes a lot of Adderall again. I have been feeling like something is off with him as he is more shut down towards me and his family and I have to pry him open to talk. He used to not be like this.

I just am not sure if I am just blaming adderall without credibility or if maybe he is just not as interested in me. I just doubt it because we talk everyday and he always tells me how much he can't wait to see me and be with me and he loves me, but then sometimes he randomly says he feels so overwhelmed. He has texted me in the middle of the night before telling me he feels sick to his stomach about anxiety and stress. Is this common for an adderall addict or is he just stressed with school?

He is taking 30 mg now. I feel like I have been neglecting that adderall can be the real problem but I do not want to come at him if I am wrong. He takes more than one pill a day, but I really am not positive as to how much he takes cause I am not always with him. The fact that he tells me he takes a lot of adderall and says it when he's worried about things makes me feel like there might be a problem. He has snorted it before but I thought maybe it was more of a college experimental type of thing.

I just want him to know I want to help him and not hurt him. Does this sound like an issue to anyone else? I need help please. If an adderall problem is really causing these doubts and mood swings it would answer so many of my questions, but I do not want to wrongfully assume. Thanks.

[Corey]

Hey Lizzy,

In my experience, yes, taking adderall made me far more neurotic and have many more mood swings, all of which I'd tend to take out on my SO at the time. I didn't quit until after we'd broken up, though I flip flopped desperately between feeling like I "needed" it, and feeling like it was ruining my life, which it sounds like your boyfriend is definitely going through. Breaking up and being by myself in a big strange city, without the foil of an intimate relationship to make me feel "normal," was the wake up call I needed to quit.

Having said that, if your boyfriend is anything like me, he probably secretly wishes someone would call him out and help him quit, as it's often extremely difficult to do so on your own. The fact that he's dropping hints like "I think I'm taking too much adderall" tells me that this is the case. Though he might be both resistant and cooperative at different points, I know I would have really appreciated my girlfriend's support in helping me quit. It couldn't hurt to have a frank discussion with him about his relationship to adderall. Even if he feels like he needs it, and gives you a bunch of immediate future reasons why he can't quit, you can remind him of all the problems it's causing him and remind him how much better his life will be in the long run if he isn't living his life as a slave to adderall

[Adam NC]

I agree with Corey, I've been with my gf for 6 months now and she is a psych major. Which I am thankful for, bc if she wasn't she may not have understood why I am quitting. I remember doing the same thing... Saying to my gf that I hate that I need this. I wish I could move on without it. Not worry about where my bottle is... Or freak out if I accidentally left my meds at home. I really hope he is ready and I know you will be there to support him, just remember that it will get worse before it gets better so be ready for some mood swings.. I hope everything works out and if you need anything, advice, someone to chat with about it. You know where to go. :-)