distrupted sleep + anxiety

[Sebastian05]

hey guys:

when June hits i'll be in my 6th month. i THINK things are getting better. its hard to say. its such a slow process. Pretty scary, considering i was only taking 10-20mg a day.

i envy all of you who have said after you quit, all you could do was sleep. I'd give anything in the world for a good night's sleep.

i dont really sleep well at all and its starting to really scare me. i fall asleep beautifully, but im constantly waking up throughout the night....i get SURGES of anxiety when I wake up and have lots of trouble falling back asleep.

generally throughout the day my anxiety comes and goes. sometimes its really bad. sometimes its not that bad. its such a crapshoot.

the depression is still there, but i'm thinking maybe things are getting better. I have an appointment with a really good doctor of internal medicine coming up. I'll discuss anti-depressants with him then. But i dunno. its still something i'm trying to stay off of.

the happiest and most productive ive ever been in my life is when i had 10-20mg of adderall in my system on a regular basis for about 4.5 years. so many times, im so close to going back, but instead i try really hard to fight.

i've been running a lot lately which helps me to feel good all around.

i just feel like my zeal and creativity and pep has gone to total shit. that coupled with the distrupted sleep is just very upsetting to me all around.

Can anyone speak to the anxiety and the disrupted sleep and constantly waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to fall asleep and such?

thanks so much, as always.

S

[BeHereNow]

Hey Sebastian,

I can relate-- Sleep disruptions & anxiety are my LIFE. Have been for years. I wake up in the middle of the night, or too early (like 4 am) with mind and heart racing uncontrollably. It has been really bad during quitting, especially earlier on. And then if I manage to fall back asleep, I'm extra tired in the morning because the sleep is disrupted--its AWFUL. I feel for you and relate!

I'm with you on refusing to try antidepressants too. My dr. prescribed me Lexapro for anxiety. I haven't touched it and probably won't. I'm all for it for other people, but they scare me for a lot of reasons. I just don't want to go on anything else that will alter my brain chemistry other than what I'm already taking (why add to the mix?)

I was taking low dose xanax and even that didn't help the sleep issue. My dr switched me to klonopin which has helped because its longer acting, but if the anxiety is really bad then it barely does anything.

I've also tried homeopathic sleep aids and Diphenhydramine (Benadryl) which causes a 'hangover' of drowsiness for some people, but works if you really desperately need to knock yourself out.

Mostly, I really really REALLY like exercising. When I wake up extremely early and its really bad, I'll act like one of those morning workout people and go for a run at dawn. Sometimes that will knock me back out, or at least ease the anxiety. Even better is exercise during the day. As much as humanly possible to tire myself out so I can actually sleep.

I've also been working harder to avoid eating late at night, especially carby foods. Any alcohol has to be consumed early so it's processed before I go to sleep (alcohol disrupts the 2nd half of your sleep cycle.)

I read a tip somewhere that if you try not to think about sleep, that can help insomnia. If it's a non-issue in your mind, if you can avoid stressing about whether you'll fall asleep, then you can relax better and be more likely to fall asleep.

Some of this is obvious, but I like this list of tips. These things help me calm my own mind to sleep. http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-Asleep

[BeHereNow]

I think this anti-anxiety diet helps too. http://www.anxietyno...nd_anxiety.html

I'm sure you already know all this stuff, its just random things that have helped me over the years and might hopefully help you. Have you tried any of these or others?

[Sebastian05]

Thanks Occasional. I never used to be this way before adderall or while on it.

Im worried that im never going to have a restful night's sleep again.

Can anyone else chime in here? Any advice at all?

[Krax]

Why is it you don't want to take adderall? I am seriously asking this because you characterized the time you were taking it - and not abusing it - as the best times in your life. If I could say that I honestly wouldn't have quit. It also seems to have had a beneficial effect on you.

[Sebastian05]

Krax, i stopped taking it because I got seriously worried about having those chemicals course through my body for the rest of my life. i dunno. Sometimes i really wonder if i should go back on it. I NEVER took more than 20mg a day and it seriously helped me stay happy and focused and motivated and on point throughout the day. I got really freaked out seeing all the bad press on adderall and then came across this site and figured maybe its best to just stop. Since i quit, ive been pretty depressed and miserable and my anxiety is bonkers. I feel like im a TOTALLY different person now. Before and while on adderall i was bubbly and energetic and fun. Now ive turned into a miserable bump on a log.

Starting in June i will be 5 months off and into my 6th month. I dunno what to do if i dont start feeling better and happier soon.

Im either going to have to go on antidepressants or start back up on the adderall. Im at a total loss, but never in my life have i felt this sad and confused, lost and hopeless

[Cassie]

You should realize that if you were 'bubbly and energetic and fun' before adderall, you will be again. It just takes time. Like, a year or more. People really underestimate the length of time it takes for the brain to repair itself after long term stimulant use, especially if you're not in your teens or 20s anymore. So either you wait it out, or go back to taking speed, which will very likely lead to diminishing returns over time. I think you need to give it at least a year to see whether you are truly better off with or without adderall. If I hadnt, I would have just kept relapsing over and over again. Speed would lift anyone's mood, give them a boost. It's the long term costs to the psyche you need to consider. Just my two cents.

[BeHereNow]

I never used to be this way before adderall or while on it.

Couple of things:

1. I think it's kind of normal to have sleep disturbances and anxiety when quitting adderall. For months I was getting no more than 4 hours of sleep per night while first quitting. It surprises me though for you because you took such low doses on adderall, and the only reason I got more sleep on it is because I was in stage 7b of amphetamine addiction with massive abusive doses that burn the body out.

2. I've always been an anxious person, but the first time I quit adderall in 2003 I started having serious panic attacks. I had had some prior, but they became a regular thing for me. I was also going through some other major life transitions, but looking back I think that something about the quitting process can bring out underlying anxiety. From what I remember, within a year or so the anxiety mostly subsided.

It might be recovery related for you. Maybe it's especially rough for you because you were taking a normal dosage, it probably became very normal for your brain, perhaps even more normalized than those of us who took binge doses which the brain can probably never interpret as normal.

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

I think Cassie's right. Give it a year. Personally I do think you have depression which adderall is not a viable long term treatment for; but now isn't the time for asking those questions. Hang in there.