New to forums/ looking for quitting adderall support

[Jbgods]

Looking for others who have taken the drug at high doses for long periods and ate either trying to quit AND those who have success ...I need support Plz help

[BeHereNow]

Hi Jbgods! Welcome to the forums! You will find a lot of people here who have quit successfully, over the long term, and people in various stages of the process. It's a great place, it helps us stay quit, and everyone here is very supportive and has great advice!

Personally, I took adderall at high doses (like 60-100mg+) per day for one year, and prior to that I was taking 40-45mg/day for 2 years. Been completely quit almost 5 months now with lots of support from the people here and I feeling great!

Sounds like you're in the right place. Hope you stick around!

[waronwar]

Hey Jbgods! I have been an occasional visitor and poster for a couple years and I still haven't freed myself from the grip of this drug. I vist for inspiration and support every now and again... I feel bad sometimes b/c so many people on here have successfully quit and make it seem so easy (not really, but in comparison to my success). I can't seem to get off the drug... I have taken it for about 10 years and at very high does. I am checking in today for the first time in a long time b/c I kind of had a breakdown this morning b/c I am a binge abuser. I take at almost or my actual prescribed dose for a while and then go crazy w/ it. I mean it has twisted my brain to just pop pill after pill avoid sleep to the point of just plain stupidity, which it alwasy did... However, at this late stage in the game when I want to quit more than ever my binges and dosages b/c more and more scary. I think this is so many people that get clean from drugs or alcohol after a stint of sobriety fall back in even heavier when they relapse. These things are scary... I was about ready to do whatever just to get away from everything and everybody to clear my head. I have multiple health issues and have had a hard time finding good care... go figure.

I need the support too. I come on to ramble, probably not make much sense and never seem to quit the drug. This time I mean it. I have said it before but my body can't take it anymore. I think I'm actually ready this time. Will I succeed?... I don't know, but I am doing everything I can to make sure it's a success.

You are definitely not alone, but man it sure does feel like a scary, shameful and lonely place to be. wow... adderall is a helluva drug. powerful stuff and no joke.

[BeHereNow]

I think I'm actually ready this time. Will I succeed?... I don't know, but I am doing everything I can to make sure it's a success.

Just wanted to pass along a friendly tip that's worked for me in terms of quitting adderall and cigarettes. If you keep going into it with doubts about yourself or your future success, that's leaving open a door open for you to relapse later on. For me, if I'm quitting something I have to go into it KNOWING that THIS IS IT. NO CHOICE but to be successful.

[waronwar]

I hear ya... I'm in a really down type mood. Not much to say right now. Wish I could just disappear for a bit. Thank you for your optimism.. I do appreciate it. There is a greatd deal of really powerful support here and it's amazing.

[kori]

Waronwar we are so much alike! I haven't been on it for ten plus years but it sure feels like it at times. its just so much easier ti keep abusing it, going on binges , and asking the doctor for more. but wait a minute-how in the HELL is that easy? I'm talking to myself here as well...the lifestyle, my lifestyle, I just mentioned, is not normal, healthy, or beneficial in any way. so why continue? The sooner I connect this intellectual knowledge to my heart, the sooner ill start actually doing what I say I'm going to do. ..achieving my goals through my own strength, not a pharmaceutical company.

sorry didn't mean to make this all about me..I gotta drop the narcissism too!

[kori]

And waronwar , you asked, "will I succeed?" Sweetheart you already are. we always have all these dreams and big goals and absolutely DREAD the perseverance and character its going to take in order to get there. What's sad is we fail to see that the journey is just as, if not more fulfilling and important as the destination. you can't "arrive" anywhere unless you take the first step and choose life over addiction and slavery. You are more than worth it. in taking these steps, if not even crawling at first, you are already actively succeeding. who is to tell you the definition of success? Define it for yourself, change your perspective/mindset, and take the steering wheel and kick the addetall the hell out the car

[waronwar]

Thanks Kori,

 

I haven't been on the forum lately. I was doing so good and then I let my doctor write me the IR's again and now I'm going through another tough time. I had a long talk w myself last night. Time to put pen to paper to create a plan and work through what this drug has done to my life...Then  I can better  describe to my husband my situation and how much support I'm really going to need. I def. have before, but he is so layed back and probably doesn't understand so it's easy for me to get sneaky and irresponsible...I miss having a life, even if it was sleeping most of it... I will never get healthy until I end this affair I have w/ the devil.

 

Thank you for your messages... Seems you knew I needed some encouragement last night.

[JustinW]

Waronwar,

 

We are all here to support and encourage you.  I hope that you will be successful with your plan.

[Jon]

_{One word: ACTION. Do something related to quiting...anything. It could be the beginning of something big!}

[waronwar]

Complete unabashed honesty helps. I'm good at that, but the shame... oh the shame. I will beat this but it may be the biggest battle I've faced and I have faced a few. Thank you cyber friends. The brain chemistry change is the scariest and most life-sapping thing I've known. The support here is amazing.

[LILTEX41]

JBGODS,

 

Where you at, yo?!  Did you quit?  We need an update please.  Thank you!

[waronwar]

Friends,

 

I am doing well. ACTION is always right. I take 30 mg XR daily... To some of you that's a lot, but to someone who has borderline narcolepsy/ fibromyalgia it's only enough to get me out of bed. I am doing well this week. Started physical therapy for severe back/neck pain, have been very open w/ friends and husband and asked for support and help w/ exercise,etc. I had to get to a very bad and sad place to want to get better. I must say I have been here before, but I know now that I am no spring chicken... What i really want for my life and the reality of everything has never been more real. I feel very strong right now. Thank God for my husband, so many wonderful friends, this board and all the friends here I have never even met.

 

I will definitely look for a way out of needing the drug at all, but for now I feel stable. It's not the quittingadderall part of this website, but for me it's my story right now.

 

XOXO

[waronwar]

OOOPs I take 40mg XR... LOL that sounds even worse, but damn ten years later it's nothing I will do this

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Waronwar:  proud of you, it's never easy and each time you begin again you have to remember it's like the first time!  Is there any way you could go to rehab?  

 

Jbgods and Kori:  how are you doing?

[kori]

In the same predicament waronwar was but without the action. had a plan and everything but got scared and refilled . paying for it in more ways than one.hate everything

[kori]

Just experienced my cousin dying. really feel nothing but the anxiety now and its hitting me

[Motivation_Follows_Action]

Kori: what were you scared of? I understand that fear of failure, but also remember that adderall breeds horrible paranoia and anxiety. Don't let the nature of the drug blind you from overcoming the bloody thing! Can you dust off the plan and have another go? My mum used to say, when she got me out of bed, "Today is a day with no mistakes in it!"

[waronwar]

Kori,

 

I have done great and fallen off the wagon again. I would always string along going I messed up, why not keep messing up. Well I messed up a couple days ago and felt like crap. I dusted myself off, skipped my dose yesterday and kept living w/ a positive outlook. However, I had 2 days of severe depression this past Sunday and Monday... Bad depression...

There is no magic formula for us... When it clicks and all the right chemical, physical, and spiritual stars align themselves we will get better. Seeking help (using this forum) shows our willingness. It connects us w/ people that will not judge us and can understand what we are going through. Hang in there... If you want message me... nothing shocks me and I never judge. I can promise you I have seen and done a lot in my years and only want to help. I am still on my journey. I have at least a decade of experience w/ this devil drug XOXO

 

In response to Motivation Follows Action, I definitely have thought that if nothing else worked I would go to rehab, but I do not believe I need rehab at this time.I am being more proactive than I have been in the whole ten years of taking this drug. I don't know if I have mentioned this but my sister is mentally ill and very addicted to adderall and all stimulant drugs. My parents had her recently taken to a hospital for mental illness/substance abuse. She was doing well for a few weeks. I saw her over the weekend and I think she was on meth. It was horribly depressing and caused all kinds of drama amongst my family. It made me want to clean up my act more than ever. I think I would rather quit my job and have my husband and friends support me. This bout of physical therapy has me feeling better every day. I had gotten to a pain level that was excruciating. Slowly but surely, I am re-gaining my life.

[LILTEX41]

Waronwar,

 

It sounds like you are making PROGRESS. 

 

YES!

 

  It made me want to clean up my act more than ever. I think I would rather quit my job and have my husband and friends support me.

 

The desire to want a life without Adderall has to override the desire to take it.  I think this is KEY.  You have to VISUALIZE and keep DREAMING of your Adderall free life in order to achieve it.  You have to WANT it more than you want to take Adderall.  I know that sounds difficult, but I find that sobriety and/or abstaining from whatever substance you have an addiction to has to come from within.  Nobody and nothing else outside of yourself can get you clean/sober.  The desire must live within YOU.  This is why I feel so many people fail when they go to rehab centers and are in and out of treatment centers throughout their lives.  Once YOU have made a decision, have a desire within yourself, and are following your own intuition about what it is you want in life, then it will be so much easier.  You won't need to keep searching for other people's plans, instructions, or anything like that.

 

I can only imagine how that is to see your sister on meth.  My guess is that she went to rehab to make your parents happy?  She half heartedly wanted to get clean?  She will get clean when she wants to be clean and hopefully that day will come.  In the meantime, the only thing you can do is take care of you. I bet if she sees you getting healthier and happier it may just be the inspiration she needs to want that for herself. 

 

Hugs!

[waronwar]

No, my sister definitely never went to rehab... In fact I have cut ties with her since that day. Too long of a story but it was sort of my last straw. Until she decides to get help for her substance abuse and mental disorders, I just can't be around her. I saw her last at my nephew's birthday party. She seemed sober that day but I think she stole some adderall from my purse. Sad.

 

I very much want this crap away from me... I just wish I knew how to live life w/ severe chronic fatigue. Doctors just really could care less about most of us. I know there are good ones, but they are all so busy, and difficult health issues like I have are hard to treat. You just get lost in the shuffle of the medical system. It's a lonely scary place to be... that is for sure.

[waronwar]

I wish some of our new visitors would check in ... I sometimes wonder if it's bc they are not doing well and are too ashamed to let us know. I have def been there...

 

Not that I check in often enough

[LILTEX41]

When did you get diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome?  Was it before you started taking Adderall?

[JustinW]

I wish some of our new visitors would check in ... I sometimes wonder if it's bc they are not doing well and are too ashamed to let us know. I have def been there...

 

Not that I check in often enough

Or perhaps it has something to do with the ADHD personality?  We aren't exactly known for sticking to much of anything for long periods of time.  SQUIRREL!

[waronwar]

Justin, you are right about that!