tjtigers14 Posted June 3, 2013 Report Share Posted June 3, 2013 Okay so about a year and a half ago, I met this guy online who ended up teaching me everything I know about Internet Marketing. He helped me reach the success that I have today and I am incredibly grateful for that. However, where I have quit using speed and started doing things "slow and steady", he continues to tweak out day after day. We instant message and he just goes a mile a minute. He talks about method after method, idea after idea and will type out 3 paragraphs before I type a sentence. I will be having a great day and think I'm really getting back into the swing of things and doing a lot of work. Then we will chat for 30 minutes and I'll feel like a turtle versus a swarm of jackrabbits. I guess I don't really know what I'm looking to get out of this thread, except maybe some tips for how to deal with other people who are still using around you? My therapist said "Well he may seem like he's going 1000 miles a minute right now, but he's going to be the one to burn out in the end." I would just stop talking to him but we are doing a huge project together and I don't want to give up the opportunity Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted June 3, 2013 Report Share Posted June 3, 2013 A little insight for you - on the other side of shitting out all those ideas, your friend is probably anxious, paranoid, sleep deprived, guilty and definitely a little unglued. Your therapist is right. If you felt a little more confident in your capabilities you would not need to compare your brilliance with that of a speed freak. Maybe focus on what you do do well, and swim in your own lane. Your friend may eventually need you to help him from drowning.... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tjtigers14 Posted June 3, 2013 Author Report Share Posted June 3, 2013 A little insight for you - on the other side of shitting out all those ideas, your friend is probably anxious, paranoid, sleep deprived, guilty and definitely a little unglued. Your therapist is right. If you felt a little more confident in your capabilities you would not need to compare your brilliance with that of a speed freak. Maybe focus on what you do do well, and swim in your own lane. Your friend may eventually need you to help him from drowning.... You have no idea how much this helped me! Thank you so much! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted June 4, 2013 Report Share Posted June 4, 2013 Hey Tjtigers, I can definitely relate to how hard it is to be around people who are still using and who are "shitting out ideas" (amazing description, MFA!) The thing is, the quality only goes downhill when it's a case of idea diarrhea. You said he's always coming up with "method after method." But how many methods do you really need for this project? Too many ideas = confusion and loss of quality. He writes 3 paragraphs where you write 1 sentence? How good are these paragraphs, really? I'm currently re-reading a short essay I wrote back when I was on adderall. It's 8 pages long and I wrote it in probably 2 hours max. BORING. SO FUCKING BORING. It's OK I guess but.... Too many ideas! Moving too quickly, and all of them are underdeveloped! At the time, those ideas felt divine. Now they just feel flat and lifeless.....zombie-like....hollow, the way adderall makes people. I know that the topic I was (am) writing about is actually an interesting one. But writing about it on adderall, and moving too quickly through it, was just a bad case of idea diarrhea. I wish I could flush it, but I have to rewrite it instead I hope this doesn't happen to your friend, but it might. What I'm trying to suggest is that the quality of your work is at least the equal to his, if not higher. Quality takes time. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Occasional, I know this wasn't directed at me but I found it particularly helpful. I am struggling so much with relapsing and have been considering the impact on my work. I've starred to tell myself internally that I can take just 10 or 20 mg a day for a month, just enough to get me over that 10lb weight loss, and then everything will go back to the way it was. Pitt that's not how it works. Thank you for reminding me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 MFA, please don't. I will admit to having recently relapsed because hopefully this will convince you not to do it. What happened was I was visiting home and a friend gave me one adderall... I took it, thinking it's just one and I feel strong enough to take this one pill recreationally. That would have been fine, except then I decided to buy 6 more pills from her. I took one a day for a week. IT WAS NOT WORTH IT. After taking the last one, I spent the next five days feeling crappy... kind of like I was transported back to the first or second month of recovery. Was able to get up and go through the motions but was super worried I had really set back my recovery. (Thankfully now I feel back to normal, like before the relapse.) And my wedding is coming up in September, and it's so important to me that I reach that day feeling my absolute best, I will definitely not be taking any more adderall, not now, not ever. I guess the good thing about the relapse is it reminded me that not being on adderall is SO MUCH BETTER than being on adderall. So: a week isn't worth it. A month isn't worth it. Just don't do it! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted June 5, 2013 Report Share Posted June 5, 2013 Occasional, I know this wasn't directed at me but I found it particularly helpful. I am struggling so much with relapsing and have been considering the impact on my work. I've starred to tell myself internally that I can take just 10 or 20 mg a day for a month, just enough to get me over that 10lb weight loss, and then everything will go back to the way it was. Pitt that's not how it works. Thank you for reminding me. MFA I'm really sorry to hear you're struggling so much right now. Please don't relapse. You have come way too far in your recovery and you have way too much to lose. Your brain has healed so much. Your work IS going uphill, even if you aren't seeing the results yet. Just to add to the above: The end of the adderall line (for me) also involved weight gain. My metabolism dropped so low I reached a new maximum weight. This isn't common, but I think it's really important not to romanticize it for weight control. The only way out is through. Relapse is not an option. As QO said when I was on the verge of relapse: "Change the channel!" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 I keep coming back to read these posts again and again. Thank you so much, I am working hard to figure out what's underneath the trigger, and I'm realizing that the adderall won't solve it at all. It's this crazy little concept called self-acceptance, that I went away when I was 18 and never really came back. I realized that even if I did have a perfect body (whatever that means), I'd still think I wasn't intellectually stimulating or literary or creative enough. Geez this navel gazing is really quite a pathetic exercise isn't it. Sorry for all the self absorbed crap. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 TJTigers, I can relate. It is exhausting being around people tweaking on speed. Sometimes you gotta have tweakers in your life for many different reasons. Your friend's credibility is already less because he is fucked up on a mind altering drug. You already know that so you can filter some of those grand plans of his with your sober mind. You will most lkely get tired of the idea train and move on to making your own money somehow. MFA: Every time I got tempted to relapse all I had to do was remind myself that adderall quit working for that, too. Whatever that was at the moment. If you still have some kind of hope that adderall can help you make anything in your life better, you really need to talk it through with your therapist. You may have lingering issues from your addiction that did not run their full course into disgust and rejection. It took my body at least a year (about 15 months) to get back to a lower weight than when I quit. Weight loss would be a really silly reason for you to relapse at this point. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krax Posted June 6, 2013 Report Share Posted June 6, 2013 Every time I got tempted to relapse all I had to do was remind myself that adderall quit working for that, too. Excellent point Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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