amlycr Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 this addiction is so hard to break. it has drove me absolutely insane, for years now. I'm mentally, physically, emotionally a different person. I read on this website for hours the other night. 10 days ago, to be exact, and haven't touched a pill since. but it's a constant battle day in and day out to keep myself from just taking one, or a half, or some. the thought of adderall keeps coming to my mind, my friends take it. people at work take it, everywhere I turn its there. My doctor told me not to stop taking it, so I have refills sitting at the pharmacy that everyday I want to fill just to "have on hand" to comfort me. how can I make this urge go away? How can I pass these withdraws. I'm 7 months pregnant. the doctor told me to keep taking it, until the end of my pregnancy, but I can't, I cannot keep feeding myself these pills and expect to be okay. I have been on adderall for 3 years now, that I can remember. Before adderall I was buying vyvance from friends. it's just been an expensive on going addiction that I am finally ready to quit. any comments, suggesting, opinions would be so helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunax Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 Think about your baby! Doctors don't know enough about the harm that this medication can cause to unborn fetuses. Are you abusing it or taking it as prescribed? If as prescribed, how much are you currently taking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 It is a nasty thing to get hooked on, think about how bad it is for you and how bad it will be for the little one to be hooked on it too! I told my pharmacist to throw away my prescriptions and I pray for the strength to throw away the rest of my pills some day in the near future. I quit smoking over 10 years ago and I suppose that Adderall addiction is similar in that the cravings never go away completely but are dulled over time. Keep up the good work; we are all here for the same reason and we are all here to support each other because we know what it is like to start and continue this journey back to our true selves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 Actually, I found quitting smoking and adderall to be entirely different things to quit. I quit both about the same time two years ago. I NEVER have the desire to take adderall, but i still crave a smoke every once in a while. In some respects, I have to be stronger for longer when it comes to kicking the cigs. With adderall, when I was done, I was indeed done with it forever. I still have to take the cig addiction one day at a time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blesbro Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 Amlycr, you really have got to look deep inside yourself and think about what is really important to you. Recovery is a long process but you can't take the drug forever, and it seems like the more you take it the more it drives you into the ground so just take it one day at a time. Each day, your goal should be to not take adderall. That's it. Over time it will get easier and easier until you finally reach the point where you can live a wonderful life without ever taking or thinking about adderall. You will feel much better around 2 months off adderall but probably won't feel back to your old self until 6-12 months off it. Your baby deserves to see you at your best! I hope this helped. Quit-once, I think that you and I somehow have a different addiction than others on this forum. Once I resolved in my mind that I never wanted to take adderall again and once I realized that I hated how it made me feel towards the end of my addiction, I never had a single craving for adderall. I suspect your recovery might have been similar. For what it's worth, I still haven't quit tobacco and I definitely would have a lot of cravings if I tried to quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustinW Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 I will admit that my discussion about cravings is an over simplification. My desire for Adderall is for the effects whereas my desire for cigarettes was/is for the tactile sensations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 Quit-once, I think that you and I somehow have a different addiction than others on this forum. Once I resolved in my mind that I never wanted to take adderall again and once I realized that I hated how it made me feel towards the end of my addiction, I never had a single craving for adderall. I suspect your recovery might have been similar. For what it's worth, I still haven't quit tobacco and I definitely would have a lot of cravings if I tried to quit. Hey Blesbro- It just occured to me why we didn't experience adderall cravings. You and I chose the same approach to quitting - that was to quit once and be done with the shit forever. We avoided the cycle of quitting and relapses. Maybe that is why quitting smoking was so difficult for me - because I was a pro at quitting but I would always relapse eventually - sometimes even years or months later. I quit the addiction of adderall in my mind several months before I quit taking the pills because i knew that the only way to beat any addiction was lifetime abstinence. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blesbro Posted August 19, 2013 Report Share Posted August 19, 2013 Bad, What you said is in alignment with quit-once's theory about the difference between the two addictions. Maybe people really need to realize that they can be BETTER people in every way if they get off adderall permanently. That was another deal-sealer for me; the fact that eventually adderall did not provide any performance enhancement at all for me. It was the exact opposite for me toward the end of my addiction. Quit-once, Yes I think both of us were really done with the drug before we quit we realized that we couldn't take it forever and we realized that it just stopped doing what it once did for us. I'm grateful that it eventually made me feel like absolute shit. Having those realizations made recovery 100x easier for me. Once you can resolve it in your mind, you can make it happen. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LILTEX41 Posted August 20, 2013 Report Share Posted August 20, 2013 You can do anything you set your mind to. I WILL break this addiction. I WILL OVERCOME. I WILL WIN this battle. I WILL NEVER GIVE UP. I WILL KEEP MOVING FORWARD. You CAN do this! Your baby needs a healthy RECOVERED enlightened happy pill free mama! You have 2 months to get clean before the baby comes. Set yourself up now while and get grounded in your recovery. Just remember that each day clean is one more day farther away from addiction. That's simply all this is going to take is time. If you go back to it, you'll have to start all over again. That's all you got to do is just let time pass and not take it. I promise you IT WILL GET EASIER. HUGS! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunax Posted August 20, 2013 Report Share Posted August 20, 2013 Can we bring this forum back amlycr? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunax Posted August 20, 2013 Report Share Posted August 20, 2013 Back to* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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