THE 30 DAY CHALLENGE!!

[lunax]

FW, thanks for being honest with us. I've had several moments where I felt I wanted to call my doctor as well but I am committed to this and I know you are too.

As for your insomnia, have you considered taking a sleep aid? I have been taken 5mg of ambien for a while and it works great for me. I take it around 10-10:30pm and when my alarm goes off at 5:45am I feel pretty refreshed. I come off of it from time and take melatonin (source naturals-sublingual peppermint...I get it from Amazon). I hope this helps!

P.s I'm gonna hang out here and keep up this challenge with you guys. We'll have our 60 day challenge together right here!

Stay strong!

[Freedom's Wings]

That is awesome news Lunax as you are as much a part of this as I am! I think you just gave me renewed faith! Yes! I am commited to this!

Oh these battles..We shall overCome. :-)

As far as the insomina, i just had some calm tea, and took a melatonin!

Lets hope this does the trick. :-D

[lunax]

Good morning,

Just checking in D34

FW, did you get any sleep last night?

P.S LunaX is a "she"

[JustinW]

@FW - Not every day will be smooth sailing, the true measure of your resolve is shown during your darkest times.  You will make it through the bad days; I am confident because you have shown so much strength and restraint so far.  On your next good day you should call your dr. and tell him that you want to be cut off.  Then you won't have the temptation when the feces hits the rotational cooling unit.

 

@Lunax - keep up the good work, I'm glad to see your quit is successful this time around!

[Freedom's Wings]

@ Lunax I have received SLEEP! The melatonin really helped. Thank God. I was about to lose it. Never appreciated sleep this much in all my life! Thank you guys,Justin, on your continued support! Keep it comin :-)

I am committed to this! I can do this!

Day 23: CONFIRMED!

[Freedom's Wings]

Congrats on day 34 Lunax is a "she." Lol. Tx. Added you as a friend as well:-)

[lunax]

yay to sleep!

 

you're so close to completing the challenge!

[Freedom's Wings]

You guys are sooooooo amazing! Today was great in comparison to the last couple of days anyway. Just getting home from work. Yes! l made it thru the entire shift, running solely on sheer will and two cups of coffee!

Remembering this is not a linear process helps a lot when I begin to lose hope. Right now anyway I am sooooooooooo glad I did not 'relapse' .

I can do this!!

Fw

[Freedom's Wings]

Kylevl! Post up stats?? Hru??

[lunax]

FW, have you considered cutting your doctor off to avoid even the smallest chance of a relapse?

I haven't quite done so, but I plan to tell my doc not to prescribe any more adderall when I see her next month. Luckily I have enough anti D's for another month so I don't even need to see her until then.

Stay strong friend, hope you had another good night of sleep!

[Freedom's Wings]

Lol @ rotational cooling unit. SomeOne has that quippy comedy I heart so much! Here's looking at you Justin. #Lmao

[Freedom's Wings]

Ciao my lovelies,

I did it! Each day is a celebration! Im off of work today; so I have been able to relax! But this morning i decided I would workout. And, so I did. The burn made me crash hard. For I slept the next three hours away. My plan was to read.But hey, you cant win em all. Now im up completing some paperwork and soon ill be headed to my belovededs for a bit of down time, if you call posting items to ebay for sale downtime that it. So with no further ado,

Day 24: CONFIRMED!!!! High praises

@Lunax you're amazing, thanks for ckecking up on me and YES! Once again I received slumber!

[Freedom's Wings]

I think when I go in for my appointment in two weeks, I will tell the dr. I wanna wing it for now. Currently, this is where my strength lies. What you guys are also unaware of is that I have been diagnosed as narcoleptic by three dr's. I went to 3 different docs because I didn't believe it myself. And I don't have "sleeping spells," although what I do experience feels pretty damn close.  Each time, Each dr. preformed a sleep study and provided the same result.

 

So...as I was already being prescribed addy for adHd, in addition to this, Im prescribed addy for narcolepsy!  This makes it especially difficult for me to abstain, because even if I just accept adHd as a part of me, which I am more than willing and ready to do, the narcolepsy is not so much an easy diagnoses to "wing," if you will....

 

I have tried a non stimulant for the narco but it does nothing. Thus, on top of the drain from not taking addy, the daytime sleepiness is doubly exhausting and erratic. This is what drove me to the doc the other day. I literally could bearly stand up at work, let alone from a coherent sentence..

My hope is that i'm not narcoleptic and addy just has my internal clock all screwy and that with time, lifestyle and behavioral changes my overall health ie narcolepsy, will reflect these changes...

Stay tuned; that's all I got for now gang...

 

**Currently, My internet is off so I have to use my phone to type/ post. SO sorry for all the wacky spelling.. 

[Cassie]

I think when I go in for my appointment in two weeks, I will tell dr. I wanna wing it for now. At this point, this is where my strength lies. What you guys are also unaware of is that I have been diagnosed as narcoleptic by three dr's. I went to differenr docs because I didnt believe ir myself. But.....eacg of them preformed a sleep study and provided the same result. So...as I was already being perscribed addy for add, in addition ,im perscribed addy for narcolepsy. This makes it especially difficult for me to astain, because even if i just accept add as a part of me, the narcolepsy is not so much easy diagnoses to "wing." I have tried a non stimulant for the narco but it does nothing. So on top of the drain from not taking addy, the day time sleepiness is doubly exhausting and irratic. This is what drove me to the doc the other day.

My hope is the im not narcolepric and addy just has my clock all screwy and time with time and behavioral changes my overall health ie narcolepsy, will reflect these changes...

Stay tuned; thats all I got for now gang...

FW,

 

Have you ever done Bikram yoga? (or any hot yoga). I first started taking Adderall for 'excessive daytime sleepiness' too, and when I tried to quit multiple times the fatigue was always a relapse trigger. It wasn't until I got serious about diet and exercise changes that I was able to push through. I did Bikram yoga 2-3 times per week for the first 6 months off Adderall, and ate mostly vegetarian, no fast food or sweets, etc. Also walked 20-30 minutes per day. Anyway, the intense yoga regimen was what really helped me get my energy back.

 

I had convinced myself that I had borderline narcolepsy before Adderall, but the truth is there was always something holistic I could do to improve my diet, fitness, sleep, anxiety, etc., and after Adderall I did it. I noticed from your profile that we're the same age. I feel a lot more energy now than I did when I was in my mid-20s - our bodies and hormones and worldviews change and you might feel (with some sustained time off Adderall) that you feel way better than you did before. I think you really need to give it a year to start to feel these permanent energy changes though, otherwise you will keep relapsing at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, etc. Why don't you commit to staying off Adderall for a year? - make it the 365 day challenge

[sciencesuccess]

Keep it going Freedom Wings'!  

 

My advice: reply every day even if you take addy.  You'll still receive support, and one slip up will only be a speed bump instead of a roadblock. Just stay involved, no matter how much addy you do or don't take.  That's the most important thing.  

 

Make staying involved, mindful, and active in your addiction a higher priority even than the actual quitting.  It seems counterintuitive, but our brains don't work like computers, and this attitude will give you the best chances at long term change.  

 

[Freedom's Wings]

FW,

 

Have you ever done Bikram yoga? (or any hot yoga). I first started taking Adderall for 'excessive daytime sleepiness' too, and when I tried to quit multiple times the fatigue was always a relapse trigger. It wasn't until I got serious about diet and exercise changes that I was able to push through. I did Bikram yoga 2-3 times per week for the first 6 months off Adderall, and ate mostly vegetarian, no fast food or sweets, etc. Also walked 20-30 minutes per day. Anyway, the intense yoga regimen was what really helped me get my energy back.

 

I had convinced myself that I had borderline narcolepsy before Adderall, but the truth is there was always something holistic I could do to improve my diet, fitness, sleep, anxiety, etc., and after Adderall I did it. I noticed from your profile that we're the same age. I feel a lot more energy now than I did when I was in my mid-20s - our bodies and hormones and worldviews change and you might feel (with some sustained time off Adderall) that you feel way better than you did before. I think you really need to give it a year to start to feel these permanent energy changes though, otherwise you will keep relapsing at 2 months, 3 months, 4 months, etc. Why don't you commit to staying off Adderall for a year? - make it the 365 day challenge

Salve Cassie,

 

Lol, I have never heard of Bikram yogo, let alone tried it. It does sound interesting however. At this point, I'm willing to try almost anything! It's really hard with the exhaustion to get an exercise, walking regimen going right now. But I am giving it a go. and that is my long term plan. Today I jogged on the treadmill for 30 minutes, then I damn near capsized and passed out on my bed. but hey, I got thru the workout.   

 

I know I have to work on my diet. I actually haven't binged much this attempt around at quitting. I think it's because I'm really trying to "mindfully" make lasting changes...Also, abusing addy  totally screwed my digestive system to hell! I am always bloated and/ or have that uncomfortable even nauseous  tummy feeling. I hope this too regulates as time passes.

 

It's kind of cra lol. I think to myself here recently....Wow... although I never intended to find myself here, and have never been a druggie, I have really done a number on myself this time. And I have otherwise tried some crazy shit in my 30 years on this earth,; but this takes the cake.... sheesh....Anywhoooo I am committed to this quit! I need to see/ become who and what I was/am meant to be. I mean, hell if nothing else, I owe myself that much.   

 

 

Also, I'm glad to hear that your energy has actually powered up since!  I hope this happens for me as well. One question, how much were you taking (addy) and for how long??

 

 

I was on it for approx 7 years; the first 3 years I took it as prescribed; the latter I abused it insanely! I would stay up for days straight. I consistently took 100- 120mg's daily; sometimes I would get as high as 160mgs, til I ran out. Then, I'd wait two weeks and pick up a new script. ....

 

Ciao4now. Be Well!

[Freedom's Wings]

@ Cassie

 

Yep! That's pretty much my plan, to stay off the addy for at least a year, then I will be able to better access this whole narco situation. I refuse to give the docs that much power over me again. So, I still have not accepted it as truth, esp with my recent past behaviors (addy). 

 

@ sciencesuccess

 

oh....I'm not going anywhere, no matters what happens! i'm here for the long haul....until I am sure I have fully conquered this horrible horrible thing. So, you guys will be getting the dish. I can't post like i'd like right now because my net is down, so right now i'm at a friends house trying to get it all in. lol. 

[Cassie]

I was taking 30-40 mgs of vyvanse a day for 4 years. Not sure how much adderall that's equivalent to, probably 20-30 mgs of adderall. Before switching to vyvanse I took 20 mg adderall for a year. The most adderall I ever took in one day was 50 mgs, one time, and for vyvanse 90 mgs, twice. I was never a binger, just a daily maintenance user, which is even worse because you justify the habit more easily.

Might take you a lot longer than a year to feel normal given your usage, but at a year you'll feel much better and have a firmer grasp on recovery.

[Freedom's Wings]

Ok Day 25...Lets do this!

[JustinW]

I missed a couple of days and look at you, counting down with only 5 to go.  We are all very proud of you!  I just realized that I probably won't have internet access on day 30 to celebrate with you.  Please know that I am there in spirit.

[lunax]

Checking in at D36

 

You're almost there FW!       

[llwilson]

I'm on day 17! Despite some troubles at work and some really bad cravings for adderall I have remained adderall-free! Freedom wings- you're not alone! Keep your head up and stay strong! Lunax- congrats on day 36! I know you can do this!

[lunax]

Yay so happy when you post. I can't believe you're on day 17...we are all moving along to bigger and better things. So proud of us!

[Freedom's Wings]

When I see all of your faces I am forever overjoyed! Greetings LL, Lunax! Today has been a pretty laid back day. I am a touch tired but otherwise in very good spirits. Earlier, while looking in the mirror I had this kind of but not so strange experience. I was looking at myself and thinking, hey I like me. I havent felt that feeling in quite some time and the weird thing about it is, I noticed that I was really looking at ME, accepting Myself. Just as I am. Though the moment was fleeting, I just thought Id share.

I can not thank you guys(gals) enough for ur support! Each and Everyone of you. It means more than words can say!

And now for today's announcements!

Lunax, you my friend are smoking this thing! I am soooooo very proud of you.

Ive read many times on this site that It gets worse before it gets better. well you my buddy o pal are making this thing look like a cakewalk. Addy has never been a match against the true you. Keep moving forward and kicking ass!

Tx for the weLL wishes

LL, Always a pleasure! You know...I worry about you..lol, funny right seeing as I've been a total wreck lately. But have no fear, im in it to win it! And you I would like to congratulate on being 17 days clean and sobs. Congrats! Stay strong and Keep comin' back!

And you...Fw I hear that's the moniker youve been going by these days, unlike the norm as of late, you actually did something right!

And..With no further ado I'd like to own it like its mine. DAY 25: CONFIRMEDDDD!

[lunax]

I can totally relate to what you described. I had a moment like that a few weeks ago...i too looked in the mirror and thought to myself "there you are...it's been a while". It also happened the first time I laughed really hard, it was almost like hearing myself laugh for the first time. Kinda bugged out but cool at the same time.