my story

[t'smom]

Being someone who can most definitely attest to the paranoia that can be brought on Adderall & Vyvannse (the latter being much worse for me personally), I can also ascertain that these drugs can also most definitely destroy your life (both literally and figuratively). 

 

Given the self-awareness of my paranoia, it might seem somewhat ironic that I was lurking on this board quite awhile before deciding to quit taking Adderall.  Reasons?

 

1) I do believe the drug can help folks with natural dopamine issues (lower overall production/lower receptor sensitivity, etc).  At least initially.  (like with MANY drugs, the big "initially")

 

2) Paranoia is something that has been increasing in society in general, so the idea of attributing my paranoia 100% to the Adderall seemed somewhat faulty - a great book to check out on this subject: Paranoia, by Donald Freeman.

 

"In a recent experiment, psychologist Daniel Freeman used a virtual-reality mock-up of a ride on the London Underground to probe his research subjects’ suspicious thoughts about strangers. Noting that those individuals who were often anxious or who have negative feelings about themselves and others were more likely to jump to unsubstantiated negative conclusions about their copassengers on the (virtual) Tube, Daniel was able to gain insight into the relatively high frequency of paranoid thoughts or “persecutory delusions†in  today’s society. With this selection, Daniel and his brother, journalist Jason Freeman, summarize this and other research in one of the first works on paranoia intended for lay readers. Their intent is largely to demystify a psychological phenomenon that may be as subtle and ubiquitous as depression. Noting connections between delusional thinking, social alienation, and stress, the authors also suggest that paranoia may be to some extent an epiphenomenon of modern urban life in unstable times. It’s an unsettling diagnosis, but it need not compound our worries: mild paranoiac tendencies, they suggest, can be successfully contained through cognitive behavioral techniques such as those described in a self-help guide by the same authors, Overcoming Paranoid and Suspicious Thoughts (2008)". --Brendan Driscoll

 

But being the kind of person who tries to look on the bright side when she can, I'm hoping that I will be able to look back and laugh at the experiences that I've had while taking Adderall (looking at them from a safe distance, that is).

 

Has anyone else ever wondered whether this entire website is "fake"?  That is the production of concerned parents/teachers who want to dissuade their children from taking the magical "study drug" that Adderall and friends can be?  I have.  

 

Then when I realized how paranoid that was, I simply wondered which of the users where "real" (and in reality, it is likely that at least some of the users might not actually be real people trying to quit / trying to decide whether to quit / etc Adderall).

 

I have been tapering down for awhile, and never was taking doses more than 40 mg.  I don't know if it's actually placebo effect, but this drug did seem to make me more paranoid even in the very small doses (7 -3.5 mg) that I had tapered back to before deciding to finally give it a rest.  Maybe it works like our immune system does -- a small amount of antigen can trigger a large reaction?  Je ne sais pas...

 

Anyway, thanks for reading this, hope that it makes you laugh to be suspected of being part of an internet plot to stop folks from taking Adderall!

[Zerokewl]

Lol  when I was using I thought this site was developed by drug companies to study the effects of quitting or part of someone's phd thesis paper.  If you want to get paranoid start reading up on Big Pharma, that's the real conspiracy.     Welcome aboard  thanks for posting.

[Shambo]

At first I worried that someone could get my info & somehow tell my dr or pharmacy that I was abusing my meds. That sounds ridiculous now. And even if it's not, I don't give a shit now. . Nice to have you here!

[Jon]

_{Toward the end of my Adderall use, my parinoia became much more noticible. Before it became noticable, it was ruining friendships insidiously.}

 

_{I used to smoke weed to help compensate the jittery Adderall feelings, but it got to the point that I became so paranoid after smoking that I became afraid of using it and had to quit. It would take a lot of paranoia for me to quit weed. I loved getting high.}

 

_{About a year later, I quit Adderall.}

[t'smom]

At first I worried that someone could get my info & somehow tell my dr or pharmacy that I was abusing my meds. That sounds ridiculous now. And even if it's not, I don't give a shit now. . Nice to have you here!

 

Thanks, and it's totally true, like people don't have their own lives/problems that they would spend hours trying to figure out who you were, etc..

 

or.. ok, that could happen (in some horrible universe where people really did have nothing else to do but destroy other folks' lives)... but (thankfully!) unlikely, right?  

 

What helped me was in addition to thinking of multiple possible explanations for different events was determining their associated likelihood/probability of actually being true. 

 

As in.. there is a 1% probability that a sociopathic stalker is following my every move, interfering with relationships with friends and family, intercepting emails for employment, and in general destroying my psyche and ability to function.

 

I guess it's just a result of the drug making us kind of narcisstic?  

[t'smom]

Lol  when I was using I thought this site was developed by drug companies to study the effects of quitting or part of someone's phd thesis paper.  If you want to get paranoid start reading up on Big Pharma, that's the real conspiracy.     Welcome aboard  thanks for posting.

 

Doesn't seem like an ethical way to do research for any kind of PhD, imho.

 

Actually, it seems like it would be impossible for anyone would pull clean data from a message board anyway, if you think about it (the information any such person collecting really would be all anecdotal, and there would be selection bias from which people posted/which didn't, etc, etc, fraught w/problems).

 

Seems like it would be kind of pseudosciency to me..but the perfect example of an Adderall generated thought!

[t'smom]

_{Toward the end of my Adderall use, my parinoia became much more noticible. Before it became noticable, it was ruining friendships insidiously.}

 

_{I used to smoke weed to help compensate the jittery Adderall feelings, but it got to the point that I became so paranoid after smoking that I became afraid of using it and had to quit.} 

 

Must have been scary!

 

Glad that is over for you!