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Trying to Quit


jaymeyer26

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Jay, 

   My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling trapped in a high pressure job  and trying to find some balance. I've been very blessed with time off work.  I was fired because I lost a 3mill acct, alot had to do with to many late nights, not eating and riding the adderall rollercoaster.   

 

  If you are going to use be careful to not abuse and mind your sleep and nutrition. Don't give up the struggle. 

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I'm so sorry that you are going through hell right now, Jay. I understand the Badderall induced depression/anxiety/hopelessness /catastrophic loss of self confidence and worth, etc.

I can only imagine what it must feel liKe to provide for a wife and child. I feel lucky that I am the woman that is taken care of by a wonderful man, such as yourself.

Please try to do the best you can for yourself by taking vitamins, eating healthy and taking a little time out just for you.

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts.

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Thank you zerokewl and GDTRFB for your thoughtful comments.They mean the world to me right now.

Today is a better day so far. I have a prescription at the doctor's office, but I haven't gone to get it. Right now that is where I am. 

Oddly (I don't know if anybody has experienced this before), last night as I was heading home I had a real sense of calm and tranquility wash over me. It lasted for a couple of hours and felt awesome. I was so at peace and I thought, well maybe I'm turning the corner.  However, I woke up this morning feeling very depressed and anxious. I nearly cried again.  Who knows what last night's feeling was all about, but it was natural and I hope it starts happening more often. Right now I just plug through the day and keep my head down. I don't talk to people at work nearly as often as I used to. I just get as much work done as I can and race home to be with my wife and baby. 

I do need to get on some vitamins if I'm going to give this another shot. They are really expensive though. 

Thanks again for all the thoughts being sent my way. I think they truly help.

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All - I am heading to my doctor today and am going to try and tell her I cannot be prescribed this stuff anymore.  I have stayed away for 13 days now and my brain seems to be coming around. I still have spells of serious depression and anxiety, but overall I am feeling okay.  I am nervous that I won't have the guts to cut off my supply because once I tell her there is no going back.  I know this is the big step in all of this, so I am hoping I have the strength to do it. Please send thoughts of strength my way!

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I did it!  I had a very open and honest discussion with my doctor and we agreed I can no longer take adderall.  Wow, this is a big moment for me.  Big thanks to everyone on here, especially Justin and Jon, for encouraging me to talk with my doctor to officially cut off my supply to this drug.  I did agree with her that I should go on Wellbutrin for awhile to help with my depression.  I'm not overly excited about being on it, but I think it is a necessary step for me to reach my goal of getting off and staying off of adderall.  

All the support on here has been so incredible. Thanks for continuing to listen even when I fell off and had to pick myself up again. I'm going to hop back into the 30-day challenge now and report on my progress daily to keep myself in check. 

Thanks again all!

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