High expectations of oneself, must go out the window, when quitting adderall

[Greg]

It has occurred to me that having high expectations of oneself and quitting adderall work strongly against each other. In order to quit adderall, high expectations of oneself must be put to rest. Agreed?

[Cassie]

I think this goes for quitting any addiction. Addiction trains your brain to rely on the quick fix of a substance for any problem or stress, so you lose the capacity to delay gratification. You become impatient and unable to tolerate discomfort now in order to feel better later.

 

It was only by drastically lowering my expectations of recovery that I was able to quit for good. I expected to be be physically tired for a year, so when I had some energy after a few months it was like angels sang. Also, if I wanted to do stuff, I learned to use fear motivation because intrinsic motivation just aint there (i.e. if I wanted to exercise I would go to a yoga class that I couldn't leave or else I would risk people staring at me).

[JustinW]

Yes, in a perfect world LOL.  I haven't figured out how not to set high standards for myself yet.  I am upset with myself because I will probably end up with a "B" in one of my classes.  Critical thinking is sooooo difficult post adderall.

[Zerokewl]

This statement is so true for me.  

[Greg]

I think this goes for quitting any addiction. Addiction trains your brain to rely on the quick fix of a substance for any problem or stress, so you lose the capacity to delay gratification. You become impatient and unable to tolerate discomfort now in order to feel better later.

 

so true.

 

Yes, in a perfect world LOL.  I haven't figured out how not to set high standards for myself yet.  I am upset with myself because I will probably end up with a "B" in one of my classes.  Critical thinking is sooooo difficult post adderall.

 

I have headed into B-/C+ territory.

I will be lucky to make Bs this semester.

well get through it. 

 

This statement is so true for me.  

I really do feel like high expectations of oneself and quitting adderall are two opposing forces like the plus and negative signs on a battery.

[ThoughtCriminal]

I've quit adderall for 2 weeks now, after using on and off for roughly 10 years.  The premise of this thread worries me because I do not want to settle for a less perfect version of myself.  I am still highly motivated in improving in all aspects of my life, but find that my abilities to focus are suffering tremendously.  While I can read articles regularly and stimulate my curious mind throughout the day through various intellectual hobbies and channels, my ability to focus on work-related projects has taken a huge hit.  I am not willing to allow myself to be anything less than perfect when it comes to the sphere of my career, but I am also equally (if not more) unwilling to rely on adderall for the rest of my life to maintain a facade that it has helped me construct.  I am hoping that all the dust will settle in a matter of time, and that ultimately, I will be able to pick things back up at work without a continual reliance on this drug.

[Zerokewl]

Welcome dmedici, 

 

       Adderall is a liar. You are not perfect on Adderall, this mindset is the hardest thing to overcome. You are still early in recovery I'd advise you to read the articles on this site, read some old post and really try to understand what changes are happening in your brain.  The focus returns but it takes time and practice. 

[Jon]

Is having high expectations the same as seeking perfection? I think it is. We addicts seek perfection. Why do addicts and perfectionism go together? Because perfectionism is a compulsive behavior. And there is a pattern of progression. And the consequenses become more serious over time. It's another addiction!

 

The sooner we can choose to live in the middle, the sooner we can have the things that are really important to us like intamacy, peace of mind, joy or freedom from substances once and for all.

 

These ideas were taken from the book Overcoming perfectionism, finding the key to balance and self-acceptance, by Ann W. Smith. I'm still working on it too. I can see that it clearly isn't worth it, but it takes work to break free from the cycle. I recomend the book for the exercises it offers.

[JustinW]

Is having high expectations the same as seeking perfection? I think it is. We addicts seek perfection. Why do addicts and perfectionism go together? Because perfectionism is a compulsive behavior. And there is a pattern of progression. And the consequenses become more serious over time. It's another addiction!

 

The sooner we can choose to live in the middle, the sooner we can have the things that are really important to us like intamacy, peace of mind, joy or freedom from substances once and for all.

 

These ideas were taken from the book Overcoming perfectionism, finding the key to balance and self-acceptance, by Ann W. Smith. I'm still working on it too. I can see that it clearly isn't worth it, but it takes work to break free from the cycle. I recomend the book for the exercises it offers.

To bad we can't "Favorite" a post because this +1

[Cassie]

There's an Anna Quindlen quote I always liked, from her book Being Perfect:
 

"Someday, sometime, you will be sitting somewhere... And something bad will have happened: You will have lost someone you loved, or failed at something at which you badly wanted to succeed. And sitting there, you will fall into the center of yourself. You will look for some core to sustain you. And if you have been perfect all your life and have managed to meet all the expectations of your family, your friends, your community, your society, chances are excellent that there will be a black hole where that core ought to be."
 

I was a perfectionist when I was a kid, then grew out of it in my teens. Adderall made me regress to that perfectionist mindset. So, in my world, perfectionism is juvenile trait. It's the opposite of wisdom. It's something you naturally grow out of as you learn more about the world and broaden your horizons. Perfectionists are boring, judgmental people. I'd much rather be flawed and funny and self deprecating and open-minded. 

[hyper_critical]

Perfect is the opposite of good, and perfectionism is a symptom of self-loathing, in my experience. I strive for acceptance of who I am and where I'm at today. Coming from a very high achieving reformed seeker of perfection and self improvement. As a good friend put it, my MO was pretty much "if you don't feel like you fit in, you might as well try to be better than." Fat chance - no amount of "improvement" or achievement was enough to fill that void.

[Shambo]

@hyper_critical Damn honest friend! His M O of you hit home for me in a big way. I really like this thread.