10 Things I'm Greatful For

[Mcknz]

A big part of this process for me has been staying positive and hopeful and overcoming the guilt associated with letting people down. This list helps remind me to stay thankful, that all is not lost, and that my life is so much better now.

 

10 Things I am greatful for Post-Adderall

 

1) Random and I'm not sure if it is related but now, a month after quitting I am having/remembering dreams for the first time in I don't know how long. For my last year on adderall I can't remember recalling a single dream. Maybe something to do with not getting proper REM sleep. Anyway I know this isn't a huge thing, but I love remembering my dreams in the morning.

 

2) I sleep well, I sleep heavy. I look forward to my bed and I feel COMFORTABLE sometimes. I might still be sleeping way too much post adderall because I'm still adjusting but I've learned to embrace it when I can.

 

3). I feel clear, I know things are real, everything I experience and feel is what is really is.

 

4) I feel real sadness, not just apathy. I feel real happiness, not just high.

 

5) I wake up and enjoy my mornings. I contemplate, I enjoy nature, I can take my time for the first time in over a year.

 

6). My addiction to adderall brought me to this site, that has validated a lot of concerns and worries that I've had for so long but never listened to. I don't have to be guilty for being who I am. I am not alone.

 

7). I'm now forced to reevaluate my priorities and find what motivates me intrinsically. I have to find what inspires me. This is both very scary and very exciting.

 

8).I've gained more weight than I'm comfortable with, but I'm still healthy and my overall appearence is healthier. I have more color in my skin and I don't have huge bags under my eyes.

 

9) I get real urges to move, to run, or to dance. Exercise is sometimes thoroughly enjoyable to me again, not just something I do because I can't slow down.

 

10). I'm beginnning to connect with other people again. I didn't realize it until I quit but I lost my ability to empathize with people around me. I became selfish and disconnected. I wanted to care but it was hard for me to feel much of anything. Now I can relax, care about something other than a task, and truly listen to the people I care about. I don't think I ever really listened to anyone when I was high.

[Greg]

That is an awesome list! Thanks for sharing, your number three is my favorite -- everything is real, and not being seen through the haze of adderall. And what a haze it can be. Experiencing the world how it really is makes me trust my instincts and behavior so much more. I find it crazy that I thought adderall made me better when it was just making me deluded and cracked out and distracted with cravings.