Major life changes...including a lack of Adderall?

[greenpang]

Hello, all!

 

I'm considering weaning myself off of Adderall, and I've read through a lot of the content here today. I have some huge changes coming up in my life, and as it seems the withdrawal symptoms can be quite severe, there's really no great time for me to do this.

 

I just landed my dream job. In a different country. I move in a month.

 

And here's my story:

 

I didn't know I had ADHD until I was 26. I'm highly intelligent and somehow managed to be incredibly successful academically from the time I was a child, through high school, college, and beyond. Because of my stellar grades, I didn't raise any of the usual red flags, and I was never diagnosed.

 

I looked great on paper, but I was a disaster behind the scenes. Everything in my life was a disorganized mess. I lived with the constant stress of putting out fires and pulling things off at the last minute. It wasn't until I started dating my husband that I realized this wasn't normal. After we'd lived together for awhile, my husband (then-boyfriend) had just about had enough of my impossibly disorganized way of living, and I considered that something might be wrong with me.

 

I saw psychologists and psychiatrists and was immediately diagnosed with ADHD. I tried Ritalin but wasn't a fan and then switched to Adderall. For the past 2.5 years, I've been taking 30mg of Adderall XR per day (aside from Saturdays, when I take a "holiday" by dropping down to 20mg). In addition to the Adderall, I've gone to regular talk-therapy sessions and done extensive work on myself to slowly change my old habits into a more sustainable way of living.

 

I still wouldn't say I'm 100% where I'd like to be, but I'm close. I've come a long, long way from where I was 2.5 years ago. It wasn't the Adderall alone; I had to do a lot of work on myself along the way and viewed Adderall as simply a tool to facilitate my progress.

 

Now my life is in order, I have an amazing and supportive husband (who saw me through the worst of my ADHD), and I got my dream job. My husband and I have wanted to move internationally for quite some time, and now that I have an international position, we can actually get visas.

 

We're both excited and have spent the past two months doing a great deal of work to prepare for this big move. Preparing for this move has been quite an ordeal and has been a full-time job for both of us, and it's not over yet. We still have a lot to do in the next 30 days before we move, and I also have a lot to do to wrap up all of my work in my current position. (And we'll be going on vacation for a week.)

 

So why would I ever stop taking Adderall now? As it turns out, Adderall is not prescribed at all in our new country and will be extremely difficult or impossible to acquire. I started trying to figure out what I will do and considered the possibility of just not taking Adderall anymore.

 

I think Adderall has been a great help in allowing me to overcome a lot of my negative ADHD tendencies and establish better habits over the past 2.5 years. But ideally, I'd love to have this life without Adderall, and maybe the lack of availability of Adderall in my new country is as good a reason as any?

 

If I'm going to do this, I think I should do it now so I can deal with the bulk of the withdrawal before I move. (I would hate to start my new job so depressed and fatigued!) Of course, being depressed and fatigued during my last month here in the US is not great timing either, considering all I have on my plate, but it seems better than the alternative.

 

I could very easily do the weaning-off method appropriately (I have never abused my Adderall, I don't have an addictive personality, and I'm very disciplined), so that may be the best option for me. But I'd kinda rather try to get all of the uncomfortableness out of the way before I move. I also don't want to be miserable for our vacation, which starts in two weeks.

 

Thanks for reading, and I appreciate any thoughts/suggestions for my circumstances.

[JustinW]

I understand how adderall can be a good tool to help us ADHDers get our crap together.  My intelligence level also masked my symptoms growing up.  I weaned off on my second attempt to quit and ended it while I was on vacation.  Weaning really just prolonged the misery for me and looking back I realize that I experienced the same long-term (3 - 5 month) withdrawal symptoms when I quit cold turkey and I should have just stuck it out.  Best of luck on your international move, it sounds like an awesome opportunity!

[greenpang]

I understand how adderall can be a good tool to help us ADHDers get our crap together.  My intelligence level also masked my symptoms growing up.  I weaned off on my second attempt to quit and ended it while I was on vacation.  Weaning really just prolonged the misery for me and looking back I realize that I experienced the same long-term (3 - 5 month) withdrawal symptoms when I quit cold turkey and I should have just stuck it out.  Best of luck on your international move, it sounds like an awesome opportunity!

 

Thanks!

 

The long-term withdrawal symptoms worry me because it sounds like a terrible way to start a new job in a new place. I'd much rather get that all out of the way now, but if my symptoms last as long as yours, I don't have enough time. I also don't know for sure that going off Adderall is the right choice for me -- I don't know whether I'll be able to maintain at least a good portion of my better habits; I definitely can't go back to the full-blown ADHD mess life for the sake of my husband's sanity.

 

In any event, I guess I'm playing around with aggressively lower doses at the moment and seeing how that goes to start. Usually I take 30mg everyday aside from Saturdays (when I drop down to 20mg), but I yesterday I kept my Sunday dosage also at 20mg, and today I dropped down to 10mg. So far I haven't even noticed the slightest difference...?

 

This morning I went to EarthFare and bought lots of healthy vitamin-rich foods. I just ate a big healthy lunch and feel focused and alert despite the drop to 10mg today.

[JustinW]

Adderall stays in your system for a while so you may not notice the difference for 1 week to 1 month depending on how you metabolize it.