maru22 Posted July 25, 2014 Report Share Posted July 25, 2014 Hello! I've recently found myself in a relationship with an adderall addict. Her dosage is out of this world (more than 150mg a day). I'm not sure that she considers it a problem, but I know her life will be better if without it, or at least with a reduced dosage. I've found a lot of "help, I'm addicted" type posts out there but I was hoping to find someone who's successfully come back to "normal" from a very high dosage. If you're willing, I'd love to just ask you some questions and maybe get your input on how I should approach the situation. It's very delicate, especially since it's not my addiction... Thanks for hearing me out. - M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted July 26, 2014 Report Share Posted July 26, 2014 This is just my experience but what planted the seed in my mind to quit was a respected friend asking me the following questions (on several occassions): - Do you still take adderall? - What does it do for you? - Why do you feel you need it? - Are you on it right now? (Whether I said yes or no she nodded and said, "I can tell") My fiance's comments never helped because he was too close to the situation - his comments were too situation specific and I always got defensive. My friend's questions/comments were neutral and invited self reflection. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted July 26, 2014 Report Share Posted July 26, 2014 Hello! I'm glad you found this site-- there's lots of support here-- and I think your lady is lucky to have you! There's not much you can do unless and until she WANTS to quit. Does she want to? To answer your question more directly, I have never heard of anyone coming back to moderation (or taking as prescribed, or even reasonable dosages) after crossing the line of abuse. After taking a dosage such as 150 mg/day, nothing less than that will feel like it works for her. That's why people tend to progressively increase their dosage, and even after a long time off they don't tend to decrease it. In my case here's how it went: 2001-2004: 10-30 mg/day 2009-2010: 30 mg/day --> 45 mg/day (gradual increase) 2011- late 2012: 45 mg/day --> 80 mg/day (another gradual increase) In my case at least, every time I increased it, my brain would adjust instantly and I could never turn back. Maybe your gf is the exception, but most people seem to fit this pattern. She might be a candidate for a taper if she wants to quit, but I don't know. I like what Cassie said-- asking those questions might be a good approach. I am sorry I don't have better news for you. But in the end, a habit like that is unsustainable and I imagine she'll have to quit eventually. Good luck to you!!! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted July 26, 2014 Report Share Posted July 26, 2014 Hello! I'm glad you found this site-- there's lots of support here-- and I think your lady is lucky to have you! There's not much you can do unless and until she WANTS to quit. Does she want to? To answer your question more directly, I have never heard of anyone coming back to moderation (or taking as prescribed, or even reasonable dosages) after crossing the line of abuse. After taking a dosage such as 150 mg/day, nothing less than that will feel like it works for her. That's why people tend to progressively increase their dosage, and even after a long time off they don't tend to decrease it. In my case here's how it went: 2001-2004: 10-30 mg/day 2009-2010: 30 mg/day --> 45 mg/day (gradual increase) 2011- late 2012: 45 mg/day --> 80 mg/day (another gradual increase) In my case at least, every time I increased it, my brain would adjust instantly and I could never turn back. Maybe your gf is the exception, but most people seem to fit this pattern. She might be a candidate for a taper if she wants to quit, but I don't know. I like what Cassie said-- asking those questions might be a good approach. I am sorry I don't have better news for you. But in the end, a habit like that is unsustainable and I imagine she'll have to quit eventually. Good luck to you!!! This is such good advice it deserves to be quoted again. I would have told you the same thing but I didn't have the time to create such a well developed post like Occasional just did. And to add to Cassie's comment - people have to quit for themselves and their own reasons. If she is not ready to quit then your efforts to convince her to quit will be perceived as "nagging". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maru22 Posted July 27, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 Thanks very much for your responses. I think you guys have confirmed my worry, which is that anything I directly say is going to perceived as nagging, and worse it could even have the opposite effect that I'm hoping for. I know that she won't quit unless she's ready to. It's frustrating for me because I feel like I can't really do anything to help, other than wait. @cassie's suggestion is a good one, although I'm closer to the fiancee than friend role... @occasional01, so to be sure I understand, you're saying that her only choice is probably to quit cold-turkey, rather than try to continue with a reasonable dose? How do you guys think I should treat the subject of the abuse? Should I just accept it and support her, no matter how much she wishes to do? (obviously I'm not going to encourage her or enable her, but I won't complain about it). Or, should I tell her I think she's doing too much?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted July 27, 2014 Report Share Posted July 27, 2014 Hey maru, I'll try to think about ways you might approach it to express your concerns..... this has to be done very delicately. She probably thinks she needs adderall. She might see it as part of her identity. It might be like a best friend to her. She might feel judged depending on how you say it. I know I would. I mean, on the rare occasion a loved one questions why I 'need' klonopin or antidepressants, I feel really judged and sad, like it messes with my self esteem somehow. And I'm not even abusing those. I dunno, I think that what we put into our bodies can be a really sensitive subject. Most likely, she'll need to quit cold turkey. When I said she might be able to taper, I meant she might be able to reduce her dosage day by day until she's at zero. To be honest I doubt it though. Most people don't have that kind of willpower. In any case she is not going to be able to drop from 150 mg/day to a stable consistent lower dosage and stay there. At this point, it's pretty much all or nothing. That's what I've learned, anyway, after seeing hundreds of people come through this forum. Sort of like in AA. Once you're at that point, you don't get to drink in moderation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMist Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Hello! I'm glad you found this site-- there's lots of support here-- and I think your lady is lucky to have you! There's not much you can do unless and until she WANTS to quit. Does she want to? To answer your question more directly, I have never heard of anyone coming back to moderation (or taking as prescribed, or even reasonable dosages) after crossing the line of abuse. After taking a dosage such as 150 mg/day, nothing less than that will feel like it works for her. That's why people tend to progressively increase their dosage, and even after a long time off they don't tend to decrease it. In my case here's how it went: 2001-2004: 10-30 mg/day 2009-2010: 30 mg/day --> 45 mg/day (gradual increase) 2011- late 2012: 45 mg/day --> 80 mg/day (another gradual increase) In my case at least, every time I increased it, my brain would adjust instantly and I could never turn back. Maybe your gf is the exception, but most people seem to fit this pattern. She might be a candidate for a taper if she wants to quit, but I don't know. I like what Cassie said-- asking those questions might be a good approach. I am sorry I don't have better news for you. But in the end, a habit like that is unsustainable and I imagine she'll have to quit eventually. Good luck to you!!! very nice advice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maru22 Posted July 28, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Yea, that's incredibly insightful, thank you. I can't imagine how much willpower is required to quit cold turkey. I guess the best I can do at this point is support her as much as I can if/when she decides to quit. Is it safe to go from 150-180mg/day to 0 immediately? I imagine it's going to be hellish... but are you guys aware of long-term risks? Thanks again for your input occasional01 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shambo Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 I've never had any health issues from stopping high doses cold turkey. I don't recall ever hearing of any dangers of stopping cold turkey, health wise. I've had quits that have been fairly smooth. And I've had quits that felt like the 7th realm of hell. I think it's mostly determined by my attitude about quitting. And Wellbutrin has helped curb excessive sleeping and depression that can come when you first quit. I have a degree in quitting but a knack for relapsing. Good luck to you. I hope she hears you and y'all get a happy ending. It can take a few attempts before quitting sticks. As long as she keeps getting back up and trying after failure, she will succeed. "Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming!:)"-Dory Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHereNow Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 Well the good news is that a cold turkey quit (or a very fast taper) can be easier than a gradual taper because its not as much of a tease. Theres no temptation to just go back to the high dose. With cold turkey you're done--- you're free. She might have experience already with going from that dosage to zero. She must already have run out of her supply early, so I bet she knows what early withdrawals are like.... not fun! She will definitely need your love and support when and if she decides to quit.... Also, I was just thinking. I wrote a post a few weeks ago about "adding, not subtracting" as an approach to quitting, and it's helping me a lot. Instead of approaching her about removing adderall from her life, maybe you could try adding a whole bunch of good things to her life and to your interactions, without even mentioning adderall? To subtly interrupt her habit by filling whatever vacuum she's trying to fill, with good things instead of poison. It won't stop her, but it could help you at least enjoy more time with HER. And help her see, later on, that there's more to her and her life than just adderall. I remember, my ex would do this for me to an extent, even though she was also an enabler in some ways. She would make delicious easy-to-eat meals (soft, comfort foods) that I could actually swallow after a long adderall day. And then she wouldn't be offended when I could only eat a small plate. It would do me a world of good! It would help me to put food in my body, instead of what I would have gone for instead: more pills, and/or alcohol. Or she would set up fun, surprise activities for us to do together. Things that would make me naturally not want adderall, or that would at least make me not want to take such a high dose. Just some suggestions for a subtle yet proactive approach that's not nagging, but that's completely loving and supportive and that might help build a life foundation that could help her future quit, when/if she eventually decides to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zerokewl Posted July 28, 2014 Report Share Posted July 28, 2014 going to zero on a high dose. Prepare the following, pyjamas, blankets and pillows. She will be sleepy. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maru22 Posted July 29, 2014 Author Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 Sleepy sounds pretty good, I hope she doesn't go through the 7th layer of hell -.- Occasional, I like your *adding* mentality so much that I'm definitely going to go that route. I've been wanting to improve my cooking lately anyways haha, so I'll focus on keeping her healthy and finding some new hobbies / activities that we both enjoy. - M Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Perullo Posted July 29, 2014 Report Share Posted July 29, 2014 Read up on some of the articles on this site. Pick some favorites, and show them to her, letting her know that it would mean the world to you if she checked them out. Gauge her interest a bit. If she isn't moved by any of this stuff, then it probably isn't her time. There's really not much else you can do except to try to expose her to all the information she needs. Like others have said before, it's gotta be her choice or it just plain won't happen. If she chooses not to quit, then you have to decide what that means to you - is it worth being with a junkie? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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