Holiday Season

[mila490]

Happy Holidays everyone! I think this season can be difficult for many of us who have dealt with adderall dependency and quitting, maybe in addition to other addictions.

This is my first time back to my hometown since I've been off of adderall, so it's been pretty triggering to be back in my room at my parents' house and in the same setting when I was on it everyday and felt miserable, trapped, and unable to quit. This is vain, but I also just got back from shopping and was disappointed when I couldn't buy everything in the smaller sizes that I wore when I was at my thinnest on adderall. And of course it's the holidays and I'm eating more treats while visiting with family, so I feel a bit triggered and panicked. I still fight that voice at the back of my mind saying, "It's okay, you can just go back on adderall if you need to!" Thankfully I know how far I've come off of it, but those moments of temptation continue to startle me.

Just wanted to share my experience and say I'm thinking of you all. I hope you're all at peace and able to enjoy the holiday season without distractions or worries. And if you're struggling, please know that you aren't the only one and that you can come here to vent or for support.