I want to QUIT ADDERALL

[pdxpaul79]

Hello Everyone.

 

   Not sure where to start but i was just goggling i want to quit adderall and it brought me here. I'm a 35 yr old father of 2 beautiful kids and in good health. I have been on adderall since july of 2014 and i see myself already abusing it. I was prescribed 40 mg a day but im finding myself taking up to 80 mg to get through my day with work and when i have my kids which i know is an excuse. It makes me feel superman and that i can do anything. I had always heard about it then i had a friend that was prescribed it and we were out drinking and he had giving me one but that night he was telling me that i was totally and person with ADHD he said i had all the symptoms. So a few months later i was at a job and i guy i worked with said he was ADHD and that you have all the symptoms and he asked if i wanted one and i took it. I wish i never did. The way it made me feel was just amazing. I"m a person who get's excited easily just flips out always being forgetful among other things. So i decided to look up symptoms of ADHD and when i did i was like i have everyone of them. So i made the decision to go to a doctor and she diagnosed me with ADHD. She asked me questions and one was do i have an addictive personality and i said i dont think so and i knew fairly well that i did. All i could think about was getting adderall. So she prescribed me the adderall. I was good for a few months taking what i was supposed to but it wasnt long that i started taking more and more. Like i would run out a week before my refill  then 2 weeks short of my refill. I have to add that my son was diagnosed with ADHD and i would ask his mom if i could get a could of his to get me through till i get my refill and would feel like the biggest piece of crap taking them but all i could think was i need them. But now i know i'm hooked and i REALLY want to QUIT. Life sucks now i feel like a zombie. I'm a person who would get up at 345 in the morning and go work out before work i was a work out junkie i'm not that person anymore. I want to be that again. I'm scared to tell my girlfriend my family what i have been doing. All i know is that i want to Stop. There was one time when i had run out and i was clean for 2 weeks i was working out i felt amazing and i told myself i'm done with it i'm not going to get my refill but as it came closer to when i could get my refill i kept telling myself you don't need it but i was week and i did it. I'm just on a bad spiral. There is nothing bad about my life. I life how my life is now with work and my family. So i;m not really sure why the hell i'm so addicted to this drug. If there is anyone with advise i would really love to hear it.            

[IFIHADKNOWN]

Hi pdxpaul79:

 

It seems like the real good news here is that you have only been taking Adderall for a few months - that should make it easier to stop taking it.  Personally, I am in the exact same spot in life as you (age, children, job, etc..) and I took Addy for just shy of two years.  Now that I know how dangerous the drug can be - I suggest that anyone run (not walk) from it.  Youy should keep an eye out for increased irritability (after about 1.5 years at 45 MG I started to notice that in myself).

 

I went off Adderall cold turkey and I have been clean for about 3.5 months.  Cold turkey was definietly harder but I was concerned about having any kind of access to the drug.  The easiest way is to wein off slowly but that requires a lot of discipline (I would still recommend tappering off the drug if possible).  For me, the hardest part has been dealing with the lack of energy and motivation.  While I am a little bit better know, I still have a long way to go.

 

My best advice to you is be honest about the drug with your employer and friends.  Everyone needs to understand that stuff like this happens in life to good people and that you are one of many who have tried this medication.   My employer alllowed me to go on short-term disability for the first two months.  I could have stayed on disability longer but I forced myself back to work.  All of my friends and family have been understanding and they know why I have not be contacting them and my wife understands why I have not been tending to home projects.  They all understand that I will be back to my old self at some point, it just takes time.

 

To get a clean break, I voluntarily checked myself into a local hospital for 3 days.  When I was in the hospital they prescribed Wellbutrin (but it made me more tired).  I have since found that Guarana pills (100 MG of caffine), combined with Sam-e and St. John's Wort (both to ward against depression), vitamins B-6 and B-12 have helped the most.  All can be purchased at any vitamin store.  I also eat much healthier and shoot for 30 minutes of carido a day (the days I fail to do cardio are much harder to make it through).  I take the Guarana pills about 3 to 4 times a day and the Sam-e about the same.  

 

In the end, be honest with everyone around you.  You should not feel ashamed or embarrased in any way.  You are just a man trying to do the best for your family.  Once it is out in the open, it is so much easier to deal with.  

 

Best of luck - please update us and let us know how it goes.

[mila490]

 But now i know i'm hooked and i REALLY want to QUIT. Life sucks now i feel like a zombie. I'm a person who would get up at 345 in the morning and go work out before work i was a work out junkie i'm not that person anymore. I want to be that again. I'm scared to tell my girlfriend my family what i have been doing. All i know is that i want to Stop.

Hi there! Welcome to the site. Coming here and reading the stories and knowing what to expect is a good first step. In order to successfully quit, you'll have to constantly remind yourself of your words above. By continuing to take adderall - whether or not you believe you have ADHD or not - you will only feel worse and worse about yourself, since you've identified the negative effects adderall has on your life. You say you're a zombie, that you want to stop, and that you want your old self back. You'll need to go through some crappy times where you'll likely feel hungover and unmotivated, but they are worth it for the peace that comes with recovery.

Here are a few tips:

1. Make a plan for quitting- do you have a long weekend or some kind of lull at work that will ease the transition? If you're stressed out right from the start, you'll likely give up.

2. Read the stories and tips on this site and the forums so you know what to expect.

3. Recognize and accept that you WON'T feel that revved up adderall high no matter how many vitamins you take or energy drinks you consume.

4. Write out a list of all the negatives of adderall. Look at it as often as you need to in order to stay on track.

5. Track your number of days clean- I found the Streaks app to be very helpful. I check off each day clean. It's saved me multiple times when I've had the phone in my hand to call the dr. for a prescription. I look at all the days added up and realize that I fought for every day clean and I'd hate to start over from day 1.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

[pdxpaul79]

Hey everyone

I just read your replies and thank you so much for replying. I was really bad yesterday and disgusted with myself and was scared to tell anyone and I found this website. But after reading a lot of the people's stories I built up some courage and I came clean to my girlfriend that I have been with for 2 yrs and has been with me since I started this crap. I told her everything from lying about running out of my scipt to abusing it to taking my sons. She was amazing. She said she kinda had an idea but that she could see that the adderall was helping me. I told her it did but that I was abusing it and I knew if I didn't quit it would ruin us and my life. After I came clean I felt like this huge load of guilt and everything that goes with fall off my shoulders it felt amazing. So after a long talk she took my hand then she grabed my bottle of pills we went to the bathroom and she looked me in the face and said to me if you are read to quit here's the bottle. I grabed the bottle and dumped it. I did it. So as of right now im almost 1 day clean. I know its gonna be hard the next couple weeks but im gonna give this 200%.

[IFIHADKNOWN]

Wow - great for you!!  I felt the same way as you after reading the stories on this forum for the first time.  This Adderall stuff is extremely alluring and easily results in most everyone taking more than prescribed or trying to obtain it from other sources.  There is truly no shame in it.  

 

Best of luck of the next few months.  If I can be of any help, don't hesitate to send me a Private Message.  I am still figuring withdrawal out myself - but if I can help in anyway, I would be happy too.

 

Take care!