Back on the path

[Relentless Souldier]

Hey Everyone!

 

This monday will mark exactly one month since I have quiet adderall. 

 

I found this site a few weeks before I quit, and it was one of the many inspirations that lead me to my decision to eliminate adderall from my lifestyle completely. After I quit, I vowed to return to this message board and share my message to someone who may need it. 

 

I am a 21 year old male college student, and I stared taking adderall when I was a sophomore in high school about the age of 15-16. The first time I took adderall, one of my classmates in gym class offered me one and I made the decision to take it. One of the worst decisions i have ever made in my life (a life full of terrible decisions). Ill never forget the feeling, I felt like i was invincible, like i could talk to anyone in the world and they would absolutely adore me. I felt for the first time that I was me. Very very scary reminiscing. The sad thing is everyone already loved me for who I was, and adderall gave me the feeling that I could control people and manipulate them to believe that I was someone much greater than the person I was. The feeling that I was greater than the people I tried to manipulate. This feeling of power and control, would ultimately lead to my demise. A belief that i was greater than everyone else alienated myself from everyone, leading me into a terrible state of loneliness and depression. I now understand, that it is the love, trust, respect, and the ability to RELATE and UNDERSTAND my fellow human being that drives my innermost being to achieve a life of fulfillment. Adderall completely takes away your ability to relate to people, as the average person does not have amphetamines pumping through there neurons to get through their day. After a month I have finally realized this, and while this month has been ONE of the most difficult in my life, I finally feel as if I'm back on my path to personal fulfillment. 

 

I just wanted to put a brief introduction on here, I will be back to tell you more of my story. A story that involves two near death experiences, destruction of relationships with my family and friends, failure and school and social life, but most importantly the story of redemption and the path to enlightenment. 

 

God bless you all and know that I was on this board one day with no hope for a future, until i realized that my destiny was in my hands, and it all started with quitting adderall. 

 

 

 

 

[Zerokewl]

welcome to the forum.

[IMSTAS]

First-congratulations to you! It is an empowering feeling to take back control of your life. One of the things I found to be a challenge was to stop mourning for the years I lost due to adderall abuse and it sounds like you have a good handle on that. This past November was a year for me and I felt the same way you did about coming back to the site to share my experience and to hopefully provide someone who is struggling with a spark of hope. I find that sharing the path of your recovery and journaling about it helps you to document your progress-in 3 months, 9 months, a year from now you'll be amazed by how much you continue to grow.

[IFIHADKNOWN]

Way to go!  Having only been off of Adderall for about 5 months myself, I have quickly realized how important it is to truly appreciate and celebrate ever goal you obtain.   1 month, 2 month, 3 month, etc..  Everyday without that beast in our lifes is a major accomplishment.  Keep it up and be sure to ask for help if you feel like you relapsing.  I found the assistance I gained from others to be very powerful.  Stay strong!