Searchingsoul9 Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 I am hoping some old users are on here. Pretty sure i've been sober over a year, i recall two halloweens passing with me being sober. A lot has changed. i moved to nyc, got a new job, left my childhood home. And here i am craving adderall. I have even had thoughts of using again. Finding a new psychiatrist and getting a monthly supply. I'll be honest. I think, 'ill just get a skript and use on weekends;' just like i did before. I know if i got a supply i would use daily. I have not gotten sober. I mean, i drink pretty much every night, and/or i smoke weed. Still abusing cigarettes. So my addict mind tells me...if i am doing all of this shit already, why not add adderall back to the mix? Confused. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cassie Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Read some of the relapse stories on this site. No one ever said "I'm so glad I went back on adderall. I'm not addicted anymore." It's normal to have cravings. A year is not that long. Give it another year, then another. Your brain will let go - it takes time and distance. I went to some Smart recovery meeting when I had bad cravings st 18 mos. I needed to remind myself that I was an addict. I'm still on this site 3.5 years later so I don't forget and do something I'd regret. As for your other habits, maybe just tackle one at a time, if you want to quit. Again - one year sober from a drug is not that long. Remember this. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Read some of your old posts you made a couple of years ago - they are all still here. You really struggled but you fought the good fight and YOU WON! Why give all that up now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Don't do it!!! don't even think about it! Just smash all those thoughts about relapsing. Now. 1 year clean time is too much to toss away and you do NOT want to lose that clean time! You earned your clean time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Read some of the relapse stories on this site. No one ever said "I'm so glad I went back on adderall. I'm not addicted anymore." It's normal to have cravings. A year is not that long. Give it another year, then another. Your brain will let go - it takes time and distance. I went to some Smart recovery meeting when I had bad cravings st 18 mos. I needed to remind myself that I was an addict. I'm still on this site 3.5 years later so I don't forget and do something I'd regret. As for your other habits, maybe just tackle one at a time, if you want to quit. Again - one year sober from a drug is not that long. Remember this. Thank you. I know you're right. I honestly don't even think i have the energy in me to seek out a new psychiatrist and deal with all of that bullshit. The reason this thought came into my mind is because i was considering getting on anti anxiety meds. I told myself i'd give it a year and if my anxiety was still bad i'd seek help, then when i thought about pills my mind led me to trying to get adderall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted July 10, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 Read some of your old posts you made a couple of years ago - they are all still here. You really struggled but you fought the good fight and YOU WON! Why give all that up now? That's a good idea, thank you. I will go through them later today. I know i don't want to deal with the crazy highs and lows of adderall abuse. It's just i am going through some messed up shit in my life at the moment and i am craving an escape...when in reality i could escape my current situation by just ending this relationship. Sorry, that sounds cryptic. I just need to evaluate my life and my choices and make the right choice rather than finding an escape through drugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouedis Posted July 10, 2015 Report Share Posted July 10, 2015 You don't need the adderall for whatever reason it is you stated/or may be. What you need is companionship so that you're not so dependent on a certain substance. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Searchingsoul9 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Report Share Posted July 11, 2015 You don't need the adderall for whatever reason it is you stated/or may be. What you need is companionship so that you're not so dependent on a certain substance.eYou're very correct. I don't have anyone as of recently. I moved to NYC and started a new job. I left my best friend behind and have no one but myself and my aquaintences at work Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nouedis Posted July 22, 2015 Report Share Posted July 22, 2015 Well, don't worry about it right now. All will fall into your lap, little by little. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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