Major life change... feeling sad

[bluemoon]

Two days short of my 6 month mark here... I finally broke things off with my boyfriend last night. I had been thinking about it for a long time but just kept putting it off. Mostly in fear of what comes next in my life, and I was also worried that such a major life change could trigger a relapse. I just figured I'd deal with it later... but it came to a point where I couldn't drag the relationship on any longer. I don't see a future and I didn't want to keep wasting each others time. It was really hard, but I know it is the right thing and the best thing. Even though I know it was for the best, I am feeling really, really low right now... I can't stop crying. I really hope this doesn't trigger thoughts of relapse or something. I've come so far and wouldn't ever want to throw it all away. I'm not actually thinking about relapsing or anything, I just wish this pain would go away.

[LILTEX41]

Here is a big hug blue moon!!!  I'm having a rough time right now too in this area of my life if that makes you feel any less alone.  It's not easy letting go, but there comes a point like you said, you just know it is the right choice to make.  I just keep telling myself how I overcame so many previous relationships in the past and the hurt is temporary.  I know it won't last forever.  I find it really encouraging though when I look back over the course of my clean time and seeing different obstacles I overcame without turning back to alcohol/drugs.  It will just make us stronger in the end.  You are so close to 6 months!!  That's awesome!  

 

Thinking of you and sending love!

[EstherEmily]

I'm also six months clean.

I can't imagine how hard a breakup would be right now, so my thoughts and prayers are with you!

I stopped when I became pregnant, so I, too, have fears of relapsing once the baby is here. I told my husband of he ever finds out I'm taking Adderall again to make me choose between rehab or him and our daughter. I'm trying to make sure I'll be strong enough to never touch this crap again!

[StartingOver3]

Me getting dumped was my wake-up call to finally quit abusing adderall. It was SUPER hard to cope through this time. Make sure you invest in family and friends right now. Share what you are going through with as many close people as possible. I haven't read your entire story, so I am not sure about the rest of the picture concerning your recovery. I can assure you, family, a few tight friends, and coming to this website pulled me through the darkest hell of my life. Also, I am not sure if you are spiritual, but the most radical change for me was when I found Jesus Christ. I was an atheist for the better part of my life, and using fueled that lie even more. Once I found Jesus, my life got flipped turned upside down (Fresh Prince of Bel Air...lol) He is my rock, my foundation.. He holds me in His hands, and I cannot get enough of Him. The grace and love He offers are an endless spring, His love does not run dry. Not trying to preach to you or anyone right now, I am just sharing the one endless truth and hope that I FINALLY discovered. I am really not sure why He didn't just give up on me. I was a liar, addict, alcoholic, cheater, sleeze-ball before He came into my life, now everything is different. Feel free to message me if you need more information about anything I just typed, or feel free to skim right over this response. In conclusion, I am proud of you for staying clean for almost 6 months. That is a HUGE accomplishment, and you are well on your way to the most beautiful life imaginable. Stay the course, do not lose hope!!! You've got this!!!