Two Year Check In

[clinx]

Hey everyone! 

 

First, I'm warning that this post might be a little long (sorry), but wanted to give an update.

Second, want to apologize for not visiting the site more often. I felt like it was a crucial time in my life to avoid anything that could trigger me, and that included coming here (just in case). The sad truth is that the bad symptoms of adderall actually trigger me significantly. 

 

Anyway, I finally made it to two years completely free of adderall. Since I quit, I finished my chemistry degree (with good grades might I add), and am living a pretty healthy lifestyle. So what is the difference in a another year? After one year of being sober, I felt like I still really just wanted to dwell on the "glorious" moments of being on the drug and miss all the confidence and energy I had while taking it. Not gonna lie, though, I still struggle to find energy to get through the day sometimes, but it's worth it. I started weight training and wondered why I'd ever need to take adderall again-- not that I ever needed it. Though I felt like I was becoming a better person, everything was actually falling apart. After the one year mark, I still had a lot of growing to do.

 

After two years, I'm beginning to forget what I felt like on adderall. I used to reminisce the "alive" feeling my brain felt while on it, but now it's really hard to remember. Part of this scares me, but mostly I'm grateful to FINALLY feel like I'm leaving that part of my past behind. Sometimes I see people who I'm certain are taking stimulants, and part of me wants to be jealous, but I remember how long it took me to get here and I wouldn't jeopardize that for anything. I feel good, generally. I feel accomplished. I achieved many, many things these past two years all by myself! I never felt that kind of accomplishment on adderall. I think I really needed to graduate in order to prove to myself that I can do things apart from the drug. And do them really well! After graduation, I'm taking a BREAK. Many people are pushing me to get a job, but I don't think they realize I need some time off. I guess after the two year mark, that's what I'm really learning. To take it slow and easy on myself, and forget what other people might think. I feel like I keep pressuring myself to get all of these things done to prove to people that I'm not actually a lazy slob, but HEY, if my body is tired, I should give it a rest. That doesn't make me a lazy slob. 

 

So if there are any of you who who are under the two year mark, keep fighting because getting here (even though everyone's timeline will be different) is rewarding and encouraging. Adderall recovery is a long road, but I'm finally feeling the reward. Be kind to yourself. Quitting this drug is one of the hardest things anyone could ever experience, so do what you need to to stay encouraged (as long as it's healthy  ). 

 

To those of you who are past the two year mark, thank you for being an encouragement to me and many others. I remember reading posts of those who made it to the two years and it gave me hope. Now that I'm here, I can really understand what you were going through.

 

As I do in every post I make, I must attribute my success to the Lord Jesus-- without Him I wouldn't have made it through the first year, and definitely not the second!

 

Stay strong everyone!

[LILTEX41]

So great!!!  Happy for you!!!!  Congrats on 2 years!!!!!!

[clinx]

Thank you! So much! 💗