What's a normal amount of focus?

[eckoangel]

I quit adderall 10 days ago! I've been on it since I was 15 and I'm 30 now. Unfortunately, I didn't take many days off, maybe 20 days per year so I feel like my brain is really messed up. I'm worried I wont be able to heal it. Can my brain heal and be normal? 

 

I am having lots of problems since quitting but some really good stuff too. Right now, I'm super bloated/constipated and not able to focus on my business much at all. 

 

Honestly, I pretty much don't have a concept of what life is like not on drugs/speed. I'm not sure how much focus a normal person has and what I should be expecting for myself in the long run, if that makes sense. Were you able to regain focus? I'd love if anyone could share what their focus is like now vs when on Adderall. 

 

On the upside, I'm not feeling like a zombie. I laughed a bunch yesterday and actually felt it. It's been so long, I forgot what that felt like. Since my use started as a teen and I was only taking my prescribed dose, I always associated my muted emotions with getting older and becoming an adult and not the Adderall. Now, I'm realizing that I probably could have had a much different life. I'm not even sure who I am now and it's liberating but also kind of scary.

 

I'm also finding myself angry for the first time that my parents put me on this stuff as a teen but I also know that I have control of my life and could have quit years ago. 

[flow3]

I just hit the 1yr mark a few days ago and still have problems focusing. Was in a total fog earlier on in the process. I have had pretty bad ADD for as long as I can remember but can remember that it was definitely manageable, not always enjoyable, but manageable.

We have to train our body's to function without this drug. The longer you go without it, the easier it gets. You will reach many moments when you're frustrated as hell with how you are feeling and will want to give up... keep pushing forward. It will get easier and your brain will absolutely heal with time.

Somewhere in the forum there's a 30 and a 60 day challenge. You post your day count whenever you feel like it. There were times when I'd do it daily when I was really struggling because it really helped hold me accountable. The first 60 days felt like yrs for me but after that it really started going by much more quickly. Before you know it, you'll be 6 months clean and living life without this BS drug that. O way in hell should even be legal in my opinion.

Good luck and hang in there! Don't give up... I promise you that you'll be glad you didn't. You already have 10 days under your belt and for a 15yr habit/addiction that's a huge accomplishment! Congratulations!!

[BeHereNow]

Hi eckoangel!   

 

First of all, HUGE congrats to you for making this amazing decision and for going 10 days!   I'm so happy to hear you're starting to feel emotions again.  There's a chance that you'll be feeling even more intense emotions, good and bad, for the first 6 months or so.  Sometimes the roller coaster is rough, but at least you are ALIVE again!  It sounds like you're doing really well!  I will warn you that depression is often a part of recovery but DO NOT let that stop you!!!  Press on!!!!  You got this!!

 

I don't think there is any such thing as a "normal" amount of focus.  Everyone has a different attention span.  So there are many different non-adderall methods of focusing.  Your ability to focus will keep growing as you progress in your quit. It is a gradual process, so you need to accept that for a little while your focus and motivation levels will be sub-par.   It's okay.  

 

Your brain will heal.  There's no return to the pre-adderall state (which would be childhood anyway), but there's progress towards a NEW YOU!!!   Unfortunately, I don't think anyone knows if the brain fully heals from long term adderall use/abuse.    We are the lab rats.   But I can tell you that in my almost 4 years clean, I have made tremendous progress. 

 

Through trial and error I've come across some focus techniques:

 

-Pomodoros (25 minutes on, 5 minutes off, with a longer break after a couple/few sets).... Some people swear by this, but it's not for me (interrupts my flow!)

-Some people work for one hour on, one hour off, and alternate this for the day.  It helps your brain associate work with reward.  I like this one.

-Sometimes I'll work for 2-3 hour chunks.  This was not possible in early recovery.

-Mainly, I've learned that my brain needs breaks.  On adderall I didn't take them.  Now, I do, and it helps.

-Set a reasonable goal, with a reasonable time frame, and get it done!

-Break down big projects into smaller pieces, and focus just on those pieces.  (I am still working on this one.)

-Figure out what time of day your mind is most clear, and set out to work during that time.

-Accept that some days will be binge-watching TV in bed.  This is your brain resting and recovering.  

-Be creative. New approaches are needed.  The adderall mentality is no longer going to work.

 

 

Other things:

 

-Eating well (avoiding sugar really helps!)

-Exercising  (helps your brain to re-learn how to focus)

-Do things that you truly love, unrelated to work, because those things will help you return to work with sharper focus.  For example, I went hiking a couple weeks ago, then got back to work and had some major breakthroughs with my project!

[WaitWhat]

You should watch the course: Learning How to Learn, on Coursera. It's all about building strategies to build focus and memory retention from the ground up.  It's a very gentle start to a very complex but useful set of tools.  I highly recommend it.  It's also free!

https://www.coursera.org/learn/learning-how-to-learn