Quitting before a deadline

[Once_Again_a_Dreamer]

I so desperately want to quit. Last summer while doing master's thesis research I overdosed and went to the ER. Now I live in Europe and I was easily able to get a Ritalin prescription (since Adderall is illegal here.) Every day I work like a maniac until 2-3pm (taking more than prescribed), then lay in bed shivering and anxious for the rest of the day, afraid to leave my apartment and be seen with such a red face and enlarged pupils, sometimes worrying if I've overdosed.

 

I only have the rest of this prescription, since I told my psych I'm getting married in three months and we'll try to get pregnant. Also, the drugs make me feel less connected to my fiancee and harm my relationships.

 

Can anyone give me advice for finishing my master's thesis in the next week without the Ritalin? I had written so much, but my advisor keeps telling me more changes to make and additions. I've started telling myself that this lonely, anxiety-ridden lifestyle is just a sacrifice necessary for my degree. That's crazy. There has to be another way; this is no way for human beings to live.

 

So, I'd really appreciate any advice from those of you who have managed to meet a deadline and still quit. Thanks so much.

[NotToday]

If it's just a week away, I would say use it to finish out your thesis, and then quit. The first few weeks coming off are brutal, and I would not recommend it with a deadline. 

Youre right in saying that the lifestyle is not worth it, but don't subject yourself to unnecessary torture. Once you finish the thesis, try to take a few days off completely to sleep of the worst of it.

[Once_Again_a_Dreamer]

The thesis defense went fine and my paper was a lot better than passing. I realize now I really would've been fine without drugging myself all year. 

In fact, my thinking processes on stimulants probably aren't the best for writing. I think this stuff inhibits creativity. You end up running really fast and huffing and puffing and getting...not very far.