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What were the steps in between those binges of 120mg a day to where you are now, if I may ask? I just ask because I am kind of in that same rut right now of binging and meth-head-eske behavior to some degree. I'm also averaging about 120mg a day (sometimes more) and was just wondering what you did right after your "dark period"? Did you tell your doctor? go to rehab? Just to read that those binges were someone else's dark period really hit me (especially the part about referring to the aftermath of adderall binges as ptsd) because that's kinda where I am at this very moment. I'm trying to taper down as best as I can but ya know as an addict that doesn't pan out all the time. :) thank you and i am happy to see you've started to rebuild your life, that's actually inspirational to me. Congrats on all your progress!

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Hey hey, MFA!

Welcome back.  We've missed you around here.  Sorry to hear of all the struggles since you left, but it sounds like you are in a better place now and back on track.  The good thing for you, is that you really do know how to quit and stay off the shit for the long term and that is huge.   It looks like your administrator rights have stood the test of time.  We haven't been plagued by spam hardly at all since the IPS upgrade last fall.  Looking forward to hearing from you again.

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  • 2 years later...
On 02/05/2017 at 3:05 PM, Speeder906 said:

What were the steps in between those binges of 120mg a day to where you are now, if I may ask? I just ask because I am kind of in that same rut right now of binging and meth-head-eske behavior to some degree. I'm also averaging about 120mg a day (sometimes more) and was just wondering what you did right after your "dark period"? Did you tell your doctor? go to rehab? Just to read that those binges were someone else's dark period really hit me (especially the part about referring to the aftermath of adderall binges as ptsd) because that's kinda where I am at this very moment. I'm trying to taper down as best as I can but ya know as an addict that doesn't pan out all the time. :) thank you and i am happy to see you've started to rebuild your life, that's actually inspirational to me. Congrats on all your progress!

This post was 2.5 years ago so I doubt the poster will still be wondering. But I'll answer in case anyone is interested.

I got to the stage where I was doing insane things, having moments of psychosis etc. In my clean hours, I knew this was unsustainable.It just so happened that I'd had a horrific binge while traveling to SFO (another crazy drug story) and scared myself straight.  i jumped on a plane and went back to Australia, with only a suitcase and a bottle of pills.  I gave the pills to my mother. She threw them away.

For me that was literally the only way I could quit. I have recently learned that Adderall is now available in Australia (it may always have been but I never went to ask) and I admit sometimes I have been tempted to get it. But two things have happened: 1) doctors here are more responsible than in the USA and don't just prescribe it in the first appointment, it would take a lot of lies and I'm not that kind of person any more; and 2) If I get psychotic again I don't think I can make it.

I hope you don't get to read this, Speeder. Not because I don't care about you but because I hope you're clean.  What a horrible drug Adderall is.

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  • 5 weeks later...
On 10/15/2019 at 5:37 AM, Motivation_Follows_Action said:

This post was 2.5 years ago so I doubt the poster will still be wondering. But I'll answer in case anyone is interested.

I got to the stage where I was doing insane things, having moments of psychosis etc. In my clean hours, I knew this was unsustainable.It just so happened that I'd had a horrific binge while traveling to SFO (another crazy drug story) and scared myself straight.  i jumped on a plane and went back to Australia, with only a suitcase and a bottle of pills.  I gave the pills to my mother. She threw them away.

For me that was literally the only way I could quit. I have recently learned that Adderall is now available in Australia (it may always have been but I never went to ask) and I admit sometimes I have been tempted to get it. But two things have happened: 1) doctors here are more responsible than in the USA and don't just prescribe it in the first appointment, it would take a lot of lies and I'm not that kind of person any more; and 2) If I get psychotic again I don't think I can make it.

I hope you don't get to read this, Speeder. Not because I don't care about you but because I hope you're clean.  What a horrible drug Adderall is.

Oh man.. reading what I wrote makes me cringe and feel bad for my old self. Doesn't even seem like something I would write at this point. I'm roughly a year and a half off adderall. Life is GOOD man. Came online to actually maybe make a post about how things have been going because I feel so good lately. Thanks for the reply anyways :D 

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OMG, I can't believe you're back!!!  I think I might've messaged you a few times?  Just to let you know, I am back too!! So my story is a little different, but I will explain it all soon.  Soooooo good to have you back and soooo glad you're okay!!!  You can do this!!

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