A Story, and a Possible Novel Method

[Icelos]

Hello everyone,

I have been lurking on this board for more years than I’d care to admit.  My story isn’t particularly unique or awe-inspiring.  However, I believe that I may have stumbled upon a unique method of employing specific supplements to aid in recovery.  It is not something that I invented, but I have never seen it mentioned in the context of recovery from stimulants, and I want to get this information out there so that the people who need it most can try it for themselves, and see if it benefits them as much as it has for me so far.  I will tell the short version of my story, and then provide some resources on the regimen that has helped me.  To get the disclaimers out of the way:  No, I am not certain this will work for you.  Also, no, I am not a shill trying to hock my snake oil supplements.  You’ll see they are available everywhere and come from half a dozen different brands.  If you don’t care about any of this other than the method, links are at the bottom.  

On to the story.  I used Adderall semi-recreationally starting in college.  That is, I didn’t have a prescription, and got very, very high, but the only thing that I would ever use it for was studying.  I loved dropping a pill, blasting some music, studying for 12 hours and acing the test the next day.  Back then, I would do it probably less than six times a year.  That lasted until my senior year of college, when I started preparing to get into law school.  Then, almost every weekend, I would wake up early, drop a pill, and study like a madman for the LSAT.  My goal was to get into the same law school as the woman who would later become my wife, so it was the most important thing in the world to me.  And I killed it.  I scored in the 97th percentile, and got a full ride scholarship.  That was the end of the purely good times with the drug.  

I believe that I truly am ADD based on my history, and three professional evaluations.  I also struggle with depression and anxiety.  However, these observations are pure hindsight.  At the time, I had no real understanding of mental illness, nor did I think I had it.  Nevertheless, I sought out and obtained a prescription.    I had gotten through my life up to this point through a combination of intelligence, taking classes that fit my strengths, and a little bit of Adderall.  I had absolutely no study skills.  The idea of studying for more than a couple hours per day without Adderall was completely foreign.  I had never had to do it before.  But it didn’t take me too long to realize that law school was so challenging, I would need my special helper.  Predictably, this ended up with me relying on Adderall to an unhealthy degree.  I got through law school, but I did not do well.  We had to leave NYC and move back to my hometown in the Midwest.  The economy was as poor as my grades at the time, so I was unable to find a job, even as a licensed attorney, and living my my parent’s house.  That was probably my lowest point.  I hung my own shingle, and every day was a blur of Adderall and then getting very drunk to drown the depression and anxiety and get to sleep.  

Eventually I was fortunate enough to find a firm that was willing to take a chance on me.  Since then, things have steadily improved, both in terms of my level of substance abuse, and my life.  I reached the point where I was mentally completely done with Adderall and drinking.  I cut back/quit several times, for varying lengths of time.  The alcohol was easier.  The first couple times were awful.  I was never a day drunk, but went hard enough that I would experience anxiety at night, and terrible, terrible nightmares for a few days when I stopped.  Eventually I settled into a pattern of moderate drinking (moderate for me anyway).  I found myself in a loop of taking Adderall to get through whatever at work, then drinking, then needing more Adderall, then drinking more, and then cutting back until I did it all over again.  

I began to suspect that something else was wrong with me.  I would quit drinking for 30 days, and still feel awful.  I quit Adderall for as long as two months, and still felt like garbage.  Then I’d go back on Adderall, and still wouldn’t feel good, or even normal.  At that point I wasn’t even trying to get high/drunk.  I just knew that it took Xmg of Adderall to get me through my day, and then it would take three to four drinks to get me to sleep.  I was constantly fatigued and emotionally blunted, on or off the substances.  I knew if taking the drug(s) again weren’t fixing the problem, it couldn’t be only withdrawal, which is what led me to research supplements.

I experimented with a large number of supplements, over a long period of time.  Some things helped, and I kept taking them, but I never got quite where I thought I should be.  One day I took a special kind of B vitamin complex, and it blew me away.  Within a couple hours of the first dose, I felt... alive.  But it didn’t last.  I had just picked the bottle up on a whim, because I saw that it contained a special kind of B12 that was supposed to be better.  I looked into the ingredients more, wondering why it would have made such a huge difference for me.  

That led me to a special regimen that was very well-known on a forum for sufferers of chronic fatigue syndrome and other diseases.  Many of the forum members had a great deal of success with it.  I am not even going to attempt to explain the science behind it.  It revolves around the methylation cycle, a critical part of energy production for the body.  In theory, disease or stress can cause disruptions in the methylation cycle, causing terrible symptoms. People with certain genetic problems can have issues with it as well.  I’m pretty sure I know what my stressor was.

I was so impressed by my results with the B complex that I went all in.  I bought every essential piece of the regimen.  The first day, I experienced the “startup” symptoms, and was generally exhausted.  The next day, I felt better than I had for years.  I had physical energy, and my head felt free of fog in a way that I’d almost forgotten.  It fixed it in a way that even the adderall didn’t.

Now, it’s not a magic bullet.  I still haven’t quit completely.  I have some mental pieces to fix.  When you start feeling good again, it’s easy to want to get high and celebrate.  It’s easy to get caught up in success, and want even more.  But even when I’m using drugs/alcohol, I still feel... alive.  I can think.  I don’t feel like adderall is my sole source of physical energy.  I used to be worried I had done permanent damage.  Now I’m not.  I finally feel like I’ll be able to live sober, without feeling like a hot dumpster and just white knuckling it.  I am quitting tomorrow, and giving myself a three day weekend to get back on my feet.  Compared to before, the cravings feel non-existent.

Here is the link to an FAQ that explains... well, everything, about the method I came across: http://howirecovered.com/active-b12-therapy-faq/

Here is the link to the regimen itself:  http://forums.phoenixrising.me/index.php?threads/b-12-the-hidden-story.142/#post-2568

If anyone else tries this, I would be very interested to hear your results.  If you want to start with only one ingredient to see if it may benefit you, try the Jarrow B-Right Complex or methylcobalamin.  These made an incredibly noticeable difference to me, and the one friend I’ve tested it on, within a matter of hours.  I think it’s possible that disruption in the methylation cycle may make the difference between people who can quit their adderall without noticing anything more than a resurgence in ADD symptoms, and people like me and others on this board who find recovery to be a process that takes months and years.  I am hoping to be one of the people that it is easy for now.

 This is ridiculously long, but I could have said so much more about any part of this.  I am going to try to provide some updates as I recover, and I’ll try to answer any questions.  If this helps anyone else, I will be glad I posted it.