idkanymore Posted August 4, 2019 Report Share Posted August 4, 2019 I’m still feeling great. Two weeks in and I know I can do this. I feel like such a better mom... I feel like I connect more with my daughter and that’s the only thing keeping me from getting back on. I’m nervous to tell my doctor. I guess that’s the addict in me talking. Ive noticed I’ve slept sooooo much better since getting off, I don’t have to take Benadryl or sleeping pills to sleep. I take melatonin gummies but I only take two per night, sometimes I don’t even need them. Has anyone else noticed weird mouth problems since quitting??? I have like permanent scars (maybe geographical tongue) on my tongue from pressing my tongue to my teeth constantly when I was tweaking. Also my back doesn’t hurt as bad and my joints aren’t nearly as stiff. sorry this post is all over the place, as you can imagine I’m extremely scatter brained lol. Any advice for fining the first month of sobriety? I’m trying to stay positive! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrewK15 Posted August 4, 2019 Report Share Posted August 4, 2019 @idkanymore whatever you are doing, keep doing it. You are the first person I’ve ever heard describe themselves as “great” 2 weeks after dropping a 200mg/day habit. And you do legitimately seem good, it’s amazing to hear. Keep getting good rest, eat well, and get in a little cardio if you’re up to it. The mouth sores/scars should go away. I had those when I quit and they went away completely after a couple months. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted August 5, 2019 Report Share Posted August 5, 2019 @idkanymore congrats on 2 weeks clean! I'm currently day 7 so you got 8 days on me and I look forward to seeing your positive post! I've gone 3-4 weeks clean multiple times in the past and its amazing how powerful this drug can be on our brains cause I would feel so positive and then slip up and have to go down a crappy path again. Just realize that "IT WONT BE DIFFERENT THIS TIME!" if you ever think of taking one. That would be my problem, I would feel so physically better after a few weeks that I only remembered the honeymoon phase of when I first took the drug and then would go back to it and instantly be back to hating my life....similar to some of my former toxic relationships with exes. You break up with people for a reason but after a few weeks you only seem to remember the good times or good things and go back. Thats been my problem with this drug..its crazy. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idkanymore Posted August 8, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2019 Thank you so much @DrewK15 I think what helps is knowing how hard it’d be to start over. I’ve been drinking tons of water and that helps me. I have used caffeine pills a few days to help me from falling asleep driving with my daughter in the car. Making a routine has helped too. In my mind I keep telling myself I have no choice , like I can’t go back to what I was doing or I will die and leave my kid without a mom. You noticing how good I’m doing helps me so much and means so much to me! Thank you so much. How are you doing on your journey? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idkanymore Posted August 8, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 8, 2019 Dude I totally know what your saying about the relationship thing @eric I feel the same way. You’ve got this! We can do it together. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted August 12, 2019 Report Share Posted August 12, 2019 Well I’m at the end of day 13 and thankfully still going strong, I’ve had a few urges and it appears that I may have actually learned something from all those failed attempts to quit in the past cause I quickly recognize the craving and extinguish it before it leads to anything bad. Basically after a minute I end up with the conclusion that taking something is not the answer and I won’t get better if I do. Time is the only thing that will heal me at this point and I’m finally understanding that! @idkanymore How are you doing? Since your a week ahead of me i look forward to seeing your posts! Lol. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idkanymore Posted August 13, 2019 Author Report Share Posted August 13, 2019 @eric I’m doing ok! Today is kind of hard, I really want one today because I am so tired and have no motivation. Not having access to them is a blessing in disguise. Sleep is my best friend today. But that’s okay because at least I’m not strung out. I love being able to laugh again, and being able to eat. Those are the things that keep me sober. I’m glad you’re doing great ❤️ 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted August 17, 2019 Report Share Posted August 17, 2019 I'm halfway thru Day 19 and doing good. I'll probably start my own post in the next 11 days instead of taking over @idkanymore's lol. Today is Saturday and like much of the south it is freaking hot outside and I'm staying inside. I work outside during the week and its been rough with temperatures being so high, its amazing how the stimulants would allow me to work in the heat without thinking about it as long as I stayed hydrated (I experienced rhabdomyolysis my first year of taking meds and I know I only got it because of them allowing me to over work myself). So its been tough this week getting thru work but I must say that the abundance of sunshine this early in recovery may be helping with potential depression feelings that come from stimulant withdrawal. In the past I would try to quit in the winter time to make work easier but I felt worse emotionally which may have been due in part to the winter weather/shorter days. So far this week my cravings have not been there at all, its been quite a unique experience to not constantly think about pills. Any work issues that come up I just get thru them as best as possible along with dealing with the kiddo going back to school. I have however felt very fatigued the past 3 days but thankfully I know why I'm feeling this way (withdrawal and heat) and I know that one day things will get better as long as I stay the course. I've also been watching a lot of the Intervention show on Hulu, I never wanted to before cause it would make me feel bad about my problems or convince myself that I'm not as bad as those people so I got my problem under control. I watch it now and it gives me a sense of hope, especially when I see how much they transform after treatment (3-4 months after their intervention) and hoping that I see them still sober at the end of the episode. I cheer for them so much that I'm now cheering myself on and it feels amazing to have this drive to better myself finally. I know this mightve been scatterbrained but I hope I got my feelings across. Overall, I feel so much better mentally and psychically. I've given myself a second chance at life and I get to experience it now with a renewed sense of the world. To anybody out there currently struggling, it may be scary to quit but its totally worth it!!! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geometric11 Posted August 17, 2019 Report Share Posted August 17, 2019 Thank you for sharing your story. stay the course. Unfortunately, I relapsed a month ago after almost 1 year clean. I began drinking ALOT over spring and summer and was seeing a man who was not right for me. in hindsight, I see that my drinking and toxic "situation-ship" reduced my ability to feel good and stay the course. I know I will quit again, it would just be so much easier if I had stuck with my last quit. Keep the posts up! they help me see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted August 19, 2019 Report Share Posted August 19, 2019 @idkanymore well I’m finishing up my day 20. Just checking in and I hope your weekend was good. This week should be a big one for ya in recovery! There is always support here when you need it. Best of luck! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hounniciabany Posted October 7, 2019 Report Share Posted October 7, 2019 Yes it is all a fantasy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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