Trying Again!

[Spartan]

Hey guys, I've been a long time reader of this site as Adderall has been a topic near and dear to me. I've tried to quit 5 or 6 times, but the longest I've ever made it is about 1 week. I'm perscribed 15mg XR twice daily, but lately I always take 3 and then run out about a week early and have this awful withdrawl to go through. Each time I tell myself I'll just quit once I run out, but I never do. I'm always back on it the second I can refill my prescription, in fact usually I'll go to the pharmacy really early in the morning.

The two things I've had the hardest time with have been both my time at work and my time working out. The work thing is just the boredom that so many others describe. The other thing that's proven really difficult has been my time at the gym. When I'm on adderall I find that I'm motivated to run, bike, whatever and my intensity/endurance is fantastic. Right now I'm on day 3 clean and I went for a run last night, and it was terrible! Nothing near what I usually can do with the adderall intensity!

I realize that I've continued to increase my dosage, and I know that there is no way I can keep taking this crap forever, but it's so difficult to stop.

Anyway, thanks so much for this site. I found that really helpful just to type out.

[pfarran]

I had to go to rehab. I tried to quit so many times. I have had to learn to do everything again but without the pills . I have been free from the grip of Adderall for 9 months and 2 weeks. I go to 12 step meetings. The program really helps. I forgot how decent normal can feel. I have never felt better. Do whatever you have to do to get off it and stay off it-it is soooo worth it.

[tinybuddha]

I had to go to rehab. I tried to quit so many times. I have had to learn to do everything again but without the pills . I have been free from the grip of Adderall for 9 months and 2 weeks. I go to 12 step meetings. The program really helps. I forgot how decent normal can feel. I have never felt better. Do whatever you have to do to get off it and stay off it-it is soooo worth it.

Hi,

I am curious about rehab programs and how well they work in regards to adderall addiction. If you would be willing to share your experience with it I would appreciate it. Which one was it? Did it have a program for specific conditions like prescription drug abuse? Was it very costly? What was an average day like? Or any other information you feel comfortable sharing. Thank you!

[pfarran]

Well, regarding rehab, I went to Fairbanks Hospital in Indianapolis, IN. I was surprised by an intervention planned by my family on Easter Sunday of last year. I was at the point in my active addiction that I was taking SOOOO much Adderall-up to 1200 mg a day (over a 24 hour period of course because I never went to bed Mon - Fri), that its side effects were outweighing any benefits for me, and I knew that I needed to be done with it-so I went willingly to Fairbanks that day. I was checked into the residential facility after an assessment. It was quite costly- all told, my 10 day stay cost around $10,000. After I was discharged, I moved into a sober living facility (which was a nearby apartment complex) and began 3 weeks of partial hospitalization-which was 5 days a week, 8 hours a day of group therapy. When those 3 weeks were over, I stepped down to 6 weeks of Intensive Outpatient Treatment-which was 3 days a week, for 3 hours a day (or at night if you work). All the while, I continued to live in Sober Living, with 3-4 roommates, curfews, drug screens, and required weekly meetings and selected programming. I am 9 months, 2 weeks, and 1 day clean. I still go to 3-4 12-step meetings a week. This may seem like a lot to some people. I did not think I needed such intensive treatment at the beginning. However, after 6 years of binging on Adderall, I truly don't know what else would have worked for me. It has been all or nothing from the beginning. I also have a history of problem drinking-which I pretty much stopped when I discovered Adderall and began getting prescriptions for it-so I have my alcoholic tendencies to deal with as well.

I can tell you, with no reservations whatsoever, that this treatment and subsequent program, 12-steps, and sponsorship have saved my life. I will always be in recovery, but I don't ever HAVE to use any substance again to deal with what life brings me. I forgot how it felt to be normal. I feel normal today...calm, and even peaceful. If you want to know anything else, please feel free to email me at farranpa@gmail.com

[Cassie]

Spartan,

I can relate to your feelings of work and exercise off Adderall. On Adderall, I ran 20 miles a week and was in amazing shape. I loved running and was motivated to run almost every day. When I quit, I suddenly discovered that I could barely walk, let alone run. I went from jogging 3-4 miles outside everyday to forcing myself to walk on my treadmill for 20 minutes a day, at 3.0 mph, in front of the TV. And even that felt torturous. Sometimes I had to settle for every other day.

I'm sorry to say this, but it took over two months for me to feel like I had any physical energy again. I took Adderall for 5 years. During the first two months, I could barely walk on the treadmill as I mentioned above, and it took effort just to get out of my chair at work during the day and go walk around. I felt like I became glued to any chair I sat on. I'm 73 days clean and finally feeling energy again. I relaped once before at the two month mark because I couldn't handle the physical fatigue, so I knew what to expect this time around and wasn't as anxious about it. I knew I would no longer enjoy running once I quit again, so I got lots of shows lined up on my Netflix queue for my pathetic walk-a-thon. Since I quit, I've done Bikram yoga twice a week and that has helped a little, but about a week ago I decided to challenge myself and do it every day for 30 days. I'm day 6 into it, and I can say that my body finally feels alive again. I have Adderall levels of physical energy now due to the daily yoga (I alternate practicing at a studio to doing the same routine at home, using an audio podcast).

Anyway, I hope this helps a little. You are definitely not alone in your struggles with exercise. For me, the prolonged physical fatigue (and subsequent lack of motivation to exercise) was the hardest part of quitting Adderall.

Cassie