3rd Day Clean -- 6.5 years an addict

[HinduHammer]

Hello all,

I will reply to this thread in order to supplement my story. As you all may know, my motivation and urge to share my story is still not great as I am just getting off addy from (this time) about 2 years of chronic use, using anywhere from 30-100+mg/day; average = 50mg/day mix of IR, XR, both, etc. Swallowing, chewing up capsules, insuffalating occasionally.

I got a new job selling medical software and had to move to Phoenix. I was in a hellish place emotionally and life-wise with my old job; and I used the addy to apply so hard and present myself well and get a new job. However, I knew that with my continued adderall use I would have the emotional/temperment/communication problems and would appear aggressive or detached, or worse too aware of what I was appearing like.

Anyway, I told myself I would quit all this $hit on Jan 1. My new job started on Jan 3. I continued using. I was fired on Feb 3.

I took this as a sign from the powers that be, that this is my chance now. Before I was working for my family member and was in college; my first job that I got for myself, I lost due to my own substance abuse. This was a sign that I needed to get clean and now.

I told my parents who were viising me here in PHX to help get set up, on Sunday. On Monday Feb 13, I had an interview and took my last dose of addy, chewed up most of a 30mg XR. Gave my dad the rest of my bottle and scripts before he left Sunday.

So far, I feel very tired, depressed, and I want to use so bad. However, I know that the vision I Have of using will not be what it's like. The high I crave I have never really had in the past few years, just tempting shadows of it with adderall, always chasing the feeling.

Anyway, Friday night, quit adderall. This time for good. ALso, I smoke pot and ciggarrettes. I realize that was my first addiction *pot*, which probably led me to addy, and now I need to get off that too. Please let me know if you have any tips for me.

Thanks,

HH

[quit-once]

HH-

You are in a tight spot right now. Don't be too hard on yourself for getting fired because if you would have begun a new job in the midst of adderall withdrawl, you might have been fired even sooner! I like to list the goods and the bads of my situation whenever it comes to making a major decision. As I see it, the down side of your situation is: no job, no money, new strange city and no adderall to help you deal with it all. But also look at the positive side of your situation: You have supportive parents who can help you overcome your addiction and also this web site so you are not alone in the struggle. You are already beyond the first three days of withdrawls so you should start to feel better (physically) each and every day. You don't have a job at the moment so you can focus all your energy on recovering from this awful addiction. You don't have any pills to tempt you since you sent them home with the old man. You have made the decision to quit and you have acted on it. You know that taking adderall will not solve even one single problem that you have right now - in fact you know that adderall was THE reason you lost your job and that it will not help you do any job better as long as you are encumbered with this drug addiction. So my advice is to enjoy the early spring Phoenix sunshine while focusing on you recovery for the next month or so. Don't worry about quitting cigs or pot for now; I found it fairly easy to quit smoking after I quit taking those awful pills. Make a plan. Start a hobby. Get a puppy.