Convince me not to get another script

[Rich]

Hello all,

I've got kind of a conundrum. So I'm in law school right now, a place that leaves me crawling with a desire to take vyvanse. I have been off the drug for a little over a year and a half, not counting a one month long relapse where I got another script. Vyvanse was so good to me for the first 6 months or so when I first started taking it, and then I became slowly used to the high I got from it. It helped me most with my social anxiety and overall confidence. After the 6 month honeymoon though, the ups became less frequent and the downs became more common and went deeper than I was comfortable with. I became slightly standoffish with friends (definitely not like my docile personality), and went from social butterfly to a slightly erratic patchwork of fun and outgoing and just plain mean and unpleasant. Now that I think about it I can't be sure if it really did make me worse off than before because it has been so long since I knew what life was like before I met vyvanse.

I never needed vyvanse for academics, I had always been a straight A student, and done well on standardized tests etc. I just took it once from a friend, and loved how it made me think so clear and crisp, like I finally figured out how I was supposed to think. Do I need vyvanse? No. Do I want to have it for how amazing it made me feel once upon a time? Yes.

Anyways... I adjusted decently to post-vyvanse life: my first semester I've done very well academically, but I'm struggling to find the motivation to look for a summer internship (a very big deal). I've got a appointment in 2 days to see my psych (which I scheduled so I could get back on v). What should I do???

Sincerely,

R

[quit-once]

It may be too late. You have had plenty of time to rev up your addiction engine while anticiipating getting more V from your scheduled appointment. You are looking forward to leaving the Dr. office with a script in hand, filling it, and getting high off that first big dose. I have a buddy named Bill that was a professional alcoholic before he traded alcohol for adderall. He has been to a lot of AA meetings, rehabs, and he has educated me about the 12 step plan and things they discuss in AA. The most interesting lesson for me was the conspiracy drunk. In legal terms I think it is called premeditatedmedicated. Bill said: "you get drunk in your mind the moment you PLAN to take that first drink". He feels the pleasurable effects of alcohol while driving to the liquor store and while buying the liquor with absolutely no alcohol in his system. Rich, you are high with anticipation of getting a bottle of V-pills very soon and I don't know if any form of reason will prevent you from moving forward and acting on your planned impulse. But I'll try to provide you with some questions to ask yourself before filling your script.

In a month or two, will you look back at this fork in your life path and regret the decision? Will the regret be worth the short term high? You already know the shit does not work like it did at first so you are really chasing a short term buzz with a long term addiction. How long will it be before you feel like quitting again? a month? six months? two years? Any stimulant addiction is unsustainable over the long term and you know you will have to quit again at some point in your future.

Ask yourself this one question: If you suddenly just found (or was offered) some V-pills, would you consume? If the quick answer was "hell yes", then you should go see your doctor and get that script filled ASAP.