2 months and depression/fatigue at it's worse

[CajunGrocer27]

Hello,

I am over two months clean of adderall since an addiction that started at 40mg and grew to 60mg a day (more if I were going out) over the course of 2+ years. Before I started taking adderall, my friends would have described me as funny, outgoing, sociable, happy-go-lucky, etc. I realized that adderall had taken that, and many other positive aspects of my life, away from me and so I decided to quit taking it. It's been over two months since my last pill and I must say that the depression/fatigue aspect of the withdrawal seems to be getting worse. I have barely any energy to get out of bed and no reason to many days as unless I have an interview (I'm currently unemployed). I know I should be working out but it's almost impossible to find the motivation to do that. I certainly do love to eat though. I find that I'm avoiding social situations with friends and family because I'm embarrassed about my ballooning weight and lack of confidence in being able to bring any type of conversation to the table. I can't remember the last time I was truly happy or had a good day. I take multi-vitamins and extra vitamin D. I can't seem to get past this barrier of lethargy even though the boredom is excruciating. it's a vicious cycle of boredom but lack of energy to be active.

Is it common to experience these feelings for this long? Any tips to get past this? How long can I expect to feel this lethargic? Will I ever have a normal energy level?

[Whittering]

Hi, my two month mark is today. My withdrawals have been much less severe than when I went off last time. One thing I did that you didn't mention is I took L-tyrosine and large doses of Omega 3. The L-tyrosine to me worked just like the Adderall. And I drink a lot of coffee now which I didn't really before.

Hope this helps! And Good Luck!

[Joanne]

Hi Cajun -- I too am still fighting depression and fatigue after several months off the Adderall. Some of it, I think, is a continuing withdrawal process. But other aspects of my life are out of whack too -- Adderall was just one of the pharmaceutical treatments for depression I've been given over the past thirty years. And I'm a recovering alcoholic. And going thru menopause. And just lost a dear friend in a motorcycle accident. Etc. etc. Thankfully, I am not unemployed! That is a really big source of stress all by itself.

In the face of these hard life circumstances, an addict's brain does what an addict's brain does. It focuses on the magic substance. And not on our actual experiences, but a romanticized version of our best early experience on the drug. I'm not saying that Adderall withdrawal is not part of our common problem here. But the little voice in the back of my head that tells me Adderall is the solution? That little guy is not a solution, he's another symptom.

If you can find an AA or NA meeting that is simpatico, your fellow addicts can help a LOT. (Having read your first post, I think you'd fit in pretty damn well.) If the first meeting you go to doesn't suit you -- too old, too young, too religious, too biker, whatever -- keep trying. And check in here!

[Cassie]

I know what you mean about the prolongued fatigue. I didn't feel like I had any physical energy for over two months after quitting. I felt like the second month off Adderall was even worse than the first, energy wise. This is my second time quitting. The first was a year ago. I went two months and then relapsed because I wasn't feeling the slightest improvement in my energy level; in fact, I felt like I was regressing. This time around, I did the following things differently:

1) Regular supplements. I've been taking l-tyrosine twice daily since I quit this time. The first time I only took it intermittently. It helps your mood slightly; plus you get the placebo effect of taking pills.

2) Light exercise. The first time I quit, I forced myself to jog every other day, even though I hate jogging off Adderall. While this kept my weight down, I think it tired me out even more. This time around, I've been doing a daily 20-30 minute leisurely walk. It's not burning as many calories so I'm eating less to compensate, but I have more energy now than when I was forcing myself to do more intense exercise.

3) Massages. I've been getting a weekly deep tissue massage. I go to a massage school near my work so it's only $25. I believe this has helped tremendously in healing my body.

4) Yoga. Since my second quit, I've done Bikram yoga twice a week (at a studio and at home). About two weeks ago I decided to do it every day for a month. After seven straight days, I finally felt like I had normal levels of energy again. This was at 73 days clean. I had to stop for a few days due to knee pain, but resumed doing the yoga every other day.

5) Baths. I've taken lots of hot baths since quitting, at least once a week.

I hope this helps. Even if you're not motivated to exercise (like me), it won't take a lot of effort to go for a 20 minute walk every day and do some yoga poses at home. Don't push yourself and take care of your body. I believe it's a lot easier to change your body than it is to change your mind/thoughts, and by changing your body your mental state will improve. For me, once I was out of the woods with the (very long) physical withdrawal, I felt much more optimistic about my recovery, my confidence level, my social life, etc.

Cassie