Wintermute Posted May 8, 2012 Report Share Posted May 8, 2012 (edited) Hello all, I'm a new member here, although I think I first found this website a few months ago (never read the forums). I thought I would introduce myself and briefly share my story. Currently I am a twenty-year-old college student studying computer science. I really should be studying for finals / scrambling to complete innumerable assignments that I left for the end of the semester. But this forum is holding my attention right now. I began taking Concerta after being “diagnosed†with ADD sophomore year of high school. It worked pretty well at first, I was able to focus on schoolwork a little more but I never really experienced the amazing success that it seems most prescribed users do. Within six to seven months or so I began experiencing minor paranoia that worsened exponentially to the point that I thought the government was out to get me and was spying on me. Now that I’m older I know the government is out to get all of us but that is different, lol. The doc switched me to Adderall xrs and since then I’ve never experienced that again. I continued taking Adderall all through high school. I took all AP classes and scored high enough on the tests to get college credit, scored in the highest percentile on the SAT, but managed only a 2.9 GPA. I literally did not study for a single test and I handed in less than 20% of all HS homework. I didn’t even take notes. I basically used Adderall to sit through class and play 90 minutes of varsity soccer without stopping. My teachers let me be and my parents were too busy dealing with other things to pay attention. Luckily, Adderall hadn’t stupefied me yet and I could still write my ass off, so I still got into the college I always wanted to attend. Freshmen year was a breeze and I pulled off a 2.9 GPA doing the same old stuff I did in high school. It was easy for me to charm teachers that didn’t like me and do the critical work last minute. I definitely did more studying/work than I had in HS but probably only because I was taking classes that interested me. Over the summer I decided for whatever reason I needed to up my dosage. I figured I was too smart to get mediocre grades and I wanted to be in the top-flight of students at my university. I almost did it first semester of sophomore year. At Thanksgiving Break I had straight A’s and was looking for extra work to do to impress my teachers. Before the end of the semester though, it all fell apart. I grew anxious, I became socially avoidant, I skipped class to go to the library and study all sorts of things (wtf right?). Thanks to this, I failed half of my classes. My parent’s were surprised but they trusted me that this was a fluke. I decided Adderall was what made feel that way and I resolved to stop taking it … as soon as 90-day script ran out. This semester, I made it almost halfway through on the rest of that Adderall, but when I stopped, everything went downhill. Sure, I felt funnier, nicer, more creative, but I also felt slower (mentally/physically), tired, and lazy. When I had too, I couldn’t focus. It was easy to get Adderall when I needed it and when I think back on the last few months, I really can’t remember not taking it somehow. Despite this, I had trouble completing most of my assignments and tests. Long story short, have straight 55%’s in all of my classes right now (weird huh?) and I’m hoping I can pull of straight D’s. I’m trying to avoid being kicked out of my college and figure out a way to tell my parents. I was extremely depressed right when I ran out of Adderall and I only just now feel like it’s getting better. I am afraid that because I took Adderall for so long I’ll never be able to be as smart as I could have been, and I definitely don’t feel very smart right now. In fact, my brain feels like burnt scrambled eggs in a frying pan. When I sit down to do work, I let myself become distracted by friends and social life because honestly that’s better than being depressed. Hopefully by posting on this board I can learn some things from people with similar experiences and maybe help out others. I wish I had never taken that blue pill. **EDIT - removed information about my location Edited May 8, 2012 by Wintermute Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted May 9, 2012 Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 At this late stage in the semester, straight D's and straight F's are about the same thing - you will need to re-take all of those classes. I hope you don't get booted from your school. The first time I read your post last night, I got a really good laugh when you were describing your brain and how smart you feel right now. Don't worry, your brilliance and mental sharpness will return IF you stayoff the adderall. But you will need lots of patience (it could take a year or longer) and you will have to learn some new study habits that you have never had to practice because you took the stimulant shortcut. Welcome to this forum and good luck to you, Wintermute. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wintermute Posted May 9, 2012 Author Report Share Posted May 9, 2012 Quit-Once Ha ha I'm glad my analogy gave you a good laugh. And yes, I agree; D's and F's at this point are equivalent. Getting booted from my school wouldn't be the worst thing in the world (it would be very, very bad, but not the worst) but it would hurt. I have a pretty addictive personality and the temptation/accessibility of Adderall in college is overwhelming. Maybe it would be a blessing in disguise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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