My Struggle

[on that lean]

Hello,

So I'm a 19 year old, almost 20, guy that is addicted to Adderall.

I started taking it when I prescribed in my sophomore year of high school, now I'm in my second year of college.

Oddly enough, I started off hating the effects of the drug, but as of about 2 years ago, I began to love it.

Love it so much to the point that I run out of my 60 pill (30 mgs) prescription in about 2 - 2 1/2 weeks. I'm supposed to take 60 mgs a day, but I take anywhere from 80-120 mgs a day. I started liking Adderall because I noticed how productive and social I was. I realized I had a problem when I began taking so much that my prescription would run out and in order to "feel normal" I need to buy from people, even when I don't have money, so I end up owing them money. Also, I don't talk to my family and friends as much as I used too because my mind is so concentrated on myself, and what I need to get done. Without Adderall, I feel tired all day long, and very hungry. I want to slow down, to my normal dose, or even less. I've gone a few days without it, but I want to know how long do I need to go before I feel like I'm not having withdraws anymore and back to MYSELF. Any advice? Help?

Thanks.

[Greg]

Hey On That Lean,

When i was running out early and supplementing with pills I bought...I developed paranoid psychosis...and I lived in that state for a long time...and I feel ashamed about it and it impacted my career, the path my life took --- everything...I was a sick person, not myself for many years because of the dosages of adderall I could not stop myself from taking...

The path you are on gets uglier and uglier...and uglier...You will start to run out sooner and sooner, you'll get more frustrated with yourself for not being able to stop....The daily personal battle you will be fighting against this drug will be exhausting and depressing. with your prescription + extra pills that you've bought...you will start to feel nervous, depressed, anxious all the time as the pills are wearing off.....and in general youll be taking adderall to relieve yourself from the misery adderall is creating...

I hope this bleak picture of how adderall addiction runs it course convinces you to get your doctor to cut off the prescriptions...and then tell the people you're buying from that you've gotten addicted and to stop selling you pills.

I just read the novel Requiem For A Dream... In the novel, a woman devolves (to say the least) after getting hooked on Dexadrine pills. (You can tell the author was an addict because of how true to life he portrayed her amphetamine addiction and paranoid psychosis)

Here’s a quote from when the ‘honeymoon’ period of her pills comes to an end...

She didn’t feel the same like when she first started taking the pills. It was like they took something out of them. Maybe they made a mistake and gave her the wrong pills? Maybe she should get stronger ones? She called the doctors office and talked with the nurse and asked two, three, how many times, if she was sure she didn’t give her the wrong pills?

Sound familiar?

Anyway, this book was just really, really powerful.. I recommend you read this. Maybe it will help you convince yourself that this isn’t the path you want to be on...and that you are meant for a much better path in life.