Emily GettingFree Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 After struggling with Adderall addiction for three years of grad school, I am finally ready to kick that shit to the curb. Today I told my boyfriend how bad things had gotten and that I wanted to quit, and together we flushed the rest of my meds down the toilet. I won't lose another year of my life to this lifelessness. This is one of the most terrifying, exhilarating, empowering and freeing things I have ever done. I already feel a weight lifting off of me. I want to get healthy. I want to get strong. I want to stop paying money to the pharmaceutical companies every month. And I want to feel my full life again, expanding out beyond me in every direction. Adderall, I finally realized, cuts off that expanse. It has pressed my life inward, compacting it more tightly over time until I have felt like nothing more than a lab rat running circles in an impossibly small, windowless box. But I can choose something different. This is my first post here. I've been checking out this website and others' posts for awhile, but today I finally decided to create an account and post about my decision to quit. Thanks to all here for helping me to do that for myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
highonlife Posted August 1, 2012 Report Share Posted August 1, 2012 Welcome Emily! You have made the right decision and we are more than happy to help you with your journey. It's a LONG one, but just be sure and ride that "I freaking hate Adderall" wave as long as possible. My hatred for Adderall gave me a chip on my shoulder and allowed me to overcome some of the initial difficulties. You got this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
finding freedom Posted August 2, 2012 Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Emily, Way to go woman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily GettingFree Posted August 2, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 2, 2012 Thanks, guys! It really helps to have your encouragement! Day 2 feels a little easier than I thought it would, and psychologically I'm still flying high from my decision. I remembered how hard it can be to deal with sluggish-ness as others do - simply slogging through or going for a run rather than popping a pill - but am also riding the "I hate Adderall" wave for all I'm worth. Today I'm actually feeling a strange sort of grief for the time I've lost while on it, and feeling very spiteful and angry toward the drug. Gotta own that myself, though... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily GettingFree Posted August 3, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 3, 2012 Day 3. Yesterday we bought a bike rack for the car and took the new bikes for a long ride through the local state park. It felt incredible to feel so alive. Woke up a little sluggish again today, but after some strong coffee and a strong pep talk, I'm getting some work done. It's a little harder to get started, but I know that when I'm done working, I can just get up and walk away (feeling sane, and without wondering how it got to be 10 p.m. already). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily GettingFree Posted August 24, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 24, 2012 I'm starting classes and teaching again on Monday, and I'm feeling a little anxious about the workload, specifically how I will rise to the challenge this year without the meds. I'm also now past the date where I could refill my prescription - yes, this means I made it almost a full month! - and I need to call my doctor to tell him I'm not going to take it anymore. This feels like a hard step, and I haven't taken it yet. On the other hand, I haven't stumbled yet: I'm still 100% Adderall-free since July 31. I guess I could use a bit of encouragement right now, and maybe some reminders of why I'm doing this in the first place. I feel healthier, but the anxiety around work is coming back and I'm not sure what to do with it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Emily GettingFree Posted August 28, 2012 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2012 Got the day started with a strong cup of coffee and a run instead. And went to bed last night at a reasonable hour, feeling human. One day at a time! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoseMosley Posted October 17, 2012 Report Share Posted October 17, 2012 The withdrawal just sucks, there's no way around it and I'm going to have to accept the awfulness of it I guess instead of using other substances to numb myself. ----------------------------- TVs making the ideal into reality --- buy cheap dvd, What We Need Is Persist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilah Posted October 22, 2012 Report Share Posted October 22, 2012 The withdrawal does suck, but after the first week or so it's largely mental. Exercise and a good diet are the most important things you can do. I also learned that "gamifying" my work day helped a bit. Give yourself some sort of reward at the end of the day, and if you get so many "points" then you get to have it. Then assign points to all the tasks you need to do if you complete them in a predetermined amount of time. It sounds silly but does help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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