FreeTheRealMe Posted December 27, 2012 Report Share Posted December 27, 2012 You are not alone. I read just that as I connected to this site on the homepage and after reading many posts by others on these story forums, I can say it is true. I can also say that I have already trashed 1/2 of my prescription so that as soon as my busy work schedule ends on January 2nd, so starts my journey back to who I once was. I have tried to quit before, however the biggest weight I find is circumstantial and my most recent attempt I caved by bills that had to be paid and moving into my own place, stress within the family, but this time I am expecting it. I have written letters to my family, friends and my job, hoping support will come easier. My biggest fear is not being able to feel like I once did years ago, because the longest I've gone without my medication is 10 days, every day worsening. I know now however, after much reading from the creator of this site, that I am in the same boat as many. A boat with no oars, no anchor and no direction. So......it's time to swim. I know I will get tired, I know it will take time and I know the current may try to drag me back, but I will reach land. I will stand on my two feet, I will join the world again. In these upcoming days, I will use this community as an audience. Your words will be my ambition, my hope. This is the start of a diary, which I will share the truth of what I am going through. When I break free, you will be right beside me, when I collapse I will rely on you to pick me up. Here marks my first step toward a true me. My utmost thanks to everyone willing to take this journey with me. My next entry I will share my story. But for now I will take some time to read others. Luctor et emergo Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted December 30, 2012 Report Share Posted December 30, 2012 I hope things are well with you freetherealme...this is indeed a God send site for people like us. I have 9 days this time..over 3 years once as well.... I have an appetite for adderall that will never be satiated...therefore I am an abuser. But for me personally....the me before adderall....was also the me that became an addict of it. The me that chased its oblivion...the me that had obviously had something missing,had amends to make with things in the past left open. Resentment will become your plague. There's a whole other real you that you may have never even met yet...one that is without chemical enhancement, one that pairs that with tying up some loose ends in life thus far and looks inward...deeply inward to find happiness without expectation. You're going to find the person that you were divinely meant to be....no joke. It will be the most unreal experience ever...please stay connected here and keep everyone updated...sounds like your plan is a good one.take care. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FreeTheRealMe Posted January 5, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 So its day 4 and man I have no energy at all. I just want to sleep all the time, how long does it take to start regaining energy? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Krax Posted January 5, 2013 Report Share Posted January 5, 2013 It took me about 10 days Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather67 Posted January 6, 2013 Report Share Posted January 6, 2013 Yeah ...the first week as a general rule...sucks balls. The second week there seem to be a lot of variables,my bodies ability to actually function was pretty good fairly quickly this time...unlike 2006 when I went to inpatient rehab and literally slept through the first two weeks. The problem lies for me is that my mind set...state of mind ...and unfortunately highly adderall programed mind has to follow suit....the hoop Dee wont run without fuel...and my mind has not gotten to anywhere near the point the rest of me is at which is like 2 weeks now. I know that comes gradually and I just have to deal with it. A lot of the things I do....is based on counter thinking. Things I say naaaaah on...I counter by just fuckin pushing myself to do them. And if I'm like yeah skip the laundry till tonite...I just zombie my ass down the stairs thinking nooooo..just get it in now. I am not comfortable with not being all. " """"Addie stoked """about every activity I partake in,even the stupidest shit. I know this is an undertaking that requires acceptance,change,deprogramming and a good old fashioned "walk it the fuck off" mentality. But it beats chasing them 30's any fuckin day!!! Hang in there,keep posting and keep reading!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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