lea Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 I think it's day 2 off ADD meds - I've been asleep for most of it but have not used since 1/8/13 @ 8pm. That was after another binge of popping a pill every hour - 3 nights no sleep, no food and counting the minutes until the next hit. I was so isolated the only person I could call for help was my former recovery coach - a miracle that I called anyone... I was a complete wreck and honestly believe I have never exposed this kind of raw emotional vulnerability to anyone. Today I have brain fog but my jaw feels better... I hope and pray I have learned my lesson and that this has been a wake-up call. I will pray everyday just to get through the next 5 minutes moving forward. I had to trash the meds b/c I am one of those poor animals in the experiments ... I feel sorry for them but only contempt for myself. I have been reading this website nonstop and only pray for the strength to get thru this. There has to be more to life than the "thrill" chasing a dopamine high. Your stories are my story. I hope that when my brain begins to recover I have the guts to write more about the addiction. Right now I need to focus on recovery - one minute at a time. Thanks to everyone on this site for sharing your denial-busting stories. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 welcome lea, congrats on taking major steps to quitting. tough it out, it's gonna hurt, but the agony is worth it in the end... and it's not THAT bad... just give yourself a few days to repair and recover and then it's all up hill, peaches and cream, from there... just kidding, but it is better than the self created problem adderall adds to the mix.. keep posting and let us know how it's going... you can do this, just get thru the next few days... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 "Your stories are my story"... never a truer word said. Welcome to the forum, Lea. You're also right about just focusing on getting through recovery, one minute, second, hour, day at a time. Everything you're doing at the moment is right. Stay strong, vent all you want, cry all you want, sleep all you want, eat all you want. Give yourself a free pass to just get well for a little while. It's the thing I struggled with the most and the one piece of advice that's so common here - we adderallics are overachieving buggers and can't stand the change of pace. But your body is telling you something, so listen to it. Hang in there. Moment by moment! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 10, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 You two are great - thanks for the encouragement. sky - I'm not going to stress about eating an entire container of trail mix (among other things) -lol motivation follows action - great name, this needs to be my mantra. I haven't lifted my butt from the couch all day but actually have a work meeting @ 3:30 which means I have to shower - motivation follows action... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted January 10, 2013 Report Share Posted January 10, 2013 lol hey trail mix is a pretty good snack choice... maybe not a whole container, especially not a costco sized container, but what the hell.... YOLO!! lol jk. keep it up! drag your ass to that meeting, you only have to go thru day 2 once! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea Posted January 11, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 keep it up! drag your ass to that meeting, you only have to go thru day 2 once! Dragged myself to 3-hour meeting and forced myself to pay attention. Every time I consumed caffeine it made me nauseous. I went because I had to even though right now the whole thing's a blur. Day 2 evening sucks. I'm glad it's almost over because now I get to go to bed and hopefully not have nightmares -oh joy... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sky Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 yup!! good times!! good job though, you made it thru.... it'll start to get easier in oh like a month or two... hang in there! jk, it'll get easier soon, sucks at first, but keep your eye on the prize and that commitment to quitting (and not vacillating or riding the fence of indecision) will make it easier. I swear, the commitment is key, cuz then you don't have the nag of the addiction talking in your ear as much... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Your sleep in the first 2 weeks will be like that of a dead person. In fact they've studied amphetamine addicts during recovery and say they do enter an almost coma-like sleep. So enjoy it, lady, and don't feel like you have to do anything other than get through. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 11, 2013 Report Share Posted January 11, 2013 Your sleep in the first 2 weeks will be like that of a dead person. In fact they've studied amphetamine addicts during recovery and say they do enter an almost coma-like sleep. So enjoy it, lady, and don't feel like you have to do anything other than get through. I dont remember being awake very much during the first two weeks...wasnt for a while before my sleep returned to more normal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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