sublime Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 Hello everyone im john and adderall made me superman. So far since ive taken the drug for 5 months on 20 millagrams a day. Ive taught myself how to count cards how to roll sixes or ones with dice whenever i want. And an amazing thing happened I realised i was hearing voices and they talked about me all the time 24 hours a day and the voices just happened to be the voices of family and people i knew. they say john did this or did that or johns a retard bla bla bla and they were rentless i was going insane hearing them at work at home talking about personal things only a few people knew i became obssed and figures because i was staying with family and they took me grocery shopping to a store and i filled out an app and got the job where i was hearing voices so i figured i was some sort of experment and it was top secret and they were in on it i mean who works on adderall and hears voices talking about how well your working and goes home and they talk about your music and personal life i figured they ruffed me and implanted speakers in my ear drums or something. Things got so bad i couldent sleep at night the onlt escape was my i pod. I was maby a little to high and so paranoid. I was breaking out on my face and thought they were rubbing grese on my face when i was sleeping i can wash my face before bed take my finger rub my face rub the mirror if it streaks i have a greasy face if not it was clean so i clean my face go to bed wake up check my face and BAM streaks and greassy gross. thinking so fast about so much and horrable comedowns working so hard everyday succeding at life while secretly losing my mind. all i wanted was to be succesfull now im a crazy adderall addict.im quitting and im lazy and i feel like my mind is in pain withdraws........... just wanted to let people know ive lost it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sublime Posted January 19, 2013 Author Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 i just want to be free of this burden i want to be norml please stop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
quit-once Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 John, Are you still taking adderall? If so, how much?, and if not, for how long have you been off it? We have members who have experienced similar situations. My best friend went crazy too, and he came back just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 19, 2013 Report Share Posted January 19, 2013 You haven't lost it, not forever anyway. Maybe temporarily while you still continue to use. You, like so many others on here, experienced amphetamine psychosis (btw, I find it a little hard to believe that you did so by taking only 20mg a day for less than half a year, most of us who've experience psychosis were taking much more than that over an extended period of time... unless you were not sleeping at all and not eating, which can exacerbate the side effects significantly). The psychosis stops when you stop. It worsens the longer you take it and the more often you go on-off-on-off, the more likely you are to enter psychosis with each use. All of us have taken adderall because we wanted to be confident and successful. And all of us here have found the opposite to be true. You will be ok, it will take time, it will be difficult. But you can be successful, just not on adderall... I'm telling you something you already know... what's your plan to quit? You mentioned you have done so, how many days are you clean and how are you feeling? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomedayDreamer Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 Hello everyone im john and adderall made me superman. So far since ive taken the drug for 5 months on 20 millagrams a day. Ive taught myself how to count cards how to roll sixes or ones with dice whenever i want. And an amazing thing happened I realised i was hearing voices and they talked about me all the time 24 hours a day and the voices just happened to be the voices of family and people i knew. they say john did this or did that or johns a retard bla bla bla and they were rentless i was going insane hearing them at work at home talking about personal things only a few people knew i became obssed and figures because i was staying with family and they took me grocery shopping to a store and i filled out an app and got the job where i was hearing voices so i figured i was some sort of experment and it was top secret and they were in on it i mean who works on adderall and hears voices talking about how well your working and goes home and they talk about your music and personal life i figured they ruffed me and implanted speakers in my ear drums or something. Things got so bad i couldent sleep at night the onlt escape was my i pod. I was maby a little to high and so paranoid. I was breaking out on my face and thought they were rubbing grese on my face when i was sleeping i can wash my face before bed take my finger rub my face rub the mirror if it streaks i have a greasy face if not it was clean so i clean my face go to bed wake up check my face and BAM streaks and greassy gross. thinking so fast about so much and horrable comedowns working so hard everyday succeding at life while secretly losing my mind. all i wanted was to be succesfull now im a crazy adderall addict.im quitting and im lazy and i feel like my mind is in pain withdraws........... just wanted to let people know ive lost it Hi John, there actually have been reports of people having auditory hallucinations at typical prescribed dosages (with or without long-term use). I had experienced it myself several years ago without any other indicators of psychosis. I'd hear what sounded faintly like a radio announcer (with no radio on, of course) or sometimes a baby crying ( I'd then check my little ones compulsively and they'd be sound asleep as I kept hearing a baby cry...no neighboring houses had babies..) It happened on and off for a few months, then it stopped. Like you, I was taking only 20mg per day. I should've been more alarmed than I was but I just shrugged it off "oh, I'm hearing things on adderall...huh" and kept taking it. But it sounds like in your case, it went to full-blown delusional. The voices you described are saying disparaging things about you as well as you feeling paranoid about conspiracies against you. If you continue to experience this, please see a doctor. Not to scare you, but I had a friend who used dexedrine (prescribed) and it triggered an underlying predisposition to psychotic illness, she got help early and has since lived a normal life for over 20 years now. Not saying that's you, but please do see a doctor if it continues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 John. I don't even know where to begin. I had this same problem. Those voices aren't real no matter how real they seem. The voices will go away after you stop adderall. I'm afraid this is the final stop on the adderall addiction road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomedayDreamer Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 InRecovery- did you believe the voices were real at the time? I mean, did affect what you perceived as reality? That had to be so scary. I just ask because I had hallucinations/hearing things too on adderall, but I knew they weren't real (well, after checking that none of my kids were crying and there was no radio playing) and it wasn't anything talking "to" me. But I did sometimes find myself believing some strange things while on addy. I've since heard that's not uncommon even for ppl in prescription range..... talk about mindfuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greg Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I absolutely thought it was real, the voices. I didn't have a doubt, for a year at least. Or maybe even two years. Real people communicating via some secret government technology. also thought the people on tv were talking directly to me. You'd think I was on meth right? Nope. Just from snorting Ritalin and also taking the pils. Which like MFA also did, at one point I was storing them in an altoid case. Concerta also caused the voices to come. At one point just a single concerta pill would bring the voices up strong. Also at one point the voices were with me whether I took stimulants or not, obviously everyone who knew me thought I had a mental illness. No one understood amphetamine psychosis. Like the poster above, John, I believed some type of microchip was implanted in my ears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SomedayDreamer Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 I absolutely thought it was real, the voices. I didn't have a doubt, for a year at least. Real people communicating via some secret government technology. also thought the people on tv were talking directly to me. Among so many other things. I remember once watching MSNBC or whatever and suddenly the news anchor's head looked HUGE compared to his shoulders-- I thought it was like a sight gag or something and turned to my (then) husband and said " what they did to his head?? Did you see how big it was? I don't get it, what's it about?" He looked at me like I was crazy... and I sulked away in embarassment. Again, this was on like 20mg. There was much weirder stuff too but it stopped whenever I wasn't on adderall. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Motivation_Follows_Action Posted January 20, 2013 Report Share Posted January 20, 2013 We all have our drug paraphernalia, and our rituals. Altoid cases, hat boxes, maybe a special colored prescription bottle, all those tell-tale signs that only you would know about that make the addiction ever so much "better" or part of the fabric of your life. For me, I couldn't leave the house unless I knew I had adderall in my Altoids case, in my coin compartment of my wallet (gross I know), and a few lying in the bottom of my handbag or coat. Sometimes I would even store them in a baggie in my bra. Close to my heart indeed. And as for psychosis, for me as people will know on this forum, I never heard voices or saw things, but I became absolutely delusional about my own existence.... the definition of schizophrenic. Take a look at the "stages of aderrall abuse" on the other "announcements" page in this forum, and I was pretty much the definition of 7a. Scary. Let us know how you are doing and whether you have a long term plan to quit? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mikey D Posted January 25, 2013 Report Share Posted January 25, 2013 i just want to be free of this burden i want to be norml please stop Man I feel you. I had this mildly. I would even be in the room with family members and think they said something to me, I would answer them and they would look at me and say "What are you talking about." Its a very eerie feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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