Things DO improve after a year

[sirod9]

Hello - I am at 13 1/2 months clean from an intense 90mg to 200mg adderall addiction (6 years). I see a lot of new folks on here, and I remember when I was in the hell of active adderall addiction. I felt like there was no way out. I felt like I would lose EVERYTHING if I quit. Then, when I quit, the PAWS was TERRIBLE and I thought I would never feel good again. I thought I would end up just "dealing" with the way I felt for the rest of my life. Even the months approaching my 1 year mark PAWS seemed to get worse. I was scared, but I kept going. They always say that things improve around the year mark, and it is true. Sometimes it takes a bit longer, sometimes a bit less. Many folks go back to adderall, because they can't take it anymore. They don't allow themselves to heal. JUST KEEP GOING! I wrapped up my work week yesterday, and felt like a normal person again. I still have bad days/week. I still crave adderall sometimes. but being able to go about your life without the side effects and mental anguish is just fantastic! I can save money and plan stuff. Sleep is wonderful. Sitting quietly and meditating is wonderful. I can listen to myself and manage my energy but NOT doing too much of anything. Most of all, I've begun healing the relationship I have with myself. I trust myself more, because I did a really hard thing (quitting adderall) because I knew it was bad for me. 

If you feel like you will loose everything, or you feel like you cannot take another day of PAWS, just breath, and allow yourself to feel like crap for the time being. Knowing that this is just part of the healing process. it is SO worth it.

[DelaneyJuliette]

Thank you for this.  So inspiring.