Jmd
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Posts posted by Jmd
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Troy
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Thanks! I know I can do it. I was in pretty deep with pain meds and I got out of there. On occasion when filling a pain script I'll think for a moment, but then easily keep on keeping on. I guess with Adderall I just forget how much of a struggle and how much work the opiates took at first. I want that same power over adderall NOW like I have over opiates. Sometimes we easily forget the difficult battles and on remember the victory. Talking with you today has helped me feel strong already. Thank you!
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Always Awesome, how did you tell that voice in the back of your head to shut up? Like my last and longest attempt, I feel if I can get through the first couple days then I have momentum to build on. This latest relapse I'm never able to build momentum. I also hit the gym last time and lately have not had time for the gym. I am desperate to quit b/c I have this terrible feeling that I've been lucky in the past of no one else being affected but now I know my marriage and my son's life will get destroyed too if I don't stop!
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I know I can do this. I've done it before. Just for some reason this time seems more difficult than past times. I just want to be me without a chemical dictating who I am!
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Where to begin, well 4 years ago I started down a slippery slope abusing pain meds. After a year and a half I came clean to my wife and got help. During this process I started dabbling with Adderall during the withdrawal and tired periods. For the last two years I've been on and off adderall. When on adderall, I use way more than therapeutic doses and I find myself drinking way more than anyone should. In January I quit cold turkey surprisingly easy and was off for 3 of the greatest months that I can remember for a long time. Then, back in April for whatever reason I thought "man, just one adderall won't hurt and will get me that extra energy". I haven't stopped since and it's probably the worst it has been. I keep saying I need to stop but I can't go longer than 2 days. Oh, and did I mention I'm a pharmacist so this poison is around me all the time! It's part of my job!
One year came and went...too busy living to notice.
in Tell your story
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Congrats! As a newbie I definitely look at your success as inspiration. I cannot wait for the day when this evil drug isn't even a memory!