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caseymcn7

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  4. Down the toilet

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Welcome! Tough love from my husband was extremely helpful in my recovery. Did you cut yourself off from your doctor/supplier as well? If not, will you be able to resist a refill when you are lazy and unmotivated at work, and Dylan is not around?

     

    Thank you! This just happened today so I have not contacted my doctor to tell him yet. Im not due for a new RX yet so I couldn't get it now anyways. But I guess I should tell my doctor so I am not tempted to fill my Rx when the time comes

  5. Down the toilet

    in Tell your story

    Posted

    Here's my story..

     

    In high school I was pretty much a B student with the occasional A. I didn't really care too much about school, and when I graduated high school I went to a community college for a few semesters. I still didn't really care and kinda stopped going. I took a break from college and I was working and partying a lot. Then I met Dylan (my now husband). As soon as I met him, we were inseparable. He joined the air force and at his graduation he proposed to me! We got married and were stationed in Florida. When we moved here I really got the motivation to go back to school. I was ready to put in the effort I needed to to bring up my gpa. (My gpa was really low from failing a bunch of classes at the community college back home). My goal was to get into the nursing program where I live. The program is very competitive and rigorous. It took 2 semesters and a summer class to get all the prerequisites done. I put my head down and got straight As in all my prereqs, besides one B. Now I don't remember which class I was taking when a classmate had a prescription for adderall and told me how wonderful it was. I was intrigued because she said it made studying fun so I tried it and it was awesome! I used it a couple times for a couple tests in which I aced. But the majority of my prerequisite classes I made As without address. Well, when I was accepted into the nursing program (A year ago), I decided to try and get a prescription for address myself to help with studying. So I did. It was so easy to get! I loved studying for hours and hours! I felt amazing on it. At first I was only using it for school and not for work. Then I decided to try it and work and it was awesome as well! Well Ive been taking it for studying/working for about a year now and I do not feel the same as when I first started taking it. I have to take more and more to get the same effect and I crash hard sometimes. I don't really feel like myself anymore. I feel like I have to force myself to laugh in front of others when Im on it. I have like zero sex drive anymore :( I just feel like a zombie now. I want to be healthy and work out and eat right, but I feel like I cannot workout when Im on it because my heart is already pumping like crazy. I just don't feel right anymore. I decided that when summer started I was going to quit the adderall because I won't need to be studying. I was set and I told Dylan about my plan.

     

    Well It has been summer for about a month now, and Im still taking it. Everyday at work I take it and even sometimes on my days off to clean house/do chores. Basically I am almost still taking it every day. I have been keeping it a secret from Dylan. Well today we were kinda fighting about why I never want to have sex anymore, and I was feeling guilty about keeping this secret from him and I broke down and told him that I still take the adderall all the time :( I told him I really wanted to quit so bad :( Well he flushed my pills all down the toilet. He left like 4 pills so I can wean myself off of them. He was mad but very comforting and supportive at the same time. I feel so much relief that the majority of the pills are down the toilet, I almost want to flush the last 4 now too. I am so scared of going to work without adderall! I am known for busting my butt at work everyday and I am known has having a lot of energy and getting work done. I am terrified of being lazy/unproductive at work. I am terrified of gaining a bunch of weight. I am scared of a lot of things, but I am also kind of excited...

     

    Sorry for this long post. It feels good to type out all of this ! thanks for reading

     

     

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