WTFadderall

Well, it's embarrassing to admit it, but to be clear, I was/am a nervous wreck before/without medication. My doctor suggested the Adderall to help me focus while I try to manage the social anxiety, but it made it worse. So far, though, I still feel better since cutting it off last Friday, not as depressed. I'm going to get more sleep, take more gingko biloba and evening walks, and pray more. This alone will be better for me than that horrible Adderall.

Liltex, you really went through it with this medicine! Thanks for sharing your experience, wisdom and encouragement.

Been there. Years ago, before I started any medication, my social anxiety was so bad, I would waste entire days working up the courage to simply open my door and get the mail. No exaggeration - from morning until 2 -3 a.m., I panicked about opening my door at just the same time my neighbors might just happen to open theirs. Usually around 3:30 a.m., I figured the coast was clear and I would make my way to the mailbox, trembling. Then there were times I went hungry because grocery shopping was unbearable. I've come a long way, but even today I overheard coworkers say I was strange. Doge, I loved your comeback to a rude coworker lol. I think adderall made me feel twice as sociable while fresh in my system, twice as socially anxious after it wore off. I tried Paxil, Xanax, Prozac and a host of other meds that all made me either more anxious or more depressed, sometimes both. Could it be possible you're going in the wrong direction with all the meds you're taking? I've narrowed my meds down to two now and have only a fraction of the side effects that I had with 3-4 meds.

Reluctantly, I have to agree with you both.

Hi FadingFast, glad to see you're alright. What a weekend...I stayed in bed or on my couch the whole time, detoxing! I feel better today than this time Friday night, for sure!! I didn't take the tempting adderall. Therefore, no fun night out, no studying. But my nerves have calmed down, thank goodness. I can't imagine the hell you must feel after SIXTY mgs starts to wear off. I was getting psychotic from just 20 mgs a day. Maybe that's contributing to the voices in your head? And LilTex, I can't fathom what it must have been like coming off of it after so many years! Hats off to you. Doge 7 sleepystupid, I definately will tell my doctor of my experience with the medication. Although, now, I'm a little distrustful of him for prescribing it in the first place. But I am curious...does this stuff actually work for some people without side effects? I've reviewed other boards that had nothing but good things to say about adderall, which is what led me to try it in the first place. Little bummed now though...back to feeling helpless to improve my quality of life. I took the adderall so I could focus better on the job and learn new skills so that i could, for once, promote out of an entry level position and make more money doing something more interesting. Heading back to work in a few hours is going to feel like I'm returning to square one, where I've been for 20+ years. Makes me feel embarrassed, which fuels my social anxiety, causing more fogginess and forgetfulness, causing coworkers and boss to think less of me, which causes my anxiety to spike and depression to sink in lower, which will tempt me to ....aww dammit. Guess I'll be heading back over to the ADHD website now. Has anyone tried the alternative med to adderall? Not sure if it's a generic, but I heard it was as effective but without the side effects and much gentler on the nerves? I'll have to look up the name for it.

Hi LILTEX, doge... I agree, abusing chemicals and substances is not the way to go ever. And with the way adderall abuses our nervous system, that's not the way to go either. I did open up to my family and ex-boyfriend, many times. No one ever agreed that I had an anxiety disorder that needed real treatment. Every single one of them dismissed it as "all in my head" or not a "real" problem like diabetes or schizophrenia. So, I did the best I could on my own and became a nervous wreck. Thanks for the encouragement.

Wow. I checked the time that you posted your plea for help - right around the same time, I was trying to keep my sh!t together and fighting a suicidal thought. Two strangers on this planet were, at the same time, battling similar demons and ended up at the same tiny place on this vast global network. Painful situation, but I love it when that kind of thing happens. I want to thank you for writing about your problems. And thank you, Liltex, everything you said was true. I feel bad for you and hope you manage to handle the social anxiety long enough to wean off the adderall. I'm getting off of it after a few weeks trial run. I thought it was the miracle I needed all my life, but boy oh boy, this is the first time in many, many years that I had a suicidal thought! I honestly think you're making yourself more miserable with the meds. Like yourself, I am trying to achieve...well, I tried this year to go back to school for my business degree. Social anxiety disorder caused me to drop out the first time around. I couldn't afford to enroll this fall, so I threw myself into learning programming and Spanish on my own. I told my doctor how anxiety made it hard to focus and *poof*, suddenly I was diagnosed ADHD and prescribed Adderall. The first week was absolutely amazing! I was a sociable thinking machine with high hopes, motivation and intense focus. That was the euphoria. When that went away, I lost the sharp clarity and had to take more medication to get any kind of results. Now, I feel more depressed when the Adderall wears off, prompting me to refill my mind with it. This is the beginning of dependency and addiction. Even now, my depressed thoughts are to pop a couple pills so I can have a fun, productive Saturday night instead of moping in sad loneliness. Is it worth the subsequent crash? I moved out of my parent's house so I could hide my embarrassing life from the family because they never could empathize. So, basically no support system for me, emotionally or financially, besides my faith and my determination to be of some good use in this life. I hope life gets better for me. I hope life gets better for you. Sorry, I meant this to be much more encouraging for you. : /