[90 Day Update: Extreme Brain Fog]

Hi All,

Told my story a few months ago here: 

To quickly recap though I was on around 20-30mg everyday for a year plus. I went cold turkey March 1st. I had one slip up about 2 weeks when I was out drinking and took some, but outside of that have been good and am committed to not letting it happen again. 

I have 2 main symptoms that continue to plague me

1-Brain Fog: The Fog is so intense and scary that it makes me think I have a brain tumor or something. Its not a headache its almost like my brain is "sticky" or "heavy" if that makes sense. Some days are better than others but most days are bad. 

2: Pulsating Temples: The temples on the right and left side of my forehead will not stop pulsating. Obviously it increases when stressed/tired, but for the past 3 weeks its been nonstop and scaring the shit out of me. I went to a neurologist and have a scan scheduled to be safe, but he told me if I'm experiencing this I should go back on adderall (eye roll).

These two symptoms are just really freaking me out and compounding into more anxiety. Does anyone have experience with similar symptoms and advice for how long they last/relief?

Thank you. 

 

 

[Day One]

UPDATE:

So today is my 2 month mark, and it’s been quite the struggle. As expected, my biggest hurdle has been concentration and the worst unexpected impact has been the mental fog. I’d say 2-3 days a week my fog is so awful that I’m basically debilitated at work. I’m starting a new job in a few weeks and want to hit the ground running so I’m super worried about this. I feel myself on the verge of relapse but I’m trying to stay strong. I don’t have my script so I don’t even have a way to get it but my worry is that I’ll want to go above and beyond at the new job and call my doctor. 

 

The fog fog is absolutely miserable I feel brain dead at times and just want to nap. I’ve used B12, occasional L tyosorine and I regularly workout but I just can’t kick this. Does anyone have experience with when this started to get better or any advice? I’m just so miserable like this. 

[Day One]

So I’m almost a month in now and here are some updates:

I feel like I’m at a bend but don’t break point. As I expected, once I got pat the initial withdrawal the mental impacts weren’t too difficult for me as I wasn’t on adderall for much more than a year. However I’m still having a very tough time concentrating at work. I’ve been a bit lucky that these past 4 weeks happened to be slower so it was a good time to quit, but things are picking up quickly and I have a rough few weeks ahead. These are the moments where I hve been tempted to take it again. I’ve been able to be semi productive and get my job done without anyone notciving a difference, but as things pick I’m quite scared how I’m going to be productive. I’m in a demanding job and demand a lot of myself, so not having the will power to get through is frustrating. I think the adderaline of quitting helped me power through the first few weeks rather easily but now that reality of work is settling back in I’ve deffinetely had thoughts and romanticized taking it again. I just have to keep reminding myself of how awful those comedown nights were and not feeling like myself. Trying to stay strong...

[Day One]

On 3/8/2018 at 8:28 PM, EricP said:

Try vitamin B2 200-400mg for the afternoon headaches. My doc turned me on to it and has helped save a ton of Advil for me.

Thanks. Do you take it in the afternoon before the headaches?

[New Dream Job...No More Adderall. Help Please]

5 hours ago, justwannalive said:

Next week, I start my dream job at a company I've fantasized about for years. It’s the epitome of a dream come true…or at least it should be. I moved to Boston last year so that I could focus on my career in science. While my last job was a foot in the door,  this is what I’ve fantasized about since age five. Now that it’s here, I am absolutely horrified. I am so scared that I'll ruin this opportunity, while battling an existence controlled by the rollercoaster that is Adderall. 

 

 

I’m at the biggest cross roads of my entire life, and I know what I need to do. I need to STOP taking Adderall. No exceptions. No gradual weening. I can handle the physical side effects of withdrawal – have done so countless times. It’s the psychological part that has kept me hooked.

 

 

But this time, I’m not simply nodding along in agreement while reading others recount their story. I’m not idly fooling myself into thinking “one day” I’ll stop and everything will return to normal. I’m not in denial about my addiction, nor do I think I should even be prescribed this medication. Enough is enough. I’m almost 30 years old. I’m getting married in September. It’s been one excuse after another for the past 5 years. What happens now will define the next chapter of my life... for better or for worse.

 

 

 

Since receiving this job offer two weeks ago- I’ve relapsed into a pattern I know all too well. Eating next to nothing for days on end, staying up past 4 AM only to wake up three hours later and pop another 30 mg. I don’t fit the profile of an addict, and because of this, nobody- myself included- has perceived a problem, let alone done anything to stop it.  

 

I stay up all night and am praised the next day at work for “going above and beyond”’ the following morning. I’m successful, well liked, and funny. I’m engaged to the most amazing person (I’m pretty sure my own mother loves her more than me!). Yet I’d spent my entire life doubting everything, and everyone, on a daily basis. The first time I took Adderall…all of this changed. I’ve spent the past 5 years on a rollercoaster of the highest of highs and lowest of lows.

 

Similar to the countless stories of others, I never set out to become addicted to Adderall. The first time I took a 10 mg pill in the library, I felt just like any other college kid- invincible and happy to be studying! I never thought I’d continue taking Adderall after college, let alone obtain my own prescription. I never thought I’d take Adderall for any purpose other than to study. Fast-forward to present day- Adderall gets me through even the most basic daily routines.  

 

No Adderall?  Grub hub for dinner.

 

No Adderall? Forget about laundry.

 

No Adderall? I’ll be working from home today

 

The most alarming? I won’t even socialize with my best friends; I won’t go to happy hour on a Friday Night without that handy script in my pocket…and I’m one of the most extroverted people you’ll ever meet.

 

 

 

I have always been a very motivated individual. I love to engage in conversation, learn about psychology, hang out with friends, play sports…the list goes on. And guess what- I’m still extremely ambitious, adventurous, and social. The only difference is that I now take a pill. I take a pill to sustain the characteristics that make me, me.  And without that pill…I disappear.  

 

I cannot do this anymore. I am one wrong move away from ruining my seemingly perfect life. But I’m strong, and I refuse to let this drug control me for another second.

 

As I summarize these past 5 years, I cannot picture a life without Adderall. But for the first time…I’m ready to start painting the picture. And I’m ready to start right now.

 

I NEED to start this job with a clean slate, without a crippling dependency on this amphetamine.  If I don’t, the pattern continues indefinitely. I’m looking for help and turning to this forum for support. I confide in my fiancé and therapist, but need more. 

 

Only those who have lived this can understand the desperation to make it stop…

 

 

Just read your story after your post on my story and I think we’re in super similar positions. 

Im upper 20’s, super career motivated in a big job, and a very social personal. I also first tooo addy just to study in college and never thought I’d get a script. I even went the first 3 years without it in the real world but then slowly got sucked in to the point where I couldn’t do anything at work without it and needed it to go out on weekends. Like you I’m not as concerned about the depression/anxiety parts because the come downs are 10x worse than anything like that. I’m only really concerned about concentration and being productive at work  

I’ve been on it everyday for about a year plus and this is now my 7th day. I’d say the first 2 days at work I was pretty much debilitated to do work and had withdrawal headaches by the afrternoon. L tysrone and B12 helped a bit. Now on day 7 things are definitely going better already, but I’m still scared for my first major assignment that requires hours of concentration and work. Like you I didn’t have the luxury of do nothing time but since you’ve been on it for 5 years I’d say your first few days will likely be tough. You’ll just need to power through and I’m assuming your first few days of a new job won’t be too hard anyway. Good luck you got this. 

[Day One]

11 minutes ago, sleepystupid said:

the excitement of starting something new can definitely help through recovery. the only reason i made it through was that i started seeing someone new, and the excitement of that relationship kept me mentally and otherwise occupied (:

if you're starting the new job on Monday, maybe you should start your first clean day tomorrow, so you have a couple of days to vegetate? good luck!! 

I’d agree with this maybe start tomorrow if you can to give yourself a few days. Today is 1 week for me and the past 2 days have been significantly better than the first 5. The first 2 work days were rough but now I’m able to at least be productive for half the day. L tyrosine and b12 have helped me get through the withdrawal phase a lot. Good luck! 

[Day One]

On 3/2/2018 at 3:22 PM, sleepystupid said:

 

yea, this is definitely the toughest part of recovery. it's why the "do nothing" stage is so important if you have that luxury. understandably, many people don't, and the pressure to perform can make it very tempting to return to adderall.

here's something to consider: there is a difference between performance and delivery. adderall makes you feel like everything needs to be done at the highest level of excellence. this is why abusing adderall can actually end up making you less productive. when you come off adderall, you can't and shouldn't measure yourself against your adderall self. the regular you is more than capable of delivering under pressure. you just have to re-learn what a sufficient job actually means. it's a skill that every "normal" person has to rely on from time to time. (:

Thanks. 5 days in now and today was my 2nd work day. It’s hasnt been easy but I’ve gotten through it. Just hoping that once this initial withdrawial phase passes that I’ll build up the ability to concentrate better. Understand it takes time. 

The headaches during the day have been tough also, but nothing compared to the comedowns I would have. Excited for this to pass...nights have actually been more enjoyable so far not feeling constant comedowns. Yoga and meditation have helped too. 

[Day One]

Thanks. Thats deffinetely the point I’m at. I’ve been telling myself I need to stop and there won’t be a good time...based on stories here the longer I wait the worse it will be. I’m super worried about work when it picks up, but I just need to get it done like I have in the past. 

[Day One]

Today was my first day. I’m 28 and have been completely dependent on adderall for work for about a year now. In college I took it semi regularly from friends but only to crash study in the library. Once I started my desk job post college I didn’t touch it for years even though I was tempted, then about a year ago as my work responsibilities grew I started borrowing from my friends again and was pretty much taking it everyday. I got my own script about six months ago and have been taking around 20-30 instant mg since throughout the day. At first I was just taking it a few times a week but now I rely on it for almost every work task. My comedowns are awful and I’m sick of being in a fog at night and telling myself it needs to stop. I go to the gym regularly after work and have awful comedown headaches nearly everyday. 

I don’t take it on weekends but I’m constantly napping then  

I’m ready to Stop and feel like a person again  

Today was day one and it was hard. I had a headache throughout the day and concentrating wasn’t easy. But I got through it and am in good spirits. For me, I’m not as concerned about depression and mood swings because my mood was awful when I was on adderall. After the initial high ran off, I was in awful spirits daily, so even though withdrawal will be hard being on it wasn’t good.

By far I’m most concerned about being able to concentrate again and do my job well. My job is demanding and I have a lot of responsibilities. I don’t really have time for a “do nothing” stage. I can certainly take it easier and find ways to get by during the withdrawal but  I’m nervous when my next major assignment comes in that I’ll feel debilitated without it. It’s become such a crutch for everything at work.

I’m committed to doing this cold turkey and this website has been helpful. Anyone who has been a similar situation with tips would be much appreciated. Specifically any supplements like B12, fish oil, etc that have helped anyone for work in a similar spot. Thanks much.