OMG i am SO overwhelmed. Today is Day 3 and I just want to cry. I am starting to see just how insanely unrealistic my expectations of myself are off Adderall, but I still don't really know what to do about it. I own my own business, work full time and am a mom of 4. I know I need to cut myself some slack but my anxiety is through the roof. I keep reminding myself that I am not superwoman (everyone calls me that, lol, and I've always had a crazy amount of energy even off Adderall.) 3 days off everything fully (and weeks/months of trying to taper only to unsuccessfully binge again) I finally am willing to see how Adderall has actually made things harder for me even though it has FELT like it made things easier. I only know 2 modes on Adderall - 150% full force, or off. That is not realistic. It is what keeps me trapped. When amped up, I over-commit, then when down, I feel the need to just turn everything off and sleep. What self-care? This has to stop and it is. BUT, little things overwhelm me SO MUCH and without the Adderall to move past the feelings quickly, I get stuck in my OCDish traits. For example, I can't even figure out how to best follow this forum! (i know there is no "best" but it overwhelms me.) Do I start a new post each time I want to say something? Do I randomly post on other people's things I've been reading? Do I keep posting on this forum so that I can keep track of the conversation? Wow, I sound like I am on Adderall right now trying to "get it all right" but really this is just anxiety and I also know that it doesn't matter at all. There is just so much to do and not enough time! UGH! Okay, breathe. I can do this. One thing at a time. Breathe. There is no way I can possibly do all the things I feel like I need to do today, and that is okay. I will be cleaning up "adderall messes" for awhile and that's okay. (Meaning, things I started and couldn't finish; things I bought and never took back, etc.) It's okay, breathe. Thanks everyone just for being here. It helps SO MUCH to know that I'm not alone.
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SO OVERWHELMED
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