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Posts posted by nordicprincess
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Hi everyone,
I'm Kelly. I can't tell you how relieved I was to find this website. I finally feel like I've found a group of people who can understand what I'm going through. Anyway, I'm currently on day 37 (from a 7+ year addiction) and every single day I wake up and can't believe I no longer have Adderall in my life. I feel like I'm in mourning. I'm currently in an intense, accelerated nursing program and it's the beginning of the semester. My first exam is on Monday and I have yet to be able to study because my focus is just nonexistent and my cravings are unbearable. As much as I wish I could put school on hold, it's just not a possibility and this is going to be the first exam I ever took/studied for off Adderall.
What I'm really trying to ask is - did any of you attempt to quit while still in school? If so, do you have any tips??
Thank you so much.
- 2
Getting through college...HELP
in General Discussion
Posted
Drew,
First of all, thank you so much for your reply! What you said here really, really resonated with me and made me take a step back; this internal dialogue that I've been having with myself the past few days has been a lot of romanticizing the work I did while on Adderall and the way it made me feel. The reason I quit was complex. I isolated myself physically and emotionally from my friends and family, had no sense of humor, would become hyperfocused on the wrong things, began to lose control over how much I took...going through a 30-day prescription in <2 weeks, and the comedowns started to be unbearable - making me feel depressed and unable to sleep. Quitting was something in the back of my mind for years, and I knew I would have to face it someday, but I "loved" it so much. I was in denial about my addiction because I thought Adderall helped me have the stamina and focus to accomplish anything that I otherwise couldn't have done. While I know this isn't totally true, a part of me still believes this and I hate myself for it. I so desperately want to change my thinking.
But as you said - there will be no "convenient" time to quit. Once my career begins - I will be dealing with a whole new set of challenges and I need to have this behind me. Thank you for this.
I'm taking your advice and going to a local coffee shop to get some studying done. Baby steps. My biggest challenge will be accepting that my grades may suffer during recovery. I will try to lower the expectations I've put on myself and see how well I'm able to do without "help", I just hope it gets easier. I will definitely come back to say how it went! Thanks so much for the words of encouragement.