Sydney

This might be my first time joining a forum with the intent to post/reply to a community. But I feel like this is super important for my adderall detox journey I’m 28, and have been taking adderall on and off for about 11 years (ON for the past 4+ years). I finally graduated from college a few months ago, and successfully cut my dosage from about 45-60mg/day to 15-30mg/day since May. My plan was to be off completely by the time I had graduated, but I haven’t really been proactive in actually trying to quit... until last night. I’ve felt extremely stagnant lately, especially since graduating in the middle of COVID. Everything going on in the world has had me experiencing much more anxiety than normal, and this unfortunately always comes with my neck/shoulder pain flare-ups. I’m not laughing as much as I used to, and that is something that I really miss the most. I feel like there’s no better time than now to really do this.. because I honestly feel like I’ve become powerless to Adderall in a way. I feel like I can’t do a simple fucking task like the dishes without it. My boyfriend of 3+ years is super supportive and happy I’m finally attempting to do this. He doesn’t use any substances at all, and I’m so grateful I have him as support through this. But I’m also super nervous for my anticipated side effects. I told him to be prepared for some irritability and extreme fatigue from me. I know he’s always going to be there and understand (he has a brother who has struggled with meth addition for 20+ years), but I’m a bit nervous for him seeing who I am through the detox/withdrawal process. I’ve always been pretty good about organizing/planning and keeping up with the house and to-do lists.. and always have some future DREAM or TRIP or IDEA for us. Lol now that I think about it maybe he’ll enjoy my new sense of “calm,” being that he’s the most laid-back person I know. I feel like I’m going to experience so much fatigue and confusion here in the next few weeks, which scares me. I have some self-doubt but at the same time I’m super excited to be doing this. If that makes any sense. I planned out and wrote down a schedule for tapering off. Starting with 15mg/day this week, and tapering down by 5mg/week the following 2 weeks. I gave my boyfriend the rest of my script to hide/throw out or whatever he wanted to do with it. It’s hard to see myself asking for it back because I think I would feel too much shame, and I know how proud he is of me for taking this first step. We’ll see, I guess! This is A LOTTT but I don’t really have anyone I feel comfortable spilling all of this to who would truly understand. The friends I do feel the most comfortable talking to are still on adderall (my best friend is being very supportive though), and I don’t want to kill them with all of this talk just yet. I don’t want them to feel more ashamed for still taking it themselves. I know my best friend struggles with that, and I’m hoping my journey will inspire her, too. Anyways - I’m so glad to have found this forum. I’ve already read so many inspiring (and relatable) stories. If anyone has tips for extreme fatigue (other than caffeine) that would be amazing! This is the part I’m most worried about.