PD5

I’ve been experiencing this too. Takes me forever to fall asleep (3/4 am often), but I’ve woken up at 8am every day since I quite a month and a half ago and haven’t been able to fall back asleep. No help from any sleep aids. A big part of it for me is anxious thoughts seizing my mind as soon as I wake up. Hasn’t shown any sign of improving so far.

@NurseAddy very sorry to hear about the speech problems, and I hope that they resolve soon. Youre obviously very effective at formulating and communicating your thoughts in written form! How long did it take for the feelings to return for you?

Hey everybody, I’ve seen many references to dosage, duration, and age being the main factors in predicting the recovery process. I’m curious if anyone has any opinions or guidelines on the extent to which those factors come into play, specifically age. Obviously, the higher the dosage and the longer the duration of use means the longer the recovery will be, but how would you say that the age of the person when taking/quitting factors in?

Thank you all for your replies and the encouragement. Although I’m new in my quit, the amount of damage caused by this abuse that has become evident in this last month compels me to strongly urge those of you still using to quit as soon as possible. @NurseAddy I appreciate that perspective. I don’t think sobriety will really be an issue for me as I have absolutely no desire to take the devil pills ever again, but I will be very focused on healing. I would like to start on some sort of therapy soon if I can find a way to afford it, or find a free group. It’s been a little over a month now and I believe my symptoms have gotten worse. My overall mental state seems to be declining with each day, although this may be a product of the constant rumination, insomnia, and general lack of activity (although those may be a product of my poor mental state lol). In general, I feel sort of brain dead. I have nothing to say to others, and can sort of fake my way through conversations by mirroring/repeating the words of the other person or by making stupid jokes that even I don’t find funny. I just feel a general slowness. I’m guessing this is the brain fog that others on here have referred to, but I am really wondering if I’ve become an idiot or permanently compromised by brain’s abilities to make me function as a person.

Hey everybody, Very thankful for this site! I’m 27 and I’ve been abusing adderall for the last 4 years. I’m prescribed 30mg and was taking an average of 70-120 mg a day about 5 days a week for 3 out of those 4. Although I was pretty productive during that time, I started to notice that I was having a harder and harder time making decisions. I now feel like I can’t trust my mind anymore because all thoughts are equal and equally vague. I used to be a highly opinionated person with a strong sense of personal morality and very specific tastes, but now I find I have no conviction or real opinions about anything. I quit for a month at the end of last year, then resumed my usage at about 70mg/day for another couple months. I quit for 3 weeks in March, then went back on for 4 days at around 20mg/day. I quit for good after that and it’s been about 3 weeks. Since then, my overall state has been the worst it’s ever been in my life. All I do is walk around my apartment from room to room, fidgeting with some pillows on my couch, and then getting into bed and reading these forums. My mind is looping with thoughts of regret, playing over the last 4 years and ruminating on what I’ve lost because of Adderall. This is literally on my mind constantly, from the moment I wake up until the moment I go to bed. I have extreme anhedonia and constant anxiety and a feeling of hopelessness. I’m also having lots of trouble sleeping; I’ll typically fall asleep around 2am and wake up at 7, and once I wake up the rumination begins and I can’t fall back to sleep. I used to have a great sense of humor and would laugh and joke around constantly, but I feel like I haven’t had a real laugh or an authentic smile in months. My appetite is also almost completely non-existent. It really feels like I have no soul. The strange thing is that I didn’t feel this bad during the previous quitting periods. This current attempt at quitting after going back on for that short period of 4 days has been far worse. Prior to this time, I had never seriously read about adderall addiction or about the neurotoxic effects of adderall abuse. Since I started researching, it has completely consumed my mind. I’m wondering if I will ever get back my sense of humor, my ability to feel connection with others and feel pleasure, and my creativity will ever return. Getting some of my intelligence back would be nice too. It feels as though my entire personality has been irreversibly altered. Reading this post back to myself, it looks very similar to many other posts I’ve read on this site, so I know I’m not alone in my experience. If anyone has any insight, I would love to hear. Thank you to anyone who reads this!