FisherKing

@Jon B It's tough. I thought I'd be able to jump back in like I did when I was tweaking. I'm having a really hard time sitting there all day and concentrating on tasks, especially with all the anxiety of starting a new job and hoping I'm doing all the right things to impress my employer. I have this huge fear looming over me that I'll lose my job before I even get good and started. I hope I can conquer that fear because it's probably irrational and could turn into self-fulfilling prophecy if I'm not careful. Also, I get very anxious when things get quiet and I'm not busy. Hopefully I'll get better at this in the coming weeks. I have been out of work for a while and it's going to take a minute to get back into the groove.

Some people prefer AA because they don't get into discussions about drugs. It can be triggering, especially hearing all of their stories. With AA, you've got one drug, and it's not the one you have a problem with. So, there's no real trigger for you, but the recovery is the same. I don't think you could lose by trying it out because a support system is what we need most of all.

@Jon B AA will work. It's the same 12 step, I believe. As soon as you leave your first meeting, you'll have a bunch of phone numbers of people waiting to help support you because they've already been there and know what it's like.

I started taking Buspar for my anxiety. It didn't work so well at first, but once we kept tapering up the dose to one that worked, I was able to function again without the paralyzing anxiety. I still have anxiety when I wake up, but once I take Buspar, it's gone within 15 minutes. I highly recommend it since it's not a narcotic and isn't habit forming. Other things that have helped me are walking at least a mile everyday, weight lifting 5 days a week, and going to Narcotics Anonymous and building up a support system of other recovering addicts who can relate to me and my problem and support me through my recovery. I'm at 8 months now, and I feel exactly like you. It will eventually end, but I can't tell you when. Everybody is different. A doctor might be able to help you.

Today marks my 8th month clean and tomorrow morning I'm going back to work for the first time in those 8 months. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but I'm so glad to be getting back on my feet.

@AsdYes, those are all common. Look up Post Acute Withdrawals (PAWS). There are some good videos on YouTube about it. I didn't start getting tired and sleepy for almost 8 months. I've been depressed, anxious, irritable, and I've had brain fog, lack of motivation, and so on. I have the worst anxiety now which is debilitating. I'm also very indecisive. I started going to Narcotics Anonymous to gain the tools and support to overcome this. The good news is, it does get better. It takes time.

It's like the 7 months of recovery is the golden ticket. @DrewK15 was right about it being time to start picking up the pieces and starting over. After a couple of months seeking work but not being able to function well enough to interview, the job offers started rolling in because my senses started coming back. I could finally answer questions and interact in the interviews. It was wild watching myself recover my senses. Now, I have a chance to climb out of this valley. My recovery is pretty much tracking along with what others have experienced.

I just wanted to write this for those who are wondering when their insomnia will lift. For me, it was exactly 7.5 months. I finally get sleepy and sleep 8 or more hours at night. I think this will be the turning point because I wasn't getting better. I've felt the same exact way I felt the first week I quit, and I believe it's because I haven't been able to sleep.

Roller coaster of emotions. I was fine yesterday and the evening before, but today I'm full of anxiety and actually crying. Will this ever end?

I'm doing much better today. I actually started feeling better last night and fell asleep at 8 pm and woke up the next morning at 6 am. That's the most sleep I've gotten since I quit 7.25 months ago. I usually don't get more than 4 hours of sleep. I also don't have that fear of going places today either. I got out and got some things taken care of that I've let linger for too long. I feel like my old self for the first time in a long time.

@tjzen Do withdrawals cause these thoughts even after 7 months? I know I'm not completely healed because I have a lot of issues that haven't been fixed like absolutely no libido, can't sleep, and my appearance is atrocious. I have sunken eyes, black circles, and brain fog to go along with the overwhelming anxiety.

I hope it does get better because right now it feels like the end of the world. I have thoughts of suicide everyday. I feel so hopeless.

Thank you. I hope you're right. I workout hard everyday and walk about 2.5 to 4 miles a day to help get a handle on my anxiety. I was on 60 to 90 mg for about 11 years.

@tjzen my anxiety is through the roof. I don't know how I'm going to make it through this.

I have been sober for 7 months exactly, and I still look and feel bad. I was stupid and quit my job while I was still on the drug. I had a grandiose idea of myself. I thought I'd get back to work in a new job in no time. Two months after quitting work, I stopped taking the drug and was so sick with withdrawals for months that I couldn't even think about looking for a new job. I could only focused on getting better. Here I am, 7 months sober, 10 months unemployed, on the brink of homelessness, and I can't find another job. I've looked and looked and looked. I know the reason I can't land a job right now is because of the anhedonia and my appearance. I'm well educated, and I've been in my industry of over 20 years, but Adderall made me look like a meth addict. I'm still waiting for the black circles under my eyes to disappear. The sad part is, I can hardly think while I'm in job interviews to answer questions or convey the old fun loving guy I used to be. Every time I get passed over for a position, I go deeper into my dark place where there is no hope to be found and no light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what to do. Please, someone, convince me this will get better.