Hi all,
four months clean off of Adderall/Vyvanse after abusing it for the past 8 years. Not everyday, but when I did, I would go on extreme binges taking 30 mg of vyvanse every few hours for 24 hours straight, etc. or take 1/3 my adderall script in a night.
I would doctor shop so my dose would change but I was always prescribed around 30 mg vyvanse and 20 mg XR adderall.
i went to rehab and did the whole thing. I haven’t drank. I’m four months in, and now that I’m starting to untangle the mess of my life (facing financial matters I ignored for months, health appointments) …. I feel intense cravings. Likely due to the increased stress from financial struggles, returning to work earlier than expected due to expenses, and starting to isolate in my room again which is where I used to have binges.
i am so tired and just wondering when it gets better and trying to tell myself I don’t want to restart my progress.
But man if I could take adderall/vyv and respond to the 15+ people I have been neglecting, go through my mail, and set up all my doctor appts & be done… that would be great… or at least that’s what I keep thinking and I know that’s the addiction talking. It’s saying I could do that and then once I’m in a good place I could start recovery again. Idk. It’s tough not being responsive to friends virtually or in person (I have a friend who moved in my building as soon as I started recovery, bad timing).
please any words of advice or wisdom or even just relating to me.
TLDR: I don’t feel great at 4 months sobriety and social/financial demands are making me want to relapse