Fonzarelli

It's amazing how hard it is to find people talking about how they believe Adderall destroyed their marriage or relationship. This must be by design, since so many are getting paid to promote and/or use the drug. Then I finally find this resource, and lo and behold, these posts all rime with what I went through. So, with much gratitude and empathy for all who came before me here, my experience went as follows. I met the woman who would become my wife while she worked at a news station as a morning anchor. I thought, how could she do this job, and as a single mom of a five year old to boot? The father of the child it tuned out was the result of a one-night-stand, and he was never told. Like the old song by 'Heart'. I fell for it, she and her daughter moved in with me because in the wake of the 2008 GFC, she was broke, homeless and jobless. Her daughter became like my own. We worked tirelessly in her development. As an 18 year old honors student, she made it into an 'Ivy League' college in upstate NY. One semester in, she's falling behind. Mom takes her to a therapist, the therapist prescribes 'Adderall'. She also gets special treatment in class, like more time on tests. She makes it through college and graduates, hallelujah. Here's the thing. By the sophomore year, Mom realized this Adderall had really turned things around for daughter, and, by God she must have ADHD like daughter, too. Mom goes to the same therapist who says 'Hell yes you do' and prescribes a gigantic jar of Adderall. No one told me about this. Mom had been a heavy, and I do mean heavy, drinker since I'd met her. Suddenly, she's acting euphoric as can be. Wants to go back to study comedy and film and become a 'star' at age 50. Ok. She moves to Chicago for a full calendar year. For seven years I'd gotten her a job at my company. She does it remotely in Chicago. She's waking up at 3am to work before school. In school all day, come home, drink, do more work. Starts dropping balls at work. School's not working out the way she wanted. I moved with her, but now the anger is building toward me. I'm thinking "Wtf. I'm going as hard as I can here. Supporting, grocery shopping, cooking, buying equipment for her, helping out on shoots.. not one other person has their spouse here and she's telling classmates that her husband is 'not supportive'." Ok. You get the idea. The day school ends, she screams at me she wants a divorce. As bad as things had gone, it was a punch to my face. We drive back West in silence. I keep trying to make her 'happy'. It's futile. The anger is blasting out of her like a Saturn V engine at launch. The resentment toward me rolls in like giant, Winter swells. After 16 years together, who was this woman I was with? I had never met nor known her. What I did know? She hated me. Screamed at me. Was dealing with a reality that simply was not true. Yet, I was being called the 'gaslighter'. She realizes something is wrong. Joins AA meetings over Zoom. Decides to stop drinking. I'm thinking, "Awesome! I stop with you." Instead of things getting better? They get 10x worse. The anger toward me is now honed into precision, like a magnifying glass in the sun being used to fry an insect on the sidewalk in the heat of July. I can smell myself burning. One day she takes the dogs and the cat and leaves before first light. The money in the bank account, high five figures, gone. She hired the best lawyers, never one conversation about dealing with the crisis, staying together, anything. The single mom who had shown up at my door broke, jobless and homeless, would divorce me into the most wealth she has ever known in her life after ten years of marriage and 17 years of being together. She had drank and drugged herself into 'being well off' with an Ivy League kid... and she thinks she is the one who 'did it'. I held zero importance in her life. As a professional dog walker, she believes Adderall allows her to think clearly. In addition to the cognitive gains, it keeps her figure tight in the early 50's and keeps the younger guys hungry for it. If any guy or woman thinks it's not true, well, she'll rip your head off if you get in her way. She's a full blown Karen who thinks she's hot as F. Anyway, now I'm in South America, living my recovery from a situation I never wanted but should have seen coming. It was actually pretty great, at least until Adderall showed up. I think I will take what I learned from carrying her shit around at film school and create a documentary on the truths of what Adderall actually is but no one wants to acknowledge. "Adderall the Destroyer".